What are your top 3 reasons for ctb?

[_Minsk]

I can only name one thing atm, which is health issues. This world is full of people that go through health issues, some even at the beginning of their life.

I had a good childhood, even though it might be considered a normal one to others. Still I appreciated it.
Then my health started to go downhill..
I know how it feels to be mainly healthy. Stuff just works, social stuff, friendships, school (mostly)..

When youre depressed and your health sucks, some might slowly notice how everything goes downhill. Friendships slowly fall apart, just to name one thing.

Work/school gets harder.. etc.
So that's been my experience and one of my top 3 reasons. Curious about yours.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

1. I genuinely h8 being a person. i h8 getting hungry & having to feed myself. i h8 having to engage in meaningless social norms. i h8 having to clean my space & myself. i h8 shopping. i h8 having to pick things to wear & then put them on my body. & ofc i h8 all the things that come w being a human, such as work & rent & things.

2. isolation/other ppl. i've been alone for 6 yrs, no friends irl or online. after year 2 the yearning for human connection left, & never returned. it's helped me see that 98% of the populace are boring, unoriginal, hypocritical, cruel/mean, & not smart. & usually proud of it, to make it worse. every person i meet unfortunately proves this right.

3. no reprieve. i think most ppl aren't able to kts bc their life is up & down, some good mixed in w the shit, so they can see how there's maybe a balance/it can be worth it. well, the last decade of my life has been legit nothing but devolvement. just getting significantly worse & worse, w little to no reprieve. need to free myself from it.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Just the fact that I suffer from merely existing is enough of a reason for me. And, no, I'm not talking about something severe like chronic pain. I'm talking about just being a human and suffering from life's responsibilities and being forced to work. Additionally, I suffer from my own ineptitude as I'm unable to adequately communicate to others and hence I lived my entire life without ever having made a friend. Not to mention that I have no pleasure to anything because that's just how my brain is. For me, merely being a human is reason enough for me to want to CTB

 

[doormat25]

Grief
nightmares/dreams
living in fear

 

[sorlox]

1. pointlessness of life - i can't find neither joy and happiness, nor goals to achieve.
2. cruelty of people - everyday i'm feeling like a hedgehog in the middle of wolf pack. They can't get me, if i keep my needles sharp, but that constant fear is tearing me apart.
3. self hatred - everytime i make something stupid or vile, even unintetionally, i'm breaking myself down.

maybe i'm mentally ill, but that is that.

 

[FuneralCry]

1. Because of the burdensome nature of existence, I don't see any value in being enslaved in the decaying and harmful flesh prison that is the human body, existence truly is just a process of slowly dying all while one suffers to try and fufill needs in the process that were all futile and unnecessary in the first place. In fact all existence does is create problems there was never a need for.

2. Because in existence there is immense potential for suffering and this to me is why suicide is very rational. The non-existent cannot suffer, they have no need for anything, in fact ceasing to exist solves everything, yet as long as one exists there is no limit as to how much one can be tormented.
I'd always prefer the peace of eternal sleep over having the ability to suffer, in fact I find it such a horrific tragedy how life even existed at all. Consciousness is an abomination to me, and existence is just useless and meaningless suffering. It's like a virus how humans continue to impose existence just continuing this endless cycle of suffering and torment.
3. I don't see anything appealing about deteriorating from age in an existence that was very undesirable in the first place, in fact it terrifies me how a human can potentially exist for so long. Reaching very old age just sounds beyond hellish to me.

 

[thirdrailer]

My own gender dysphoria. Not every trans person has the "my body is incorrect and I hate it" experience but I do. But I've also internalized the idea that trans people are broken at best and unlearning that is proving nearly impossible.

The callous indifference most people have to the suffering of others. So many movements of people saying "help, we're suffering" while most of the world refuses to even hear them.

My own stifled creativity in a world that pushes economic productivity to funnel more and more money away from people who need it most.

 

[throneofdispair03]

1.) it's pointless.
2.) i hate myself
3.) it's gonna happen anyway, why prolong the suffering

 

[sewycidial]

I can only name one thing atm, which is health issues. This world is full of people that go through health issues, some even at the beginning of their life.

I had a good childhood, even though it might be considered a normal one to others. Still I appreciated it.
Then my health started to go downhill..
I know how it feels to be mainly healthy. Stuff just works, social stuff, friendships, school (mostly)..

When youre depressed and your health sucks, some might slowly notice how everything goes downhill. Friendships slowly fall apart, just to name one thing.

