Being made feel like I'm not good enough in my own eyes and standards despite working hard for it hits me the hardest. I think it comes from my ego and sense of entitlement (if others can do it why can't you?), makes me feel like I'm some sort of failed specimen and don't deserve to live.
for eg, flunking a test / interview that I studied hard for but everyone around me does well somehow, not being able to understand solutions, failing at my relationships
my psychologist made me do some test and apparently I apply this same lens onto everyone else. I easily get frustrated when people seem to lack common sense……
if it's my fault, I will go into a cycle of self blame and reflection. Depending on how "severe" the mistake is, I may inflict self punishment to remind myself not to make that mistake again. Mistakes in this world are often too costly and most people are not that forgiving ……….
if someone else is being not good enough, I'll be harsh to them and try to remind them that Google exists
