AstralMadness
Member
- Nov 20, 2025
- 6
Black_Knight
"Student"
- Jul 10, 2019
- 140
Fear
I'm at a point where I think I'm incompatible enough with reality that it is almost certainly the right decision
Either that or living some kind of "alternative lifestyle" I don't have the imagination to picture or the skills to enact
I have nightmares and persistent closed eye visuals from overusing psychotropics, they have convinced me that there's something on the other side for me and it's not good. I don't think I'm all that comfortable with an afterlifeless "before you were born" scenario either, although what bothers me most about that isn't the lack of state itself but the transitional state into it.
If I had N I'd do it in a heartbeat, but my method is partial and there is some awareness that you're going to die before you lose consciousness, and it was scary when I experienced it. The illusion that suicide is an act of defiance/seizing control is falling away as I begin to consider the reality of it more seriously.
I'm at a point where I think I'm incompatible enough with reality that it is almost certainly the right decision
Either that or living some kind of "alternative lifestyle" I don't have the imagination to picture or the skills to enact
I have nightmares and persistent closed eye visuals from overusing psychotropics, they have convinced me that there's something on the other side for me and it's not good. I don't think I'm all that comfortable with an afterlifeless "before you were born" scenario either, although what bothers me most about that isn't the lack of state itself but the transitional state into it.
If I had N I'd do it in a heartbeat, but my method is partial and there is some awareness that you're going to die before you lose consciousness, and it was scary when I experienced it. The illusion that suicide is an act of defiance/seizing control is falling away as I begin to consider the reality of it more seriously.
