Hm well let's see:
no job, can't get a job (or I can but most likely I'd be fired or I'd quit), can go to college but I'd either drop out or fail, probably won't get a degree, still living with my mom but she is older now and I'm running out of time, hard to drink SN, hard to find a place to drink SN, don't have a gun, hanging is too hard or risky or something like that, I'm a horrible persona nd I keep getting trauma flashbacks, I ruminate on thoughts, head hurts sometimes, arguments I've had keep appearing in my head, no money, extremely hard to get money, can't fit into society because of how I'm prone to acting, can't hold down a conversation, social anxiety, ready to leave, been ready to leave a long time ago but that never worked out, ready to non-exist, want to get rid of my trauma, want to stop experience pain and life itself, tired of life
Hm I think that's pretty much it.