Discussion What do you do when literally no one knows how you feel and you can't tell anyone

[OdeToTheMets]

Like I can't bring myself to burden anyone else with telling them how terrible I can feel sometimes. So no one has any idea. I can't go to therapy cause people will find out.I can't let anyone know anything. Everyone thinks I'm doing fine.
Honestly a lot of the reason I think about CTB'ing is because it'd be such a surprise to everyone. They'd all suddenly feel terrible and guilty. It might be the most significant thing I could even do with my life.

But I know I'm not supposed to think things like that. I wish I was a character in a movie or something where there was no repercussions.

 

[F@#$]

I drink too much smoke too much and keep my mouth shut. Is how I deal.

 

[ArteriesBindEveryon]

Like I can't bring myself to burden anyone else with telling them how terrible I can feel sometimes. So no one has any idea. I can't go to therapy cause people will find out.I can't let anyone know anything. Everyone thinks I'm doing fine.
Honestly a lot of the reason I think about CTB'ing is because it'd be such a surprise to everyone. They'd all suddenly feel terrible and guilty. It might be the most significant thing I could even do with my life.

But I know I'm not supposed to think things like that. I wish I was a character in a movie or something where there was no repercussions.

Don't CTB for anyone but yourself. It's your life and your choice, so it must be for your own sake. I wouldn't do anything drastic to get their attention either because you could end up in a psych ward. Are you living independently? If so, you could see a therapist without anyone knowing. If you're still with your parents, you could express a desire to see one without detailing why. Obviously this is all assuming you haven't tried a therapist yet.

 

[wait.what]

I come here because sometimes you all are the only people I can relate to.

Edit: There's virtual therapy visits too. You could connect with your phone and talk wherever you felt safe. That won't help if you're on someone else's insurance, though. Unless you're able to pay privately…?

 

[wiinterfrost]

smoking weed and continuously stabbing myself in my mind tbh. that's how i mostly cope
but yeah existing alongside other people and they think one is fine while one is literally in so much pain one start thinking of death 24/7 is such a surreal jarring experience that it can even feel out-of-body and honestly that can be just as painful as the other main factors because humans are social creatures so social isolation can rly fuck with the brain even more idk if i am making sense

and honestly i can kinda get that reasoning. to commit suicide cause it is such a shock to others. i felt that many times and imagined shoving my death in those people's face. especially those who put me in this position in the first place. but as ArteriesBindEveryon wrote you shouldn't do it for anyone but you.
your death should belong to you and no one else.

wishing you all the best, hopefully you can feel relief from this pain.

 

[ultrasharpy123456]

I go on my own discord server and vent to myself until I feel better. It's good that way, that way no one has to be annoyed about me talking about my feelings.

 

[restless.dreams]

I usually journal and talk to people on this forum. If I told anyone in real life how I feel, I would get sent to the psych ward (again).

 

[Teary01]

Usually i just go and try to sleep or just a simple nap. If not, I just push myself to do the more simple things like showering or eating- mainly because it helps me feel like I'm progressing just a little bit atleast. Escaping reality by indulging myself in music is also a pretty good way :]]

I wish all of you the best in some form of relief of this world's cruelty :] stay strong

 

[Young.Werther]

Cry by myself until I sleep. Rinse and repeat until you stop feeling awful and then start again when you start feeling awful again. I won't say this is a good solution, just that this is what I do.

Sometimes I can watch some distracting show but the moment I stop watching everything starts again, so it's only temporary.