What did you do from the time you woke up till now?

[WitheringAway]

someone came along and gave me a 3 minute hug and now I guess I'm ok.

I love this

Woke up, texted my dealer and got the reply that he won't have anything for days to come, thought about killing myself immediately, checked this site, walked the dog, had lunch twice, watched some you-tube, since there aren't any drugs I used the money to buy snacks and sweets, wrote my 200th post (this one)...

And only a few years back I used to work from dawn till dusk, while going out every Friday and Saturday... with money, looks, health, girls, everything a 30-yo can wish for.

How life can change overnight...

Whats changed? Are you unemployed rn? Cus me too

Woke up late, tried to calm a relative down from another relative's manipulate toxicity. Had a fight with a roomie from not cleaning, swept the floor. Now I'm moping on the couch about my life and scrolling through this forum. I might go to a park or the gym just to distract myself.

Irresponsible roommates can drive you crazy. Literally. Especially the ones who don't take care of their OWN hygiene. I know from experience.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

woke up, took some pills, smoked a few cigs, went to the bathroom, watched a special on ted bundy, played with my dog and now this.

 

[MichaelNomad123]

Slept in, got up and made 2 cups of tea, browsed the news, ran myself a bath and soaked for like an hour. Sat down and drank tea until it was time to make myself some dinner. Broccoli. I fried that bad boy up with olive oil and salt. Tasty. Now I'm posting here and listening to metal. That's pretty much my whole day and won't deviate from this very much. I'm just killing time until I start my new job next week and eventually move out so I can paint until I drop dead.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Usual morning routine. Then I went to get some flytipped compost + pearlite, followed by a short expedition to pick-up some soil, only to get there and realise I'd already mined it out. On the way back I stopped to chat to the old lady who sits outside her house to talk to passersby like me (she's shielding and lonely). I didn't get to see the friendly cat that usually comes and says hello unfortunately. Then I went and got some of the huge ornamental grass from the back field. Finished by replenishing my soil stores from the bank plot.

 

[WitheringAway]

Woke up motivated by my new coffee maker.. made a hazelnut latte with toast and jam. Had a quick rundown on the news. Steamed my face and put on a mask. Did some meditation while the mask was drying off. Took a shower. Watched a documentary about the murder of poor shanda sharer (heavy case!! I'm surprised I had never heard about it considering I'm subscribed to 10+ true crime channels on YouTube) went to get my laptop from the guy who was fixing it. Stopped to get donuts. Called my sis. Played a game. Made dinner for the fam. Now ss time then bed. It's 12:46 midnight

 

[Worthless_nobody]

Cried my eyes out, stuffed food in my mouth because it's all that make me feel anymore, took lots of benzos and more crying..back in bed

 

[http-410]

I spent the day pretending to be alive.

 

[Nymph]

I woke up to the start of my online lessons which I had from 8am to about 15 pm, had breakfast, played animal crossing, watched YouTube, talked to some people on discord, visited Instagram and Reddit, helped make pancakes, ate pancakes, did homework, showered, went on this site, sleep.. that's just because we have online school right now, otherwise I'd be way more busier. Quarantine has been positive for me personally, since I'm so anti social and have anxiety I prefer to stay at home and since I don't work I'm able to actually be at home and quarantine
If I do have regular school I usually wake up at 6am and have to prepare to go to school, I feel empty and depressed the whole day and leave the class during breaks to go to the bathroom and self harm because I'm filled with negativity. I come back home at 7pm only to be able to just eat dinner-shower-sleep and repeat. I go to art school and the hours are extremely long and plus my parents force me to go to Chinese lessons after school. So I have no time for myself, the time I spend with myself doing what I love is the only thing keeping me alive, when you take that away from me the only answer is ctb.. when everything is back to normal I'll probably kill myself. I don't want to live like that again

 

[TheSoulless]

Woke up at 15.00, played WoW, bought pizza and ate it, then back to gaming. I'm on holiday so my sleep schedule's a mess.

 

[Lostandlooking]

This is going to be a vent because oh boy.. what a day. But I'll try to keep it short. First I had to inform when I'll have my first appointment with a new therapist. This is going to be the end of november. Then I had to inform with some people about getting some extra time for applying for benefits because I'm breaking down so much and I basically cannot handle any stress. Had to wait for them to call back. I'm pretty much paralysed when I know someone's going to call me back but I don't know when. So they finally called and I can't get extra time. If i take longer they have a right to sanction me. Felt awful and pressured and panicked. I cried, decided to drink some wine. Ate an entire bag of chips. Got more upset. Proceeded to self harm because I was once again losing my shit. Lots of staring at my computer screen. I tried playing a game called FTL. But didn't get very far as I couldn't focus. I emailed my coach about the situation and what we should do next. I also messaged her and told her how upset I was. She talked to me on the phone and managed to calm me down a bit. I had my dinner and some more wine. Collapsed on the bed and slept for about an hour. Still felt awful. Decided to watch a movie. Now I'm just wondering. How long will this go on? Is there a solution, I'm really tired from the things that have been happening lately. Just don't want to think anymore. Took a sleepingpill and hopefully will get some sleep and feel a bit better in the morning.
Could use a hug.

