Discussion What are you saddest about leaving behind?

[sserafim]

I'm laying down next to my dog who's sleeping soundly. He is my everything and has stopped me from ctb'ing several times. One day I'm gonna have to get over it but it's going to be hard. He's only 4 so he's got more life ahead of him than I do.

Honestly I'm always confused when and don't understand why people ask these kinds of questions. Why would you be sad about leaving anything behind? The thought of leaving this existence and ctb actively makes me feel better and motivates me. I couldn't care less about the things I'm "leaving behind". If I had to say, I guess my dog.

 

[iDontKnowWhat]

My parents, my brother and my 3 dogs. But i'll do it next week, on Monday or Thursday. I already have all the ingredients to die with the second most perfect method

 

[Wouldpecker]

My gecko. I'd be fine if I knew he'd be well-taken care of, but I don't. I don't know anyone else who would even be capable of taking him, and if I died he'd be neglected and ignored until he died. It would be slow and painful for him. Living for him is keeping me here, for now.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

Nothing

 

[Strawberry Moon]

My dog. He's my best friend and the only thing that manages to get a smile out of me these days. He'll be looked after when I'm gone but I don't want him to wonder where I am or feel abandoned. Fuck everyone else.

 

[Cress]

I lived for my dog. He was my baby. I miss him so much, when he was stolen from me, that's truly when my physical health began to markedly decline. Exactly a month to the day after he was stolen, I was in the hospital - primary care thought I was having a stroke but it turned out to be my first cluster headache.

The pain was excruciating.

It's been downhill ever since.

I'll never know what happened to him - if my father killed him (he can be extremely violent), gave him away, abandoned him somewhere…

I got an email yesterday from the vet wishing my boy a happy birthday and I thought wait, my dog was born in June. So I called the vet and they said he hadn't been in since 2021 and that he had a heart condition.



2021 was the year he was stolen, and when my father told me quote, "jump off a fucking bridge".

I'll be saying my boys name when I go, as I go.

He was my heart.

I had a cat when I Was a teenager named Cody I had a pretty strong bond with this cat. He was closer to a dog and capable of listening to commands and following me around outside. My mom ended up losing all of our animals due to her hoarding situation Which included this cat. I never saw him again and don't know what happened to him. Not knowing what happened pains me greatly.

I can relate to your story not knowing what happened to your pet. This was all over 10 years ago For me and Cody is Certainly almost no longer with us. I have never decided to own another animal since then. As I feel like that was my one animal and I am not able to easily move on Transplanting affection onto a surrogate other animal as so many other people are able to do.

I had a infusion treatment a few weeks ago and I ended up having my longest Uninterrupted section of rest that I've ever done so Sleeping for over 24 hours without ever getting up. I was dreaming to the majority of it and regardless of whatever I was doing in the dream I for some reason had my cat with me Cody. It's hard to say but I felt like I legitimately spent time with him while sleeping. After I woke up I could still feel his presence to a degree. Sort of felt like the dream was him waiting for me on the other side.

 

[VioletNebula]

My boyfriend and not a damn thing else. Maybe a little sad i wont see the completion of my favorite book series, if that counts
don't really have friends or family or any pets… i guess i'm lucky in that regard?

 

[Ammended]

Exactly so. I feel so lucky to have an amazing family, but I know some of them are going through some really hard times right now. Unfortunately, some are because of me. They're both the ones I'll miss and the reason I'll ctb.

For me as well. I have two people that I love more than anything. They won't see this as me taking care of them. But I know that I am.

 

[iamsofkntired]

My family , my younger sibling and my older sisters , I'm going to move out to live with my sister in another country in 2 years and they dream about that moment so much and I feel wo bad for taking that away from them , my brother is just 13 and he already knows too much about my attempts and everything and i know I will simply ruin his life by ctb , my parents are divorced and its gonna be just him and my dad I feel so bad for having to leave him go deal with this world alone , I feel bad for the future I could have had , my friends will get over me it's fine but it's just my 5 siblings and mom and dad , I will be ruining 8 peopls life , and my therapist would be crushed and she mentioned many times about how she would feel after my last attempt I will be sad for never doing what I wanted , never getting a pet never driving while blasting my fav song , never going to a concert and I will miss out so much and I hate it actually I've been having doubts about ctb but i just feel like it's my survival instincts but yeah my date is in 10 days we'll see what happens
My family , my younger sibling and my older sisters , I'm going to move out to live with my sister in another country in 2 years and they dream about that moment so much and I feel wo bad for taking that away from them , my brother is just 13 and he already knows too much about my attempts and everything and i know I will simply ruin his life by ctb , my parents are divorced and its gonna be just him and my dad I feel so bad for having to leave him go deal with this world alone , I feel bad for the future I could have had , my friends will get over me it's fine but it's just my 5 siblings and mom and dad , I will be ruining 8 peopls life , and my therapist would be crushed and she mentioned many times about how she would feel after my last attempt I will be sad for never doing what I wanted , never getting a pet never driving while blasting my fav song , never going to a concert and I will miss out so much and I hate it actually I've been having doubts about ctb but i just feel like it's my survival instincts but yeah my date is in 10 days we'll see what happens

 

[SovietSuicide]

My mum, she made a lot of mistakes but she tried her best, life is hard. I'm sorry for the pain it'll cause her. That's why I'm only gonna do it when I have literally no other choice. I will also try my best.

 

[Ernest1964]

Pizza My Heart for pizza by the slice or whole pie

Pizza by the slice or whole pie with a focus on natural locally grown ingredients from California farms. Fresh salads, craft beers and a laid-back surf vibe.

www.pizzamyheart.com

Oh... and Mexican food.

 

[AnonymousL]

My boyfriend ..

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

My animal and the one actually decent friend I have.

 

[tranny123]

i'm so scared about how my girlfriend will react. i'm so terrified to break her heart but she doesn't realize that i have to ctb

 

[CuriosityAndCat]

My pet birds. I'm going to take them to a bird sanctuary before I die. They've stopped me several times by actively trying to attack me and put a hole in me. Never at any other time. Then they stay really close by being snippy. I smile and behave friendly most of the time so people tend to think I'm a happy person, but my birds somehow seem to be able to tell.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

I wouldve said my cat if i still lived with him or if he still liked me but probably my games or movies as weird as it sounds. So many on my wishlist i need to get around to that id almost feel like i missed out if i didnt get to them before i ctb

 

[wastingtime]

my siblings.. my parents too even though theyre one of the biggest reason for why i want to go. i just cant stand hurting my brother and sister like this. i'm sorry

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Sanctioned Suicide

A community that discusses mental illness and suicide from the perspective of suicidal people, as well as the moral implications of the act itself.

sanctioned-suicide.net