sacrilegeofsouls
Come undone
- Jun 14, 2026
- 52
It's so ridiculous the never ending ebb and flow
My life seems to find itself trapped within. A few short weeks of hope and a couple more drenched in dread and so on. No peace,no accomplishment,no triumph seems to endure the eventual withering that engulfs all I've worked to sustain. Just when I improve a little I am plunged downwards once again. It's exhausting and bit by bit every cycle of success and sorrow seems to sap away the remaining fragments of patience and aspiration I have for this life. And after my many failures I just somehow pick myself back up with a dying gasp it's just, I'm stubborn I don't give up I don't like giving up i couldnt forgive myself if i did I don't want to go out like this at my lowest wallowing in my own misery.It seems I have made an enemy of my own life and I cannot let it get the better of me I want to do everything I intend to, achieve it all and then show my life that I am too great for it and so I will depart not because I could not hold the reins of my own life but because holding it was so easy I've grown bored, I wish to give up the saddle now. It kind of parallels how I play video games. Whenever a game proved itself too difficult and I kept experiencing defeat I just couldnt stop or ragequit because I felt like I would be admitting defeat,submitting,conceding the thought of it scalds me like magma and so I'd just sit there I even refused to eat till I finally won till I finally dominated whatever challenge it was that bothered me (looking at you liquid snake helicopter fight from.mgs1 on extreme difficulty) then I did that fight about 10 times over to rub it in that I had won and then I quit. And that's how I feel about my life too I want to dominate it prove I'm too good for it and not the opposite and then leave it behind in the dust because I can't stand to tolerate this disgusting lesser existence for any longer
My life seems to find itself trapped within. A few short weeks of hope and a couple more drenched in dread and so on. No peace,no accomplishment,no triumph seems to endure the eventual withering that engulfs all I've worked to sustain. Just when I improve a little I am plunged downwards once again. It's exhausting and bit by bit every cycle of success and sorrow seems to sap away the remaining fragments of patience and aspiration I have for this life. And after my many failures I just somehow pick myself back up with a dying gasp it's just, I'm stubborn I don't give up I don't like giving up i couldnt forgive myself if i did I don't want to go out like this at my lowest wallowing in my own misery.It seems I have made an enemy of my own life and I cannot let it get the better of me I want to do everything I intend to, achieve it all and then show my life that I am too great for it and so I will depart not because I could not hold the reins of my own life but because holding it was so easy I've grown bored, I wish to give up the saddle now. It kind of parallels how I play video games. Whenever a game proved itself too difficult and I kept experiencing defeat I just couldnt stop or ragequit because I felt like I would be admitting defeat,submitting,conceding the thought of it scalds me like magma and so I'd just sit there I even refused to eat till I finally won till I finally dominated whatever challenge it was that bothered me (looking at you liquid snake helicopter fight from.mgs1 on extreme difficulty) then I did that fight about 10 times over to rub it in that I had won and then I quit. And that's how I feel about my life too I want to dominate it prove I'm too good for it and not the opposite and then leave it behind in the dust because I can't stand to tolerate this disgusting lesser existence for any longer