 

[AJ95]

4:20pm atm

Got up, talked to the police who were at my door, talked to my parents, had a shower, had breakfast, went and saw my psychiatrist, came home.

That's about it so far lol

 

[http-410]

I went cycling in the forest. Along the way, I saw three horses very close behind a fence. They just stood there, like rooted to the spot. I stopped and we just looked at each other. I guess they were freezing... One of them came closer and I reached out to touch it, but I was too afraid and didn't.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I've been listening to a few songs on repeat for the past few hours.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I've been cleaning. I'm so tired lol. Cleaned the bathroom, cat box, and part of my room....and I'm so worn out I could take a nap.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I've been cleaning. I'm so tired lol. Cleaned the bathroom, cat box, and part of my room....and I'm so worn out I could take a nap.

I've been planning to clean for the past 6 hours.

 

[Good4Nothing]

I've been planning to clean for the past 6 hours.

I've been planning to clean for the past 2 months.

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

I've been planning to clean for the past 2 months.

I've been planning for 2 weeks, but in the last 6 hours planning became more intense.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

@mahakali88 @Good4Nothing You guys crack me up. I was "planning" to clean for 3 or 4 months... Bit the bullet and started with my many prescription bottles, just kinda kept going from there.

 

[WitheringAway]

Woke up, made my coffee, went to work, worked, cried on my break with a croissant and tea, worked, got home, took the trash out, played some depressing country music in the background while cleaning around the house and crying some more.. now here with a beer...

 

[mahakaliSS_MahaDurga]

Woke up, made my coffee, went to work, worked, cried on my break with a croissant and tea, worked, got home, took the trash out, played some depressing country music in the background while cleaning around the house and crying some more.. now here with a beer...

I sometimes cry in my car on my way to work.

 

[Isadeth]

Woke up about an hour ago 0900. That's really late to sleep in for me, so half the day feels wasted. Made coffee, drank coffee, smoked a cigarette and about to sit outside for a bit. Maybe I'll hang Christmas lights today. I doubt it, but it sounds like a good idea. I hung a wreath, so I'm attempting to be festive.

 

[WornOutLife]

I woke up at 8am. Had some "mate" (argentine drink similar to tea). Then, I studied japanese for some hours and now I'm feeling suicidal and cursed as usual.
Hate my schizophrenic and agressive mother, hate having no freedom because of my failed CTB attempt, hate life.

Afterwards, I'll feel a bit better and keep on studying and browsing SS and possibly, buy a lot of alcohol because I'll be miraculously alone until tomorrow. #TimeToGetDrunkAF

 

[Isadeth]

I woke up at 8am. Had some "mate" (argentine drink similar to tea). Then, I studied japanese for some hours and now I'm feeling suicidal and cursed as usual.
Hate my schizophrenic and agressive mother, hate having no freedom because of my failed CTB attempt, hate life.

The discipline to sit and learn a new language is inspiring. I am trying to be fluent in Spanish and finding the motivation most days is awful.

 

[WornOutLife]

The discipline to sit and learn a new language is inspiring. I am trying to be fluent in Spanish and finding the motivation most days is awful.

So true!
Truth be told, I tried to learn japanese 10 years ago and I quit. Then the same situation happened some years ago.
However, this year was different in that aspect and I've been learning constantly since April! It's the only thing I love and feel proud of lol.

 

[Isadeth]

So true!
Truth be told, I tried to learn japanese 10 years ago and I quit. Then the same situation happened some years ago.
However, this year was different in that aspect and I've been learning constantly since April! It's the only thing I love and feel proud of lol.

I've been trying to learn Spanish since I was in 5th grade haha I'm not awful... but I could absolutely be better.

That's so awesome you've been holding steady in learning since April! You have every right to feel proud. Hell I'm proud of you too!

 

[http-410]

Surprisingly I slept ok - except for waking up once due to a nightmare and to change my sweat-soaked shirt. Cancelled my last therapy appointment for this year and went straight to the train tracks. Felt numb all day, but calmer. Experiencing memory gaps and spacing out for weeks, but I don't care anymore.

 

[NightmareTour]

Drank a few cups of coffee, smoked a few cigarettes, checked on my games, checked SS, already got bored of being awake. Now I guess I just repeat, eat something at some point, watch some TV and wait until its time to go back to sleep.

 

[CyanideSoup]

I woke up and listened to the rain for a bit. Made myself some breakfast and listened to music. And now it's 4pm and I have a half eaten soggy bowl of cereal on my lap so I don't know where the times gone.

 

[Mixo]

Was woken up repeatedly by my abuser, but managed to sleep a decent amount. I woke up, went to the loo, got hooked up to my medical device and after about 15 min, made myself a sandwich. They came in here, argued with me about chores and then threatened me to leave the flat and stay in a hotel. When I refused (due to illness), they threatened to have the landlord kick me out. Now I'm looking up flights to get the hell out of here once and for all. And of course, SS.

 

[stygal]

Got myself ready and went to work.
Had a nap after work.
Went outside and to the shops.
Ate a veggie stew.
And now I'm typing this