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K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
Obviously some of us have nothing that makes them want to live and no moments where they want to live. But some of us, myself included, while usually suicidal do have some moments where we're glad to be alive.

If you have that, what does that for you? At what moments do you feel happy to be alive to experience it?

For me it's...
1. When I'm watching or reading a great story or a great moment in a story I often think about how I'm happy to be alive to experience it.
2. Usually when I'm writing my own stories.
3. Sometimes when I listen to great music I can be happy to be alive to hear. Yesterday I felt that and I even became sad at the idea of ever dying and not being able to hear music anymore.
4. Playing Skyrim sometimes.
5. Remembering very nostalgic memories, particularly those involving my first girlfriend. I'm glad to have been alive to know her and I'm glad I can remember her.
 
K-β

K-β

endlessly roaming across cyberspace
Mar 12, 2024
36
music is first & foremost for me. there's also this book i bought recently called "my broken mariko" which gave me perspective on how my girlfriend would feel should i ctb. my girlfriend herself also helps a lot. oh & also my stuffed animal ikea shark that i named "Waymond" i love that little guy.
 
slightoverlooked

slightoverlooked

Student
Dec 27, 2023
182
My mom and cats. Spending time with my close friends. My hobbies, comfort media, and fav. fictional characters...maybe becoming successful and having a stable life while working in science.
the tiny bit of hope that someone might love me one day
 
sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft

sppplmgwiwlkiwbtft

Member
Jun 15, 2023
36
there are quite a few reasons for me.. my mom, i think, is number one. her life had been miserable enough already and i just cant imagine hurting her again in the most gruesome way possible. then probably my pets because i know they wont understand my absence and will be hearbroken, my dog especially. then id say all the little things thats id like to experience, like playing tes 6 and da dreadwolf, visiting the uk or the us for the first time, going on my fav bands' shows or even witnessing my country's regime's fall hahah
 
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Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
733
Never thought I was ever going to say I wanted to live ever again, but here I am. My crush honestly, and idk wether I like it or not.
 
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HereTomorrow

HereTomorrow

eternally atoning
Feb 1, 2024
134
A lot of videogames, my friends, and probably my job. It doesn't pay much, but I can finally purchase things I missed out in childhood.
 
M

MannyAntsy

Member
Mar 24, 2024
8
This is about to sound so fucking lame, but my long distance girlfriend. She's plans on moving to somewhere in my region after she finishes school, and she's been helping me keep it together.
 
D

Didn't do NUFFIN

New Member
Mar 24, 2024
3
I know this is kind of cringe but asmr role-play has really helped ease my loneliness, i really like yandere's and gentle Fdom role-play, lol. I know it isn't real but just the fantasy of it makes me feel so happy, like my body just start's moving in excitement and i can't stay still, it makes me temporarily forget about all of my problems. But it does hurt pretty bad when i realize that im never going to receive that kind of love in real life.
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
I know this is kind of cringe but asmr role-play has really helped ease my loneliness, i really like yandere's and gentle Fdom role-play, lol. I know it isn't real but just the fantasy of it makes me feel so happy, like my body just start's moving in excitement and i can't stay still, it makes me temporarily forget about all of my problems. But it does hurt pretty bad when i realize that im never going to receive that kind of love in real life.
Nothing cringe about it. We all have our own things that make us feel alive. If it makes you want to live that's good. Sometimes it's just about getting through the day. As for love, maybe and maybe not. A lot of different people out there with a lot of different preferences though.
 
astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
83
1. Beautiful weather -- the sky turning pink during a sunset in the summer, heavy thunderstorms, warm and sunny spring days.
2. Travel... I go on vacation once a year and I always have an amazing time exploring the world. I'm going to Tokyo in the fall and hope to see the colors change.
3. Spending time with my family, especially my newborn niece
4. Hanging out with friends, provided they actually follow through and not cancel on me at the last minute as what happens 80% of the time
5. Online shopping for new outfits, perfume, technology, etc. and waiting for the package to come in
6. Seeing a cute guy in public and imagining us holding hands, or seeing a new gifset of my favorite actor
7. Waiting for the next episode of a TV show or a movie release
8. Cute dogs and birds
9. Curling up under a heated blanket with a good book or video game
10. Trying to finish all my fanfiction and creative projects
 
lemonbunny

lemonbunny

daydreaming the pain away ☆.。.:*・°
Sep 9, 2023
132
I've decided to go to a posh restaurant once a month as a reason to live.

