Help what do i do

[ScaredCutter]

Since yesterday, i was told to start helping myself instead of only focusing on my bf's problems (he agrees too). but, i dont know where or how to start because theres so much i want to do but i cant do it because i hardly have enough motivation and energy to even try hard enough.

i could try to list some things going on currently and stuff i want to do.

these are currently;
- practicing making resumes
- study more into cats
- having tafe next yr for an animal studies certificate
- looking as to where to volunteer for work experience

these are things i want to do but unable to;
- lose weight
- seeking for a psychologist/psycharatrist
- learn drums
- work on my social anxiety
- work on communication skills
- trying to understand my emotions better
- have self confidence
- get a job


there might be more but, idk. i dont remember a lot of what i bring up. i do want friends but, i dont know how to keep any because i start to think that im diverting my attention and time away from my bf so i just refuse to have any for that reason. im always stuck on what to do because whats currently happening is mostly because it was schedulded and done in advance (tafe and making resumes). i usually rely on a layout type of thing, like a school list thing (idk the name).

idk what to do or if its even possible because im usually lazy, unmotivated and have no energy for what i shoudl really be doing.
​

 

[U. A.]

Maybe not framing things as "complete/incomplete" nor as "success/failure" would help (if you do that), as most of these are long term and even chipping away, doing a little of whichever thing on any given day, is progress. The fact that you have a tough time being motivated means just doing any work toward any of the things is success.

 

[hoppybunny]

These look like the three easiest thing to start with.

practicing making resumes
- study more into cats
- having tafe next yr for an animal studies certificate


Correct me if i'm wrong ofc.

My advice is to break these down into the smalles steps possible.

The volunteer one can also help with ur social anxiety goal. But u shouldn't worry about it rn cause u need to take baby steps.

U should do one of those at least. If u want to start being productive.

Also u may be having decisions paralysis. Too many options u want to do at once so u do none of them.

What i do is i put all my tasks om a wheel and spin and i just work on whatever it lands on. And if i don't like it I'll move it to the bottom of my priorities.

Just try ur best to focus on at least one task.

 

[martyrdom]

As others said, break these down into tiny steps. Such as "do 1 google search about local volunteering" - that tiny. It will seem less insurmountable and any progress will be better than none. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good and so on

 

[ScaredCutter]

These look like the three easiest thing to start with.

practicing making resumes
- study more into cats
- having tafe next yr for an animal studies certificate


Correct me if i'm wrong ofc.

My advice is to break these down into the smalles steps possible.

The volunteer one can also help with ur social anxiety goal. But u shouldn't worry about it rn cause u need to take baby steps.

U should do one of those at least. If u want to start being productive.

Also u may be having decisions paralysis. Too many options u want to do at once so u do none of them.

What i do is i put all my tasks om a wheel and spin and i just work on whatever it lands on. And if i don't like it I'll move it to the bottom of my priorities.

Just try ur best to focus on at least one task.

i see, thank you so much.
im enrolled for tafe next year and i start in feb i believe. i suck at studying and practicing doing resumes because i get pretty bored and do other things. once i remember what im supposed to do, i just think "i'll do it tmrw" and its the same story. i just push things until its too late to do it and its a bad habit of mine, i used to do homework on the very last of the last few hours or purposely look up answers or not even do what im supposed to do. i also take things really slow sometimes, so i barely get shit done.

As others said, break these down into tiny steps. Such as "do 1 google search about local volunteering" - that tiny. It will seem less insurmountable and any progress will be better than none. Don't let the perfect be the enemy of the good and so on

would it be like doing small amount of things each day to contribute to a certain task? i never really planned things out in my life since im used to how things are structured in schools and also being watched to know if im working which can put some pressure on me but, at least id get something done.
thank you though!

 

[hoppybunny]

i see, thank you so much.
im enrolled for tafe next year and i start in feb i believe. i suck at studying and practicing doing resumes because i get pretty bored and do other things. once i remember what im supposed to do, i just think "i'll do it tmrw" and its the same story. i just push things until its too late to do it and its a bad habit of mine, i used to do homework on the very last of the last few hours or purposely look up answers or not even do what im supposed to do. i also take things really slow sometimes, so i barely get shit done.

would it be like doing small amount of things each day to contribute to a certain task? i never really planned things out in my life since im used to how things are structured in schools and also being watched to know if im working which can put some pressure on me but, at least id get something done.
thank you though!

As matyrdom said u need to break it down into tasks so small there's no way u wouldn't do it. You've already done it unconsciously. For instance if you broke down get a job into steps, fixing ur resume, studying cat, volunteering and getting a cert are all actuallt smaller steps of getting a job. So now we need to broke those down even more.



I'll use practice making resume for instance.

Steps

1. Find out the exact role i want to make a resume for (i.e vet, vet tech, etc)
2. Google examples of resumes in the role
3. Watch a youtube video on someone with a resume for that specific role and how it got them a job (you need to be very specific with these steps to avoid finding a reason to procastinate. Which is why i said "a" video instead of some videos. You can change the number but it needs to be exact.)
4. Find a resume template
5. Recreate a template in a doc editor (don't use templates as is sometimes job scanning systems might not be able to understand the formatting on resumes and will toss it out instead. So making urs from scratch prevents any weird formatting issues)
6. Fill out your template with your own education and experience.

So now it's 6 manageable steps and u can make each step into smaller a steps if these 6 are still too big. Juat don't brean down steps so much that you're writing steps like breathe in and breath out cause that's just procrastination.


I reccomend looking into how to make proper to do lists, and how to schedule ur day and read this if u can:

Procrastination Self-Help Resources - Information Sheets & Workbooks

Self-help resources for procrastination, written by clinical psychologists at the Centre for Clinical Interventions in Perth, Western Australia.

www.cci.health.wa.gov.au