Work/school gets harder.. etc.
So that's been my experience and one of my top 3 reasons. Curious about yours.

1. No family
2. Mental health issues that lead me to jail and homeless
3. can't get a job or a gf

 

[numbed one]

Jobless
Fear of the futur ( being Homeless)
Nothing to eat

 

[uzuf86]

1) Mental Health issues that ruined me
2) Guilt
3) Too many regrets

 

[annointed_towers]

I blasphemed God in a moment of rage and have been cursed with the feeling of worms in my head

I lost my job and career due to it and homelessness is looming

I will never get to pursue my passions and potential due to it

 

[EvisceratedJester]

1. I'm a complete burden on those around me and my existence has only caused harm to everyone who has ever crossed paths with me.

2. I completely loathe myself. I've never liked myself. There isn't much to like.

3. I am tired of existing. I'm expected to adhere to social standards, beauty standards, be successful, etc, and for what? I'm going to die. Death is inevitable. I'm tired of being alive. I'm tired of having to deal with all the expectations put on me by those my family, society, and just life as a whole. Existence is just exhausting and pointless. I don't want to continue on with existing. The idea of being forced to grow old and having to continue enduring all of this makes me feel miserable. I want out.

 

[hopelessgirl]

I hate my past, my present and my future

 

[Forever Sleep]

- I can't see myself being able to financially support myself doing the job I want to do. I'm not willing to be a wage slave again.

- I definitely want to end it before I get debilitating health issues. This would make it difficult to work and due to the above- I'll need to work to earn money- quite probably in to old age.

- My trigger point would be having to see a (suspected) narcissist from my childhood again. They were the reason I became suicidal to begin with. Faced with that- I'd rather just CTB to avoid that and the above.

So mine is more CTB to save myself a horrible future! Things are tolerable at the moment but have the potential to become so much worse very quickly.

 

[DesperateOne]

I can only name one thing atm, which is health issues. This world is full of people that go through health issues, some even at the beginning of their life.

I had a good childhood, even though it might be considered a normal one to others. Still I appreciated it.
Then my health started to go downhill..
I know how it feels to be mainly healthy. Stuff just works, social stuff, friendships, school (mostly)..

When youre depressed and your health sucks, some might slowly notice how everything goes downhill. Friendships slowly fall apart, just to name one thing.

Work/school gets harder.. etc.
So that's been my experience and one of my top 3 reasons. Curious about yours.

1. Severe isolation
2. Mental illness
3. A childhood that was ridden with anxiety and panic

I just want peace.

 

[BadChanges]

1. The juice isn't worth the squeeze.

 

[bluebird16]

1. Depression
2. Tinnitus
3. Bad decisions

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I won't post any personal reasons but I'll post some reasons I think life is bad for all humans and all sentient creatures
1. unbearable pain is possible as long as a sentient creature exists . every day they take that risk unbeknownst to them because imo most don't realize how bad pain can be and that it could happen to them any day. imo unbearable pain has to be avoided at all costs. .they call it "unbearable " because pain is so bad the victim can't bear it another second , can't tolerate it , it's intolerable. and the horror is that it could last a long time not just fleeting as most pleasures are.
2. Every human and other animal ages gets old decays. imo old age must be avoided at all costs also. that every animal gets old makes life bad.
3. too much labor for too little reward. high maintenence burdensome. daily suffering for no purpose. life is meaningless. the bad things outweigh the good.
you said only 3 . i have a 100 more each could be a chapter in a book.

But one of my reasons not the top but I hate being a slave to this body , a slave to this society and to the government , a slave to needs wants concsiouness and a prisoner a slave to these addictions , this life was imposed on me and it's a prison , this world is evil an imposition. rhetoric foisted on me etc. non-existence is what I want.

 

[BlazingBob]

Health problems, health problems, and health problems. Did I mention health problems? Life without health is not worth living. The exhaustion and disrupted sleep because of my health problems are my #1 reason for ctb.

 

[Christian1986]

1.Toxic/Narcisstic Abusive Family ( im the Blacksheep )

2. Tinnitus

3. Depression

 

[VeryShy]

1) Severe mental illness

2) Alone. No friends

3) Poverty

 

[Nothing87]

1. Past Mistakes

2. Addiction

3. My existence

 

[Liamm]

1. My main reason is clinical anxiety/ptsd/depression/ocd. I was sexually assaulted by a close friend, and some other things happened. I literally freak out if I am around too many men, or even just in a room alone with one. And it only really got worse after going through treatment for a year. Nightmares are fun. And constant guilt tripping goes crazy.

