What are the main two or three reasons driving your desire to leave?

[Emily123]

gender dysphoria

 

[Navneel]

There are millions of reason. But the prime is intense hatred toward myself, my sincerely intolerance to myself and inability to not being someone what I intended to.

 

[Mooshi]

There's more than 3 but here are the main reasons

- I hate society/humanity as a whole and I don't want to be apart of it
- I'll never truly be happy no matter what I do, and my mental illnesses will always come back in the end
- The idea of growing old just hasn't ever sat right with me

 

[RottenDeer]

I don't think I am able to go through life without ever seeing it as what it is: a joke.
The constant monotonous activities, the expectations, the missing excitement, the empty things you do only to waste time...

 

[Natsu Suki]

My 2 main reasons in summary are my constant failures/general uselessness causing disappointment to others. My main second reason would be the constant loneliness I feel, I don't want to confide in others or seek help. Seeking help will just cause problems plus I believe I'm past the point of wanting help. I'll just get on the bus to the other world peacefully causing as little issues for people as possible. Anyway I could go on about this for hours but I'll keep it short.

 

[Unlucked]

I'm ugly, and have gender dysphoria. My transition won't succeed without this one surgery which I can never afford because it prevents me from going to work or socializing, so I'm pretty much stuck this way unless 30,000 falls from the sky. Might as well die seeing as I have no one to live for and no way to get out of the situation.

 

[Muirthemne]

It's complicated, but the main reason is loneliness. No one loves me, and no one ever will. I have no family, I've never dated (not for lack of trying on my part -- no one's interested in me), and it's just too late for any of that to change now.

I've also utterly failed in my career, and because of my disabilties that will also never change. There's lots of other bad stuff, too, but mostly it's those two things, especially the loneliness. I feel like I could endure all the other pain if I just didn't have to face it alone, but I'm always alone, and I always will be.

A lot of people here are saying they hate the world or whatever, and I totally get why because there is a lot of awfulness out there, but honestly for all the bad, I still really love this world and all the beauty it contains. I've met so many special people who are so beautiful inside and out and have so much to offer. For all the bad, I still believe there's more good in the final accounting. Not to invalidate how other people feel; that's just how I feel.

But knowing the world is full of goodness and beauty is kind of why I want to die. I don't see any of that in myself. The world is full of special, beautiful people, but that's precisely why someone as worthless and ugly as me will never fit in. The world is full of people I love, but totally empty of people who love me. I just don't belong here, and I never will.

 

[zeroambition]

1. Too much pressure in society to be attractive
2. No chance of ever being in a relationship
3. Unattractive appearance due to mouth breathing since I was a baby

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

I feel utterly powerless to be able to meet my needs in this life for companionship, love, connection. Its been 40 years of desperation, abuse, and lonliness. Ill be making it all stop as soon as I can.

It's complicated, but the main reason is loneliness. No one loves me, and no one ever will. I have no family, I've never dated (not for lack of trying on my part -- no one's interested in me), and it's just too late for any of that to change now.

I've also utterly failed in my career, and because of my disabilties that will also never change. There's lots of other bad stuff, too, but mostly it's those two things, especially the loneliness. I feel like I could endure all the other pain if I just didn't have to face it alone, but I'm always alone, and I always will be.

A lot of people here are saying they hate the world or whatever, and I totally get why because there is a lot of awfulness out there, but honestly for all the bad, I still really love this world and all the beauty it contains. I've met so many special people who are so beautiful inside and out and have so much to offer. For all the bad, I still believe there's more good in the final accounting. Not to invalidate how other people feel; that's just how I feel.

But knowing the world is full of goodness and beauty is kind of why I want to die. I don't see any of that in myself. The world is full of special, beautiful people, but that's precisely why someone as worthless and ugly as me will never fit in. The world is full of people I love, but totally empty of people who love me. I just don't belong here, and I never will.

I feel the same way. Life is a cruel lottery.

 

[whereispeace]

Intense self-hatred/lack of faith in myself, and general hopelessness. I don't see a way out of the hole I'm currently in. I'm dying.

