I often have to think about things I posted and how people reacted to it. I am obsessed by what others think of me even online and I like to make people laugh. (in the right way.)
One of my favorite quote of the recent past was this one. I probably forgot older ones.
sanctioned-suicide.net
This comment (he quoted my post) meant a lot to me. I am fully and absolute honest about the things I describe there. It is insane how much the government/state pays for such "crisis interventions to save lives". It certainly would not "save" my life it would just postpone my suicide. I had so much more if they gave me the money directly. And I am certainly not the only one for whom money issues are a main reason for suicide. The way suicidality is handled it just absurd.
The following is an evening I often think of.
sanctioned-suicide.net
I was at a party of a college friend. It was a gaze in a different life a more social one. I am ambivalent but in the longrun I certainly prefer my current habits. Posting on here is more honest and I can share my feelings without fears.
The following comment (which quoted my post) also meant a lot to me. I sometimes in a very weird way internalize things I said in the past and keep repeating them. It is probably caused by some psychotic elements of my thinking. It is so sad not to be 100% sane.
I cannot quote it the right way.
My quote was:
"I had the feeling of being a fraud and that these people do not know anything of me. That I am just hiding my pain and that if they knew the truth they would find me pathetic or a Spaßbremse. (German word don't know how to translate it. I try to paraphrase it. Someone you don't want to have around because his bad mood always ruins the day of other people.)"
This also something that still keeps my mind busy.
Here is a thread of mine from recovery.
sanctioned-suicide.net
I feel like it is a good deed trying to share positive attitudes on here. And on recovery that is supported.
Someone replied the following.
Well (I am asking the following myself often when I suffer as usually as hell) if there actually is a God and he is a good damn pro-lifer like everyone says why I am I not getting rewarded for things like that. I mean maybe I will have to wait for reincarnation but I expect at least an 8 inch penis (had to google that is that big? We don't use inch in my country but it sounds funnier), as much money as fucking Elon Musk on my bankaccount, the outer appearance of George Clooney and maybe some virgins in a harem but I hopefully won't have to wait till I have blown myself up.
Jokes aside. When the media describes (longterm) members here as monsters I can live better by sharing a more positive mindset. Despite the fact I am very certain that I will kill myself eventually. I cannot rule out that there is no God. I hope there is none because I hope for nothingness. But we don't know. This physics noble prize winner Anton Zeilinger is a believer and catholic which scares me. Maybe I get minus 100 billion karma points because my future suicide is already calculated to the result.
There is one offensive quote which I considered quite funny and of which I think about often. But it is too controversial to share.
Do you also have some quotes in mind?
One of my favorite quote of the recent past was this one. I probably forgot older ones.
Will all members of this forum get a welfare check one day finally?
I think I am not the only person with that question in mind since the recent events. Personally I was not that scared about getting a welfare check due to the fact I never ordered SN. Inter alia because of such scenarios. I think I will ctb in the end and I planned to commit suicide with SN...
sanctioned-suicide.net
This comment (he quoted my post) meant a lot to me. I am fully and absolute honest about the things I describe there. It is insane how much the government/state pays for such "crisis interventions to save lives". It certainly would not "save" my life it would just postpone my suicide. I had so much more if they gave me the money directly. And I am certainly not the only one for whom money issues are a main reason for suicide. The way suicidality is handled it just absurd.
The following is an evening I often think of.
So I went to this party it was better than expected
I am going through a lot recently. I think about planning suicide or not. The pros and the cons. Especially always having in mind the condition of my mom which has a big impact on my life. I was invited to a party of a close college friend of mine. He is my best friend at college but he soon...
sanctioned-suicide.net
I was at a party of a college friend. It was a gaze in a different life a more social one. I am ambivalent but in the longrun I certainly prefer my current habits. Posting on here is more honest and I can share my feelings without fears.
The following comment (which quoted my post) also meant a lot to me. I sometimes in a very weird way internalize things I said in the past and keep repeating them. It is probably caused by some psychotic elements of my thinking. It is so sad not to be 100% sane.
I cannot quote it the right way.
My quote was:
"I had the feeling of being a fraud and that these people do not know anything of me. That I am just hiding my pain and that if they knew the truth they would find me pathetic or a Spaßbremse. (German word don't know how to translate it. I try to paraphrase it. Someone you don't want to have around because his bad mood always ruins the day of other people.)"
This also something that still keeps my mind busy.
Here is a thread of mine from recovery.
You can live with suicidal thoughts without committing suicide
Yeah at the moment I feel a little bit better. I try to spread some positive vibes here in recovery and provide some resources for other people who want to recover. I personally really doubt my life will have a happy end but this does not mean other people can't have it. Having suicidal...
sanctioned-suicide.net
Someone replied the following.
Well (I am asking the following myself often when I suffer as usually as hell) if there actually is a God and he is a good damn pro-lifer like everyone says why I am I not getting rewarded for things like that. I mean maybe I will have to wait for reincarnation but I expect at least an 8 inch penis (had to google that is that big? We don't use inch in my country but it sounds funnier), as much money as fucking Elon Musk on my bankaccount, the outer appearance of George Clooney and maybe some virgins in a harem but I hopefully won't have to wait till I have blown myself up.
Jokes aside. When the media describes (longterm) members here as monsters I can live better by sharing a more positive mindset. Despite the fact I am very certain that I will kill myself eventually. I cannot rule out that there is no God. I hope there is none because I hope for nothingness. But we don't know. This physics noble prize winner Anton Zeilinger is a believer and catholic which scares me. Maybe I get minus 100 billion karma points because my future suicide is already calculated to the result.
There is one offensive quote which I considered quite funny and of which I think about often. But it is too controversial to share.
Do you also have some quotes in mind?