Luckily I still enjoy food so it is something to look forward to...
sometimes food is all i look forward to in the day
 
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limeoctave

limeoctave

welcome home old friend, how was your life?
Mar 24, 2024
47
a lot actually: music, video games, movies, art, photography, reading, walking, biking, car trips, traveling, playing basketball, hiking, learning new things (ex. languages), food and drink, just nature and animals
 
du2497

du2497

Member
Mar 17, 2020
36
The thought of traveling or experiencing the same thing with a ton of people (think concerts etc), potentially a sense of togetherness, even for a few hours. I haven't had a "life" (social or otherwise) for years and years. I'd want a few years of being "normal" before I go.
 
ColorlessTrees

ColorlessTrees

Stuck
Jan 4, 2022
204
Another lovely thread. It's nice to have a small break from the doomerism.

1. My fiancé
2. Music, my favorite bands/albums, and the few very special concerts I've been to.
3. A couple of projects I'll probably never be able to finish.
4. When the stars align for a perfect, novel-length, well thought out fanfiction/exceptional romance books.
5. A handful of franchises that are extremely special to me (mostly video games)
6. My fashion doll collection
7. Nature, or a walk on a sunny day.
8. The rare thought-provoking conversation with a stranger. I always appreciate a new perspective with no strings attached.
9. Memories of the places I've visited, domestic or international—especially my WWOOFING experience(s).
10. The prospect that I may be able to contribute positively to people's lives with my compassion, no matter how few.
 
CozyTime

CozyTime

Death should be a free choice
Feb 16, 2019
53
One thing thats been on my mind forever is wanting to finish writing my book. It's just another fantasy book but I feel like I can express myself in it in a way thats different than anything else and that gives me relief.

Also chocolate.
 
K

KafkaF

Taking a break from the website.
Nov 18, 2023
451
One thing thats been on my mind forever is wanting to finish writing my book. It's just another fantasy book but I feel like I can express myself in it in a way thats different than anything else and that gives me relief.

Also chocolate.
I'm a writer too, so I understand. I hope you manage to finish that book. You may feel it's just another fantasy book, but I think each of us has something to contribute to the world. And there could be a day when someone is reading that book and feels inspired or better about themselves or the world or it just makes them forget about their misery for a few hours. And that's important, imo.
 
penguinl0v3s

penguinl0v3s

Wait for Me 💙
Nov 1, 2023
683
That first coffee in the morning. Very serious. That's pretty much it. I'm grateful it's at least one thing I can have gratitude for, if that makes sense.
You're making a lot of sense, the coffee shop always gives good vibes and is a safe space.
One thing thats been on my mind forever is wanting to finish writing my book. It's just another fantasy book but I feel like I can express myself in it in a way thats different than anything else and that gives me relief.

Also chocolate.
I like chocolate too :>
 
R

Regen

I stay in my power
Aug 20, 2020
358
Feeling connected to others. To feel like I am understood and loved and accepted for who I am (difficult because of my BPD).

Feeling joy and love in the things I do and the people I meet. Both are very difficult for me because of my depression.
 
lita-lassi

lita-lassi

let me spell it out for you: go to hell
Sep 25, 2023
396
- talking to and learning from people that are scientifically literate and dont get bored with what i enjoy rambling about
- my cat
- being useful to others
- the thought of someone being compatible with me, even if only for a short time
- the use of certain substances
- being out in very quiet, solitary nature
 
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