What Could Have Been

[vanillamilkshakes]

Does anyone else spend most of their time dwelling on how everything could have turned out differently? I don't understand how my life turned out this way, what path I took that led to this. I was an extroverted kid- not sure how I came to be so socially anxious and alone.

I mourn that version of myself that could be happy.

 

[shampoo sniffer]

Yes, it's a kind of grief and it never goes away.

 

[kitkat9234]

Every waking moment. Wishing I could go back and change things. The guilt and regret of my past shitty decisions eat me up inside. I'm constantly reminded of my fuck ups.

 

[R-7]

Jeez, like all the time.

What if X person wasn't terrible to me?
What if Y terrible event didn't derail my life?
What if Z aspect of my life was totally different?

It's easy for your brain to go there if it's prone to depressive thoughts I think.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Are you sure it was ever possible? Are you sure there really is a "better"? For me, I don't believe that. This is the way things are, there is no "could have been better".

 

[uchuunekoko]

Yes, very often. However, I've stuck with the idea that I would've ended up just as miserable or broken no matter what happened to me. Most of the time it feels like I was born to be miserable and suffer no matter what I do

 

[persepexa]

Does anyone else spend most of their time dwelling on how everything could have turned out differently? I don't understand how my life turned out this way, what path I took that led to this. I was an extroverted kid- not sure how I came to be so socially anxious and alone.

I mourn that version of myself that could be happy.

I've been feeling that a lot actually. All the places I would have liked to go to, people I could have known, things I could have done. How did I ever let me life turn out like this?

 

[einsam]

It becomes a vicious cycle. The more life regrets you have, the more you ruminate on them. The more time you waste ruminating, the more regrets pile up. It's hard to break the cycle even when you know it's what you have to do.

 

[vorteksrbija]

The most important factor in life is luck. Actually is crucially. But not the luck that you were born in wealth family or to won a lottery of 50 million. It is the environment. The whole environment. Where will you be born, who are your parents, will you have enough money for some middle class life since childhood, do parents love you, are they capable to raise you, do they even want you. The real luck is to have an "average" opportunity like the majority, that you are healthy. And when it comes to health there is physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and most important-identity health. To be who you are, because man can be happy only if he can express to him and others, that what he is, whatever is that. You cannot choose or know what will happen in your life. But to have a control and responsibility over your life-that is a real treasure. To have a chance. Things you cannot control will control you. That is okay, if they are minor,but if they leave no exit for you, then you must find a way out all alone yourself, and there is only one

 

[Aloneandinpain]

Are you sure it was ever possible? Are you sure there really is a "better"? For me, I don't believe that. This is the way things are, there is no "could have been better".

I think things might have gone bad eventually but there's so many things I never got to experience. Even if they were below average or a bit disappointing it would be better than a lifetime of lowliness and nothing where every day is always the same.,

 

[Eudaimonic]

Yes, I have difficulty accepting that things went this awry.

 

[vanillamilkshakes]

Are you sure it was ever possible? Are you sure there really is a "better"? For me, I don't believe that. This is the way things are, there is no "could have been better".

In my rational mind my beliefs are more like yours. I guess it's the human instinct of hope that leads me to fantasise otherwise.

The most important factor in life is luck. Actually is crucially. But not the luck that you were born in wealth family or to won a lottery of 50 million. It is the environment. The whole environment. Where will you be born, who are your parents, will you have enough money for some middle class life since childhood, do parents love you, are they capable to raise you, do they even want you. The real luck is to have an "average" opportunity like the majority, that you are healthy. And when it comes to health there is physical, emotional, psychological, spiritual and most important-identity health. To be who you are, because man can be happy only if he can express to him and others, that what he is, whatever is that. You cannot choose or know what will happen in your life. But to have a control and responsibility over your life-that is a real treasure. To have a chance. Things you cannot control will control you. That is okay, if they are minor,but if they leave no exit for you, then you must find a way out all alone yourself, and there is only one

Beautifully said.

 

[MyShadow]

Does anyone else spend most of their time dwelling on how everything could have turned out differently? I don't understand how my life turned out this way, what path I took that led to this. I was an extroverted kid- not sure how I came to be so socially anxious and alone. I mourn that version of myself that could be happy.

I lost everything last year and have been forced to deal with it every day. Learning that the people who I loved would lie to and ultimately betray me was something I was not prepared for. That pain still resonates.

The takeaway and the lesson came after the fact. I learned that I dodged a bullet but needed to go through a painful lesson to separate from them. In the end, I learned that leaving saved me from continued betrayals.

 

[TBONTB]

Every waking moment. Wishing I could go back and change things. The guilt and regret of my past shitty decisions eat me up inside. I'm constantly reminded of my fuck ups.

100 percent

 

[WrathfulGloom32]

I'm here .

I too mourn my child self that got abused in numerous ways, at least I developed a sense of being weary about people if I can ever get the will to live again. But I do appreciate people more and can understand their pain easier this way at least, maybe I would have been an awful person otherwise (doubtful tho since I was an extremely kind child)

 

[blacksand]

I think a lot about working with a girl from 6 years ago who I really liked (at the time platonically) and we got on well and I know she was single. Thats the most recent pivot and further back its just nonstop regret.

 

[memento-mori]

same. i spend a lot of time thinking about that.
such as what could have i done differently.
things outside my influence that could have changed the trajectory of my life.
if i was born in the past, or in the future.
if i was born or brought up in a different place.
if i went to a different school.
if i was born with different parents in a different family.
there's many things i think about.

 

[mourningyesterday]

eats at me all the time but im trying my best not to think abt it cus looking back hurts too much seeing how bad im stuck now

 

[Raindancer]

For me it goes in cycles. But yes, it always circles back.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I wonder about it sometimes but then, I also wonder if I would be any happier. I think things would have to have taken a substantially different path for them to have ended well for me. My Mum dying when I was 3 changed everything.

That weirdly gives me more of a sense of certainty when it comes to suicide though. That there is in fact no other happy ending for me. So- it's the right choice for me.