2. Gender dysphoria, while in a straight marriage and religious. Speaks for itself. I refuse to look at mirrors or really take care of this body that I cant make myself love.

3. Isolation. Due to some of my wifes insecurities, I've had to cut off many childhood friends. And it is hard to spend time with the ones I have left due to the same fact. I've actually just given up on having friends. To expand on that, after having a certain close friend I made recently abuse me while I was drunk, I found it very hard to trust people. So I relied on my childhood friends, who I've literally seen grow up because I thought I could trust them. But due to my wifes insecurities of me being closer to them than her, I've been forced to cut them off.

3.5 This is an issue in the first place because I cant talk to her without being belittled or yelled at. I tried, for years, to explain that how she talks to me hurts my feelings. Every time she would either get angry with me/ argue, or play victim. And so, I gave up on having a close relationship with her. It never mattered that I controlled my words to the best of my ability, or that I never yelled at her, or that I tried my hardest to be as understanding. I simply felt unheard and uncared for. And I've told her in and out of couples therapy but no one but myself seems capable of change.

4. Bonus. She recently(few days ago) acknowledged all of this for once. And Im supposed to just accept this. After years and a long time of this, Im supposed to be ok with this. I don't want to open up to her, nor anyone else. Well, i don't have anyone else anymore. Regardless, Im done. I'm "supposed" to continue being a good husband after this, be a loving and functioning member of society. i'm done. Its like a few years too late. And im a fucking shitty husband for that.

Every single time she asked me to change something or do something I've done it without question. Everytime the couples therapist gave me a task or explained how I could be a better husband I did it. I would ask her regularly how I could be better, what she needed from me, how I could support her. And without question I would do it. Because I wanted to be a better man than my father, and my step father. Im not the best husband. I wouldn't even say Im a good husband but i tried my damn hardest. But it never mattered as there was always something new for me to start working on, because i am never good enough. Never enough. Im honestly convinced Im just the shittiest person in the world, married to an infallible woman. And im done.

That's why I want to kill myself. I miss my damn fucking friends. They were the best fucking people I've ever met. I don't give a damn that one was a witch and another one a lesbian. They were the best fucking people i knew-- and I've met many other religious people. Ill always love them.

 

[newjourney]

1. No purpose

2. World is shit and full of evil people (including family/friends)

3. Can't live a normal life

 

[lost_ange2211]

Why do you need a list of reasons? Seems like justification. It's your own choice in my opinion.

Critical question: What's your reason to be alive?

 

[nymb]

1. I am in a situtation i cant really back to function great again, i dont wanna be a weight for people.

2. I dont wanna function again anyway

 

[Final-push123]

For me it's a few things

1.climate collapse - the climate is changing to be completely unsuitable for human or other animal life. Seeing scores of people and animals died from extreme weather (heat waves/wet bulbs being a huge one), the coming food shortages and the general agony of a collective slow death.

2. Mass delusion and the madness of crowds - while everything in the natural world is going to shit, people and nations around the world are reverting back to tribalistic animals. Where the mass of people blame the others(often the minority of the society, but it also be the under class as well) instead of the greedy shit heads that sold out the world for cash and power(corporates and government). Often when things get materially rough in a real sense people collective huddle around a strong man that will promise them the world while telling the masses to do all matter of evil to the people that strong man deemed responsible and undesirables. Might and strength makes right rules the world while Reason, compassion and rationality draws it's last breaths.

3.mad max, brace new world,1984, etc- the people that will be left will live a life that make the series I mentioned above seem like Disneyland. A world full of famine, madness, sickness, despair and death. No place to go for clean food, water or air on the planet earth. Weather events that kills millions every year. And violent gangs rape and pillage what left until the planet globally reach a point where all life fall into permanent stillness.

Considering all that(and more) i see no real reason to stick around. Most of my close family is dead, no gf(yes yes I know I am not entitled to love, pls shut up) and I am too tired to socialize with friends I have left anymore.

I just sticking around, trying to do all the stuff I wanted to do until shit hit the fan. Then I gonna take fent and drift off into the abyss.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

My 3 top reasons to consider CTB:

1. Health issues that can lead to an unbearable life
2. Failure in life
3. Poverty

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

1. Mental illness
2. Being a failure in general
3. Health issues