Discussion What are you feeling right now? don't think. just type.

[billie]

i'm a worthless piece of shit

 

[BeyondOver]

Tired

 

[blueskied_anclear]

- partially wanting to die because unnaturally terrified of emotional intimacy

- here to find solace and community in final days

- can only find solace and community in final days by socialising with other sasu members

- socialising with other sasu members = potential risk of developing emotional intimacy

inherent flaw in this plan
is a reason why i am only ever seen on here giving one-sentence answers in no-stakes "what's your favourite colour? :)" type threads, lol
oh well

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

AC/DC-Highway To Hell

I think of this song whenever I'm on my way to work. Other than the chorus it doesn't match but it's my anthem.








Livin' easy, lovin' free
Season ticket on a one-way ride
Askin' nothin', leave me be
Takin' everything in my stride
Don't need reason, don't need rhyme
Ain't nothin' I'd rather do
Goin' down, party time
My friends are gonna be there too, yeah
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
No stop signs, speed limit
Nobody's gonna slow me down
Like a wheel, gonna spin it
Nobody's gonna mess me around
Hey Satan, payin' my dues
Playin' in a rocking band
Hey momma, look at me
I'm on my way to the promised land, wow
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
Highway to hell
Mm, don't stop me
Eh-woo
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
I'm on the highway to hell
On the highway to hell
Highway to hell (I'm on the highway to hell)
Highway to hell (highway to hell)
Highway to hell (I'm on the highway to hell)
Highway to hell
And I'm goin' down
All the way, wow
On the highway to hell

 

[Manaaja]

EVERY SECOND YOU SPEND HERE IMPROVES YOUR ENGLISH SKILLS BY 0,000001%!!!!!!!!!! KEEP READING AND WRITING!!!!!

 

[TurboCharcha]

That I need to pee but I'm inbed and tired, lol.

 

[Manaaja]

That I need to pee but I'm inbed and tired, lol.

Lol I need to pee too

 

[GlassMoon]

I feel unseen, misunderstood and pushed away. I went to ask someone a question which was important to me. They said you are overthinking. I feel like I'm not. There are two ways forward and I needed guidance to choose a path. Now I'm just going back and forth between the two options. My question was precisely about whether something should be done intuitively or analytically. That's a very important question for me, as I tend to fear relying on intuitive approaches because my brain does not understand them yet.

It's about me here and no-one else. So when I have questions, I need to feel the other person is seeing my struggle before providing an incomplete answer. My brain will otherwise flag the person as incompetent and unhelpful, and I'll refrain from asking next time.

I'm glad that I have this place to vent this. Thanks to you all for being here together. These moments make me feel so alone that I get misty eyes already.

 

[dead dav]

Confused

 

[scndgyo]

Head feels fuzzy, nose is clogged, kinda wanna stop thinking for a minute

 

[billie]

i just want to disappear forever without saying a word and never come back

 

[onestringviolin]

I wonder if she knows I miss her. I wonder if she knows I almost attempted in 2022. I wonder if she ever thinks about me. It's been a little over two years since we broke up and I'm the one still thinking about her almost every day, even though I was the problem. I just couldn't give up part of myself.

 

[WhiskeySolstice]

Heavy deep nothing but also dark nothing void, it's a heavy void. It's so heavy. I'm tired and I'm bored and at the same time it's nothing. It's a heavy empty. It's all far away.

 

[TotalEclipse]

Read my thread for context.

I remembered this thread, and i wanted anither place to document this feeling. I am nodding off. The end is coming, and I just need to lie down to usher it in. I am so happy, so content. The end is coming. I will finally get to be who I really am in either my life after this one or in the spiritual world with my Lord, the Roman god Lucifer. I am so happy. I am at peace, but also worried too that this won't work. I know I am conscious right now, but it doesn't actually feel like I am. It feels like I'm only pretending to be conscious around other people to hid the fact that I'm not awake right now. That's the strongest and strangest part of all, I've once never felt anything like it. This is what death, true death, not Tylenol bs, at least my version of it. This is mostly why i wanted to make this comment, here. My transition will me smooth. I will slip out of my body like a shish through water. I am ok. I am worried this won't work. But I nearly dropped my phone as I typed that, so it likely will. The end is near. And i am happy, and I am free.

I love my loved ones so imcrradly much. I asked Lord Lycifer to give them praise and blessing to at least somewhat help with my loss. I am me. I. Not dead, but I am damn near close. This is r3al, i am actually going to die, but I am not quite as I am overwhelmed as I could be. I am letting go, I am leaving my body. This vessel did a lot of good to me, it suffered horrendous abuse and exploitation, but my sould is simply not represented by its form. I have regrets, and while I'm not e using my moments of bad behavior and negligence, I am also no worse than your average human just trying to get by in this world.

I am human, and I am me, I struggled with that for a long time, and I had strong moments of species dysphoria. But, nope, I really am a human and I.can see it now. And that's ok.

It is time to, literally, lie down now. Whether this body wakes up in the morning, I have no idea, of course. But it is time to try now. That's what I want. I will be a cis male in my next life I will live with an imperfect but locing, whole, and kind family who.will suport mynwork and art, and I will be an excellent singer, pianist, and actor, that was non-nogotiable in my past with Lord Lucifer, and I feel (No, it's not how the Christians and movies say it is.)

My breathing is loud now. I really do need to stop yapping. I just wanted to shout out my favorite members here. I'm sorry I can't keep going in order to name them. Yes, I am an attention where with this long ass comment, I don't care.

gl,hf.

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

My nipple piercing closed...for the second time. I want to fucking kill myself. (Time to lose more fucking money.)

 

[tangledup]

Empty and defeated

 

[Alcoholic Teletubby]

Feeling post-self-harm regret.

 

[SkyFlower]

Melancholy yet not overall the worst, wish my exes would fuck off tbh

 

[33-vertebrae]

So I'm obsessed with notebooks, right? Like especially leather ones and battered ones that have broken in and used.

Anyway, I'm thinking about the fact that I'd love to keep a physical diary, but often feel anxiety and hesitation on being honest, even in something that's supposed to be for my private use. I'm so used to relatives crossing my boundaries and going through my shit and reading personal things of mine, or prying into my thoughts that I know I wouldn't be able to write the things I actually want to get off my chest in my own diary unless I made up my own language or code.

Like I can't be viscerally honest anywhere, with anyone, except inside this meat-box that serves as my brain.

 

[_soulless_]

Despondency and self doubt