Discussion What are you waiting for?

[brokensea]

As sad as it is all I have to live for is the next season of a show lol. I'm waiting until the next season of cobra kai to ctb. As soon as I'm done that I will go have a nice meal and then start my fast for my regimen.

Never feel shame for being unable to ctb. It's not the easy way out, it's actually going against every instinct in your mind and body that's been built up over millions of years. It's one of the hardest things a person can do. It's a crime against our free will that we can't ctb will medical assistance.

I love Cobrai Kai too. One of my top shows. Have watched it 3x.

 

[farakini]

My failed attempts are stopping me. I tried to hang myself so many times yesterday. I don't understand what I'm doing wrong.

 

[Brianiskillingme]

Scared and dying alone. I cant involve or trust anyone to help me.

 

[Ginnn]

I have decided to hang from a doorknob. What is stopping me is first, that my parents won't leave me alone for a month, and second, that I can't find enough information to not mess things up. I have also developed this strong impulse that makes me panic when something touches my neck, my natural instict to stay alive has got so strong now.

 

[Ceterum]

for things to break apart. I still have a caring father and I don't want to put him in this misery and I also still need to get some stuff sorted. And if life shows a way to deal with it in the meantime, I am also okay with it. Kind of ... waiting and keeping options open.

Potential pretty safe methods readily available, that is comforting. So I'm not in a hurry

 

[chyme]

I'm trying to stick to my long-term plan. Best case scenario, I'll CTB two years from now.. Resisting the urge to make an impulsive attempt is an everyday challenge, though. Hopefully I'll be able to hold on long enough to see it through, I'm really trying- I want to end things the right way.
Besides, if I were to rush into it right now, I'd be risking more than I'd have any feasible chance of succeeding.

I'll admit there are still times I feel lost. After all, my reason for not killing myself now and continuing to live is so I can kill myself later.. The more I think about it the more I realize how pointless and laughable my existence is.

 

[LeavingEarly]

I am scared

Yeah me too. Death is terrifying.

 

[want2dienow]

SN

 

[Capsaicin78]

My SN hasn't arrived yet. Had to order a new package unfortunately

 

[GreyCTB]

Only thing I'm waiting for is D's new email. I ordered from him weeks ago but something happened. I will post about this in the N from D thread when I get PM privileges

 

[eternalflame]

My grandmother needing help with everyday tasks. Maybe also living with my mother.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I'm waiting for my Dad to pass- I don't want to hurt him. I haven't even got the practicalities nailed down yet though- updated will, pre paid funeral, notes and not even the method. Have a horrible feeling- with all that done, I'll still be too afraid to do it. Fear of failing it and fear of a possible afterlife (I'm undecided on God/heaven/hell and it's enough to frighten me).

 

[Hangnail]

My source for N seems to be MIA right now.

 

[Lily (Osako)]

I'm waiting for my kid to get through boot camp, his secondary schooling and get off to a good start.
I can't ruin that for him.

 

[eternalflame]

I'm waiting for my Dad to pass- I don't want to hurt him. I haven't even got the practicalities nailed down yet though- updated will, pre paid funeral, notes and not even the method. Have a horrible feeling- with all that done, I'll still be too afraid to do it. Fear of failing it and fear of a possible afterlife (I'm undecided on God/heaven/hell and it's enough to frighten me).

My thoughts exactly. Guilt connected with fear of afterlife making it more shitty than it is now.

Osako, are you really sure about ctbing? You know there is higher chance of suicides in families, Hemingway and stuff?

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

I'm just dragging my heels …

 

[tser1073]

I'm just dragging my heels …

Same, I don't really have anything in particular that I am waiting for. I've known since I was a child that CTB would be the way I would go, and I've been procrastinating/waiting for things to hit a boiling point

 

[theboy]

Yeah me too. Death is terrifying.

Yes:( ashhhh

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

I'm waiting for my mom to agree with my suicide. Then I can finally do it

 

[eternalflame]

Do you really think that she can be convinced?

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

Right now, I guess I'm waiting so my roommates don't have to pay my portion of rent.

 

[tired868686]

Literally access to something that is not going to fail.

 

[mentalhealthfighter]

Do you really think that she can be convinced?

Yes, as long as I've tried everything

 

[shamefulfaliure]

Whats stopping you from ctb? Or getting whatever it is that you want?
I'm trying to figure out myself why I haven't ctb yet, since its all I think about and all I want. I don't see a future, and I don't think I have any hope or am selfless enough to stay alive just for the sake of others. And I don't think I'm scared of surviving either, my plan is pretty solid.
I'm hoping you guys can offer some insight from your own personal experiences, or just general advice to help me figure whats stopping me from finally getting some peace from all the suffering.

I am looking for the best method I am setting for the exit bag method but I read now if u have respiratory issues it might not be a good approach the most common method here is to take a pesticide called sniper but it take time and the pain they say is much though no good medical support so once u take it it's just a matter of time I am looking for helium alternatives that I can fill in the exit bag the bag would be a normal polythene bag then I use a tape around my neck just here looking for the best option.

 

[Girl-shaped Wound]

In my case, I am only still alive as actually going through with suicide is difficult for me. We live in a pro life society that makes it as hard for us to die as possible and denies people the option of an straightforward, peaceful exit. Leaving this world can be very complicated and I lack the option of a peaceful and reliable exit. Ordering suicide materials on the internet can be risky and the more easily accessible methods sound horrible. The fear of failure is one of the main things keeping me here, it sounds so terrifying ending up in a worse condition.

I so wish that suicide is much easier, I have already suffered enough in life. We all deserve the option of euthanasia and nobody should have to research suicide on the internet at all in the first place. All that I am doing basically is waiting around to die, and that is what life basically is, we are just distracting ourselves from the fact that we will all die eventually.

Same here, pretty much. I've lost all of my delusions about anything having a value to me when I no longer want to live. I guess something hasn't broken inside me yet to the point of allowing me to go through with SN despite SI and all my fears of botching my suicide.

I'm not ready yet, even though I wish things were different. i hate to admit it, I feel like such a useless coward too.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

I am just lazy.

 

[Someday_Somehow32]

I guess I would say my fear of death and what happens afterward. Is it like closing your eyes and going to sleep? Would I even know I died? I doubt anything happens afterward but still, I'm a little scared.

 

[iltloml]

Something to take me out peacefully

 

[cfcfcfcf]

Learn how to walk on my own after failed jump attempt in order to go to the parcel locker where I will have my SN ordered.

How high was jump

 

[Szinuus]

7 meters