 

[Erase.myself]

There's more than 3 but here are my main 3 reasons:

1.) My twin sister Krista died May 27th of last year. My exboyfriend/best friend James died Christmas Eve of last year. I want to go be with them. I still have feelings for my ex that passed away. We were actually talking about possibly getting back together 2 months before he died. I don't feel like a whole person anymore with them gone. I feel like I lost half my heart when my twin died, and 1/4 of what was left when James died.. and I feel like I don't have much of a heart left. I feel like I lost my home when I lost him....I just want to go be with them so bad.
2.) Im fighting/battling with an eating disorder, social anxiety, borderline personality disorder, depression, OCD, PTSD and I'm tired of fighting
3.) My depression makes me lack motivation to do things that once gave me any pleasure. I quit doing ballet, art, yoga, writing, reading, being with nature. I've been in and out of therapy for years. Doesn't do shit for me. I'll find fleeting moments of laughing but they're so temporary compared to the immense amount of pain I feel daily...and this cruel world doesn't make it better

 

[Una Nancy]

• Extreme loneliness and cannot make any friends
• Psychological problems
• I find the world meaningless. All of it seems so fake. It doesn't make any sense, so why stay any longer here? It's not like I'm afraid of death either. I find the idea of dying extremely calming.

 

[AMorteVivente]

- Anhedonia.
- No future. I am still trying to figure out if I have a decent future or not.
- Poverty. If I can't escape it, I may have no choice but to ctb.

 

[laiduponit]

- Immense mental strain, I've had suicidal depression since I was very young, I'd say as far back as 10 years old. A combination of that with my extreme OCD and my personality changes that can occur within hours, It's hard to live with, like a battle between something you can't see.
- False hopes of the future, relationships and old age. Nothing will change, no matter how many moments of temporary happiness occur or a holiday you take, It'll still all be the same, you can't outrun your mind.
- Hope afterwards, as I grew older I became more spiritual - Though it sounds insane, I do believe that this isn't it. I think that there is something that'll continue on for us all after dying, whether it is reincarnation or another way of 'living'.

 

[Painpleasure]

I'm bored of this hell hole. Why suffer only to end up DEAD ANYWAY.

I want a new experience.

 

[itsamadworld]

I'm bored of this hell hole. Why suffer only to end up DEAD ANYWAY.

I want a new experience.

What could you do to make you less bored? I mean, do you have hobbies, like hiking, bonfires, gaming, etc ...?

 

[Painpleasure]

What could you do to make you less bored? I mean, do you have hobbies, like hiking, bonfires, gaming, etc ...?

I'm SICK of it all. Everyday I feel pain. I want to REST in PEACE forever. The best part of the day for me is going to sleep. I DREAD waking up to maintain the MEATSUIT.

 

[itsamadworld]

I'm SICK of it all. Everyday I feel pain. I want to REST in PEACE forever. The best part of the day for me is going to sleep. I DREAD waking up to maintain the MEATSUIT.

Pain is a tough one. I do hope that you find something to alleviate it while you're here. a five minute yoga routine most mornings, that I found off the internet is helpful for me, but it;s not the end all , be all... I hear things cracking, and moving around in my right knee that I recently f-d up pretty badly. My lower back has been active for many years, and injuring my knee made that worse....

 

[thx1138]

There is only one reason: life itself.

Everything about life is painful. Love hurts, but so does being alone. Work is a huge pain (for me at least), but so is being unemployed. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Even rich people get depressed. You can't win. Every day you have to feel pain, hunger, fatigue, and the screaming of a million unfulfilled needs - even if you are in "good" health. It never ends, no matter how much you toil. We are all like Sisyphus. And to top it off, the only reward you get for your suffering in the end is that you die from old age, weak, ailing, forgetting things, and shitting in a diaper. Boy, isn't life just wonderful?

 

[muffin222]

Mental illness, existential loneliness, and lifelong damage from childhood trauma and abuse

 

[Sha70]

I have no purpose on this earth...

 

[ritsulover]

I don't like the concept of life. Having to work to provide for myself for something I don't even enjoy. Seems like a net negative to me

I don't have much of a future anyway cause I fucked up my childhood due to untreated mental illness(bipolar with psychotic features and social anxiety), even though when I tried to get it treated nothing worked and I just got blamed for it, lol.

