Help what do you do when all you want to do is kill yourself?

[pattyr26]

My depression's getting bad again, and I have no energy to do anything. My new job won't start for a bit, so I'm just stuck in my room. I don't have money to go out, and I can't get myself to sleep, so I'm wondering what the hell to do with myself. Realistically, I should clean (my place is gross), but I have negative energy. Video games aren't doing anything for me, and any creative pursuits I normally go towards (drawing, writing, etc) just frustrate me lately. I just took my first shower in, like, a week, and it completley wiped any and all energy I had. I'm just tired of mindlessly watching YouTube, but I need distractions or all my suicidal thoughts flood in at once. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[sanctionedusage]

no suggestions but youre not alone. currently ripe as fuck and tired from just eating breakfast.

 

[meemee]

Do you have parks near your place? Anywhere you can walk just to look at the view? I usually take myself outside to breathe fresh air and exercise, because I know that getting stuck inside the room will not be good for me.

 

[Lions303]

Love the suggestion of going out for a walk in a park or in nature if thats near? Even in a city thats good too. When you say your job wont start for a bit, what are we talking? day? weeks? months? Could maybe try some of those things and see if you feel any better? If your like me, when Im just sat around not doing anything, it feels like im just wasting time and being a miserable failure. I tend to just do shit, just to keep busy to not really think, then if a list of stuff gets done thats decent then I can have time to myself as a reward

 

[TimingOut]

If doing all sorts of things alone don't work out, perhaps doing them with some positive thinking persons would. Just a thought.

 

[Still here]

Try going out for a walk. For me it really helps

 

[EmptyBottle]

mmm, maybe have a long nap, then spend a tiny bit of time on cleaning?

 

[grey.skye]

Getting out of the house helps me a lot. I love to go for a walk or sit at a coffee shop

 

[dystopiandogdays]

My ex once talked to me and recommended me to watch a video of someone doing something you consider to be genuinely productive. Bitter memory, but good advice. Sometimes, I find it's a little easier to move one foot off the bed, then the other, when I'm watching a video of carpenters up and moving, framing a house, or watching a farrier construct horseshoes and fit them to a hoof.

 

[Xiaojiu]

distractions = coping mechanisms

Make a list of your favorite activities, ways you enjoy doing self care, and fave hobbies/passions. Also, depression often leads others to working out and spending time in nature to get fresh air (park, garden, beach, hike, etc.).

For example, when I was a teenager my fave place for escape was my apartment's rooftop. I would go up there, write in my journal, draw, stretch, listen to music. All while enjoying the view of the clouds, sky, and sometimes the sunset Other fave distractions involved playing DDR (form of exercise) and MMORPGs (escapism).

 

[honorando]

gotta be honest. I always jork in these situations. Not proud of it

 

[I Me & Myself]

I roleplay. A lot. I love roleplaying, and when no one does it with me I roleplay with ai. Not too proud of that last part, but it's nice. Try it out (with real ppl first, it's more fun with real people). Many people have (public) discord communities for roleplay

Also feeding ducks is a seriously underrated pasttime. Get some frozen peas and feed ducks, if you can.