What are your hopes?

[Trans Magus]

Leave the house where I have to live with my cancer-stricken mother. Given that I'm an autistic trans NEET, it's unlikely I'll ever be able to achieve this. It's agonizing living with someone twice my age who constantly needs support and not really having any IRL friends to do things with.

 

[crocodileideal]

My hope is that the love of my life will recover and give up on CTB.

I know, maybe a little bit contradictory, but it hurts like a beast tearing a part of you...

 

[whywere]

My hope is that the love of my life will recover and give up on CTB.

I know, maybe a little bit contradictory, but it hurts like a beast tearing a part of you...

My heart aches for you when I read your post. No global family member should EVER hurt, at least in my view point. I 100% send you all my love and SUPPORT as I will keep you in my thoughts this up coming weekend, with the knowledge that your partner over comes and is by your side. Sorry, but I am crying writing this because it so upsets me that a global family member like you has this aspect in their life. Sending you ALL my love and SUPPORT!! Also a beautiful bright sunny weekend so you can share it with your partner!! Walter ( yep real first name, 65 years young, gray hair and never phony)

 

[FuneralCry]

I don't hold out much hope for me in this life. I think the majority of my problems are things that couldn't have been prevented and are out of my control. I think it is simply inevitable that I have ended up this way. However I do hope that maybe things may get a bit more bearable for me so I don't have to think about ctb most of the time. I would rather not think about the future, but at least death will come to us someday.

 

[Forgetting5]

Literally just to make suffering as minimal as possible. I don't even care about being happy anymore I just don't want to feel pain

 

[Quinlor]

I hope that my ex-best friend and girlfriend talk to me again, I know that is totally selfish of my part but she was really important to me....

 

[hectorbeekind]

My previous suffering is better than now. I wanna go back to that because it was way less painful. I never imagined that my condition would come up to this; hoping for an old pain that I loathe so much to embrace me again. I can't ctb anymore even if I want to.

@Sensei you're a teacher and you helped me so much before and I see you're still going strong with that.

 

[nopointofliving]

to manage every day till I find a peaceful exit.

 

[Bitterman1996]

If you're still not dead there's probably a glimmer of hope in you. What are your hopes? What is it that could happen which could save your life? In my case, it's pathetically enough love. If I could find true love again I'd probably give this shit called life a few more decades.

getting good enough to live by drawing (whether it's comic, illustration etc), I can't see myself being a full time student to get to university again since I dropped out (spend 5-6 years in med school) so on that part, I think normal desk job is out. I'm 23 now, my personal "deadline" is 25 (whether I should kill myself or not).

Other than that, it's rough.

 

[Mentalmick]

That I don't get stopped by some jobs worth copper when I put a new exhaust on my bike because it's bound to deafen some cunt.

 

[Amumu]

I'd like to get better financially, I hope my jaw operation will go well and that my depression and social anxiety improve

 

[TriggerHappy]

I understand / i'm struggling with finding balance between these two aspects of my emotional / spiritual understanding / evolution - constantly evolving - never achieved: once attained; it is realised and then lost (thus the 'buddhist' nun?)
when i was making this I was thinking of 'the Star' archetype in major arcana in the tarot deck...


hopefull • hopeless
[ it seems like it's all (everything) or nothing lately :: i'm struggling with trying to get things done right / properly... i second-guess & confound myself to such a degree that i eventually abandon it (& all hope) of success.
maybe it's a form of procrastination?
it's the feelings of worthlessness that i'm left with when i let it all slip through my fingers...
:: is there a spiritual dynamic to being hopeful / hopeless? pls advise.
:: apologies for the incoherence (thank the Gods that I'm not tryin' to explain this (@hourly rate on a therapists couch!)
"when we hope to have hope - "

 

[heretogethelp]

just to get thru life and make enough money to avoid homelessness.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I want a cure for CFS so I am not permanently disabled and suffering everyday anymore with no reprieve, misunderstood by the world because they cannot physically see how much agony I am in.

