Top Reason why people want to CTB

[sadbh]

My top reason for CTBing? I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a wageslave.

Same. I feel like my choices are work or die, and no one around me seems to get it.

 

[endboss]

I lived a happy life before until tinnitus robbed my life and turned it 360 degree, if you don't know what it feels like, just imagine having a phone ringing tone in your head or ear 24 hours non stop, it's a horrible medical condition that medical proffesional brush off and do not consider as an acute condition, it's worse than cancer.

I agree, it's worse than cancer.

 

[Unlucky777]

Existence and fighting the rat race is pointless in itself and I would like to opt out from this game world. I don't give a fuck about being happy or sad I just want to be gone from here. Period.

Existence is meaningless and pointless. There is no purpose to any of this shit. I'm not depressed or anything. I think most people would kill to have my life (and I would happily give them everything I own) in exchange to get the fuck out of this place. There is nothing in this world I want except to not exist and unfortunately death is the only thing to truly escape this world

 

[Dinozauria]

My reasons are:

1. The future. It genuinely sounds dreadful. I don't think there's any place for me in a capitalist society where I have to work until I'm in my mid sixties. I've tried to think of ways that I can make it work but I can't (other then suddenly finding myself with lots of money but I don't see that happening ever lol)

2. I'm a horrible/useless person. I've done so many bad things I give up on trying to be good. I'm also insanely lazy. It isn't even funny at this point. I can do things normally, but I just won't. Death is the best option left for me, as I don't see much of an irl redemption arc coming my way. It'd probably be more "healthy" to move past my regrets but it's 1000 times easier said then done

3. Now, my most classic reason, suffering. I'd give a lil rant but I fear a lot of people on here know this reason all too well

4. There's no reason to keep living. There's no magical rule that says you can't kill yourself. Sure, it's selfish, but there's no reason other then to live for the benefit of others (at least in my case; obviously people can find reasons to live within themselves, but I cannot)

 

[bpdscared9]

I have multiple reasons for it. Mostly my disorders has been making my life miserable since I was a pre-teen. However, I don't blame myself for them since the harm was caused for an evil being while I was a child!

Although, one of my main reasons is: I'm very much tired and not in the 'I really wanna end things and go on', it's mostly because I've been dedicated my life into helping others without no restrain or respect for myself. You can call it a savior complex if you wish and I will agree with you. But I always thought that it'd be very much nice CTB as a form of reward for all my hard work towards others since I've been here for many, many years helping people without asking in return for anything, it's a free help!

Besides of my complex, I only have a few small reasons why I am still alive and yet I'm sticking to them until the very end as a form of protest against myself and my urges which is quite hypocritical because I know I will CTB at the end but I like very much sometimes tricking myself into it. I'm also very mentally unstable, I wouldn't be able to form a proper family with children and more and I will barely gonna make it out of college in some years, so it's not like I have big chances or opportunities in life. Reaching my peace is my last selfish desire in life!

 

[witchcraft]

My top reason for CTBing? I don't want to spend the rest of my life being a wageslave.

 

[baller]

for me

I kinda have no incentive to live, im aroace so theres no want to have a partner and a family, so if i stay alive, i can spend the rest of my life with a job thats definitely going to get stolen by AI

I hate being autistic as well, ill never fit in, i'll lose my friends and family because im incompetent.

also holy fuck im tired

 

[thehorizons]

I agree, it's worse than cancer.

That's variable. I have oral cancer and post-acute withdrawal syndrome induced by benzos. I also have tinnitus.

 

[deadpool55]

Being damaged by the medical field in the form of forced antipsychotics injections, pressuming I was psychotic and instable, Which in fact is just bullshit. However, and as I predicted when they first wanted me to eat their fucking trash pills, they destroyed my body and specially my brain and the nervios system. I am now 24/7 in a blank mind state with little potency stimulus and emotions or feelings. Just totally apathic and unmotivated with very very low will power to even make a basic decision like living. They are disgusting, everyone from the mental health system should live What i am living in order to know the huge piece of shit they truly are for ending peoples lifes in such manners. I wish they get mutilated and castrated as I am so they can asimílate a small % of the pain they have made me endure for 3 years now and counting! The effects of the poison is just forever. I have left them more than one time and for long periodos and they just dont go away. Its excruciating. I want to die asap!

 

[Scythe]

Top reasons I have encountered in no particular order
1. Trauma
2. Poverty, it's so hard to get out of poverty in a lot of countries these days especially thanks to covid.
3. Society's shit, don't wanna work, hate humans, stuff along that line

I'm in the 3rd category, humans suck, and if I have to slave away to a rich asshole who sees me as a number I'd rather just die.

 

[Bitch With An Apple]

I've ruined my life. It is completely my fault. I've been a coward, I've been nasty, I'm delusionally egotistical and pathologically lazy. Ruined every opportunity that I had. Hurt many people.

But also, I don't like how things are in life in general. These feelings have existed since I was young and there's an accompanying knowing that this is just how I am. I've had outsider syndrome since forever and it won't go away, even when others don't consider me one.

It probably sounds insultingly "first world problems" to anyone reading this (I'm a whiny cunt too, go figure) but the only thing that I think could make it all worth it is loving someone. That is impossible for me on many levels. Makes me want to just die in rare moments of lucidity where I see myself and my life for what they are.

 

[My_Own_Worst_Enemy]

Existence and fighting the rat race is pointless in itself and I would like to opt out from this game world

Relate heavily to this. I hate myself for not being strong enough to run the race, to have fallen this far behind. But I also hate the system that forces all of us to participate in the race in the first place.

I spent years at uni being depressed and stressed and barely managing exams. Now I'm finally out and I realize it's impossible to get a job here (Germany) unless you also spent your entire student life working on the side in relevant fields and gaining experience. As I'm no longer a student, I can't apply to any "student jobs" anymore, but I won't get accepted to any trainee programs or entrly level positions either. Not with the little amount of experience I have.

I hate this. I feel like I've failed my life before it's even really begun.

 

[CatsMeow]

1. Autism, I greatly struggle with having friends
2. SA, I got assaulted by my tutor and my university did nothing. All the older students are his friends and blame me, meaning I have an even harder time making friends
3. Chronic depression since 11
4. I'm too tired to work and the idea makes me feel hopeless
5. I don't want to grow old. I've worked in a nursing home, even if I did get old I wouldn't want to get that old that I'd be ill and stuck there
6. Nothing makes me happy nor excited anymore due to depression eating it away
7. I've tried medication, therapy, been hospitalized and none worked for me
8. My dad died when i was a kid and I barely have any family

 

[red_cardinal]

For me, it's trauma, mental illness, and suboptimal physical health. My C-PTSD is bad no matter what I do, and while I'm making progress, it's extremely slow, and I don't think it will make much difference long-term. I'm also unable to work right now, and I feel unfulfilled professionally. I'm also autistic, and I don't have anyone close in my life except one person. It gets lonely and alienating, and I've been trying to improve my situation for over a decade.

 

[singingcrow]

big hugs to everyone in this thread. it seems like everyone here has been through a lot my heart goes out to you all

 

[seasaltbutter]

other than nihilism and victim of SA who got blamed for not taking care of myself, i grew up in a toxic family, always reminded of being the unwanted child. mom won't abort because it's a sin.

i've always knew that my life will end on my own hands, so i've been living my life in preparation for my death. i didn't ask to be born, i won't ask to be death as well. life is truly pointless.