I don't really like people, though I don't like the fact i'm alone. I was abused when I was younger and bullied in school so it's just natural to have a disdain and mistrust for people, but I can't get rid of the innate longing for companionship. Any type of companionship, be it a close friend, or a relationship. Neither would ever happen for me however. Every time I get a friend or a friend group they end up leaving me cause im too broken

 

[rebelsue]

1. Mental illness that never gets better.
2. Everyone hates me, and anyone I love eventually leaves.
3. The world is only getting worse.
4. I hate myself.

 

[the box is empty]

I have no one in my life who was better off for having known me.

This vicious cycle in my head of emotions that goes up and down is exhausting. I can't deal with the voices anymore but at the same time they comfort me. It's a nightmare loop.

Loneliness.

 

[Painpleasure]

There is only one reason: life itself.

Everything about life is painful. Love hurts, but so does being alone. Work is a huge pain (for me at least), but so is being unemployed. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. Even rich people get depressed. You can't win. Every day you have to feel pain, hunger, fatigue, and the screaming of a million unfulfilled needs - even if you are in "good" health. It never ends, no matter how much you toil. We are all like Sisyphus. And to top it off, the only reward you get for your suffering in the end is that you die from old age, weak, ailing, forgetting things, and shitting in a diaper. Boy, isn't life just wonderful?

This is the harsh reality that many simply cannot come to terms with.

I'm beginning to think that the best approach to overcome this is the blatant pursuit of shameless hedonism. After all, what's the point of being alive if you cannot at least ENJOY life??! As you so rightly pointed out, pain and suffering is the default disposition of life. The onus is on us to find means to make this suffering worth it.

 

[thx1138]

This is the harsh reality that many simply cannot come to terms with.

I'm beginning to think that the best approach to overcome this is the blatant pursuit of shameless hedonism. After all, what's the point of being alive if you cannot at least ENJOY life??! As you so rightly pointed out, pain and suffering is the default disposition of life. The onus is on us to find means to make this suffering worth it.

You're so right, man. I don't know how most people are able to avoid this harsh reality, but somehow they do. Ignorance is bliss.

However, I would argue that chasing hedonism isn't any better. People like that often end up getting addicted to the thing they enjoy, making them even more miserable than before. In my case, I enjoy food, it's the only thing that gives me momentary happiness. But if I ate whatever I wanted, I'd end up obese, ill & hating myself even more. Same goes for partying, video games, sex, alcohol, and most hedonistic pleasures. At least for me, this approach didn't work. The answer may lie in some some kind of philosophy that admits life is suffering and we must accept it because of a higher purpose. Sometimes I envy religious people who genuinely believe their suffering will be rewarded in heaven. But imaginary sky friends don't provide any help for the very real, non-imaginary pain here on earth. And I'm too cynical and jaded to believe a crude fairytale about talking snakes or rebirth cycles or many-armed elephants.

 

[gnomeboy17]

1) feeling like my life will never be what it should've been (I'm transgender)
2) fear of being alone forever and fear of failure
3) having no passion, nothing that makes me look forward to life

 

[TimeToBiteTheDust]

1. Chronic Pain
2. Hopelessness
3. Frustration

 

[Aman Sharma]

My reasons to leave:
1. I'm too ugly to be loved by anyone. Not just from outside but from inside as well.

2. I'm useless and worthless. I mess up in everything I do. I can't find happiness in anything. And my family has some great achievers so I'm just a shame for them.

3. I can't see a future for myself. All I can see is being drowned in the sea. My thoughts are not going to leave me how much I try. I'm really tired of this.

4. There is no way I can get help. I'm financially dependent on my family to get help and they won't understand how I feel. I can get help only if I get a job after graduation so that I can pay for my therapy. But it's still two years left for my graduation and I'm unsure of getting a job.

I'm just not getting enough courage to end it all.

 

[Trannydiary]

My sexuality - I'm autistic gay(+ gender dysphoric) atheist trapped in a homophobic sub saharan country. Which is so alienating.

Mediocrity - I dropped out of university because of severe social anxiety and depression so I have no marketable skills, nor any social skills.