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FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,217
I just want to be free from all suffering. Life itself is enough of a reason, I am horrified by the fact that I am alive. Everything about being alive feels wrong to me. I simply prefer the sound of non existence and I have no interest in existing in such a horrible world where there is no limit as to how bad things can get.
WorthlessTrash
Worthless
- Apr 19, 2022
- 2,431
- Having to see people living the lives i cant
- Being born male and not female
- inability to enjoy hobbies due to the above 2.
3 great reasons to CTB, and no good reason to stay.
- Being born male and not female
- inability to enjoy hobbies due to the above 2.
3 great reasons to CTB, and no good reason to stay.
1. Trauma from bullying/abuse from skin condition.
2. Insecure about my looks, headshape, nose, uneven eyes lol, hairiness and skin damage from acne
3. No social skills and shyness to socially connect kind of forgot this overtime since HS but I was disadvantaged
4. Looked for men online that made my journey worse it was better to stay a virgin than be used/abused by south Asian man (their society is horrible how they treat their woman), casual fwb one night stand that ended up as assault/rape
5. No career and mental health issues making me more dysfunctional
From here on out I'll die lonely in poverty in regret and guilt. What I learned as not the best looking woman is to KEEP men as friends and stay in his social circle until he's accomplished in his wealth status to see who he picks.
Somethings I would have did differently to wide my chances of success
1. Plastic surgery on nose and chin/jaw if I had informed parents, go on accutane (probably would have still CTB because of this) tbh I had shit hand it sucks
2. Learn belly dance, and flexibility
3. Work on a career
4. Stay away from sex until marriage. I was raised to see it as reproduction and not for pleasure however I got influenced by the wrong people telling me about porn and masturbation which caused me to go down the path of destruction looking for men online to satisfy this sexual need leading to alcoholism and then rape with a one night stand. If I stayed away from masturbation, phone sex, and casual sex. I would still be alive just miserable and lonely still but at least I wasn't used.
2. Insecure about my looks, headshape, nose, uneven eyes lol, hairiness and skin damage from acne
3. No social skills and shyness to socially connect kind of forgot this overtime since HS but I was disadvantaged
4. Looked for men online that made my journey worse it was better to stay a virgin than be used/abused by south Asian man (their society is horrible how they treat their woman), casual fwb one night stand that ended up as assault/rape
5. No career and mental health issues making me more dysfunctional
From here on out I'll die lonely in poverty in regret and guilt. What I learned as not the best looking woman is to KEEP men as friends and stay in his social circle until he's accomplished in his wealth status to see who he picks.
Somethings I would have did differently to wide my chances of success
1. Plastic surgery on nose and chin/jaw if I had informed parents, go on accutane (probably would have still CTB because of this) tbh I had shit hand it sucks
2. Learn belly dance, and flexibility
3. Work on a career
4. Stay away from sex until marriage. I was raised to see it as reproduction and not for pleasure however I got influenced by the wrong people telling me about porn and masturbation which caused me to go down the path of destruction looking for men online to satisfy this sexual need leading to alcoholism and then rape with a one night stand. If I stayed away from masturbation, phone sex, and casual sex. I would still be alive just miserable and lonely still but at least I wasn't used.
