A
abel777
Member
- Dec 4, 2025
- 17
I used to believe in religion. as far as my life was going as I wanted it to, I attributed my successes and happiness to a divine power. I believed that god is actually up there helping me.
but the worse my life, the less my beliefs have become. misfortunes and sufferings happened to me one after another and in the end I told myself that a real god wouldn't want anyone to suffer like this.
despite all of these, when I began thinking of suicide, the thought of going to hell existed in my mind wether I wanted it or not. I still can't let it go. at one hand I've lost my faith, at other hand I tell myself what if hell is real? also I tell myself even if we assume that god and hell is real, why should I go to hell for doing something that doesn't harm anyone else and it's just for saving myself from suffering?
I keep switching between believing and disbelieving hell over and over and this just makes my insanity worse every time.
but the worse my life, the less my beliefs have become. misfortunes and sufferings happened to me one after another and in the end I told myself that a real god wouldn't want anyone to suffer like this.
despite all of these, when I began thinking of suicide, the thought of going to hell existed in my mind wether I wanted it or not. I still can't let it go. at one hand I've lost my faith, at other hand I tell myself what if hell is real? also I tell myself even if we assume that god and hell is real, why should I go to hell for doing something that doesn't harm anyone else and it's just for saving myself from suffering?
I keep switching between believing and disbelieving hell over and over and this just makes my insanity worse every time.