 

[UseItOrLoseIt]

To stop being affected by normies. To stop comparing myself to them, stop wanting to be like them. To sever my own "normie" part from myself. In other words, to tone down my emotional dependance on others and be unapologetically indifferent to my own eccentricity.

 

[k75]

I'm hanging on because I want to want to live again. I want to be happy again. I want to feel like myself again and be able to look in a mirror without wanting to cry. I want to make all the beautiful things that are stuck in my head and would die with me.

 

[heretogethelp]

ant to live again. I want to be happy again. I want to feel like myself again and be able to look in a mirror without wanting to cry. I want to make all the beautiful things that are stuck in my head and would die with me.

Wow. I'm definitely not that optimistic.

 

[k75]

Wow. I'm definitely not that optimistic.

Just because I want it doesn't mean any of it is ever going to happen. It most definitely is not. But I can't quite let go yet.

 

[Downbylife]

I'm hanging on because I want to want to live again. I want to be happy again. I want to feel like myself again and be able to look in a mirror without wanting to cry. I want to make all the beautiful things that are stuck in my head and would die with me.

Same here, I just want to get my life back. Unlike most here (don't get me wrong, please, I'm not saying that any point of view is wrong!) I came to conclusion that I truly loved life before I got sick. I loved the nature, I loved the animals, I loved the emotions I used to feel. I just wish to get it back someday but it feels like I'm caught in vicious circle without the end by now.

 

[k75]

Same here, I just want to get my life back. Unlike most here (don't get me wrong, please, I'm not saying that any point of view is wrong!) I came to conclusion that I truly loved life before I got sick. I loved the nature, I loved the animals, I loved the emotions I used to feel. I just wish to get it back someday but it feels like I'm caught in vicious circle without the end by now.

I definitely relate. I don't hate life, and in a lot of ways I have a good one, but it doesn't matter. Crucial things turned very deeply wrong and can never be fixed, but I still want them to be. I can remember what it was like before all this, and I want it back. I'm basically at war with my own mind at this point, and how do you win there?

 

[Downbylife]

I definitely relate. I don't hate life, and in a lot of ways I have a good one, but it doesn't matter. Crucial things turned very deeply wrong and can never be fixed, but I still want them to be. I can remember what it was like before all this, and I want it back. I'm basically at war with my own mind at this point, and how do you win there?

I wish I know, which does not change the fact that I wish you luck in this fight

 

[landojustwannactb]

I just hope that i dont get found before completing the task, just let me ride the damn bus.

 

[Tav]

Meds for my infection. I hope they will do the job at some point

Infection caused by what? How severe. it is?

 

[Enabran255]

I just want to finally be able to recover from the catastrophic damage that was done to my life from vicious bullying in college so long ago now. The fallout from that effectively froze my life for fourteen years now. It paralyzed my ability to make any kind of progress in any part of life, and made me helpless to save a close friend who's now dead.

I've become painfully aware that the hopes I hold now are effectively unattainable. These lofty, unrealistic hopes are:

Find a girlfriend who I can fall in love with and who'd feel the same for me. This seems impossible now since I can't relate to anyone in my age group, our life experiences are intractably disparate, plus none of my interests are appealing to them (our society seems to have a ruthless way of purging said interests out of people after college).

Make friends again and rebuild something close to the social life I had briefly at the high point of my life (impossible for most of the reasons in the preceding paragraph).

My efforts at trying either of these have been met with harsh, unyielding failure. I want to somehow believe that I have a future worth living for, but that feels laughable right now.

 

[lanax09]

I would like to make enough money from my coding that I can buy a house and cut off my mother and then have a stable income, and I'd like to have some friends that I'm genuinely connected to and have fun with, who actually take time to talk to me so it's not always me texting first

 

[wanttodie]

hope to die

 

[Sans]

A body that doesn't make me want to puke every time I look in the mirror, and/or someone who loves me for who I am. Otherwise, a painless death. Or a painful one, just give it to me soon.

 

[motel rooms]

I hope I finally get rid of hope