Discussion Were you severely bullied as a kid in school?

[AhG]

Yes, in HS my wife and I were always discrimated by few teachers and some popular kids. And some teachers for selling drugs. But jokes on the popular kids, I always upped the price on my drugs because they were always dicks.
^ sounds childish, but don't make fun of your drug dealers sexual orientation c:<

 

[letmeseethedeath]

Did you tell any adults about it? Did any teachers witness it? If so, how did the adults who knew what was going on react? Do you feel they did enough to keep you safe?

yes. i've been bullied for 10 years, my nightmares just end one year ago leaving the university because of this and other problems
teachers didn't care about this, seems they had empathized that people

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

yes. i've been bullied for 10 years, my nightmares just end one year ago leaving the university because of this and other problems
teachers didn't care about this, seems they had empathized that people

If you ever want to talk more about this, please PM me. I left two universities for a similar reason. Bullying is not just about elementary school kids, is it? Even adults bully--and enjoy doing it. Peace.

 

[letmeseethedeath]

If you ever want to talk more about this, please PM me. I left two universities for a similar reason. Bullying is not just about elementary school kids, is it? Even adults bully--and enjoy doing it. Peace.

i'd love to, i feel so lonely. sometimes adults hurts more than kids. life is unfair

 

[Kyrok]

I wonder about this. The few times someone used violence, either I responded effectively or just ignored when too lame.
Nevertheless, I recall being teased through elementary and junior high. I think my peers saw me as different, but I couldn't be categorized. One way or another, I have a lot of issues with rejection & being excluded. Though I'm in my 50s, I still have a need for approval/affirmation and can be socially insecure.

 

[Kyrok]

I just remembered something interesting.

There was one kid in elementary school who was held back a year. He was the only bully I recall who was violent at that point (grade 5 or 6). His parents eventually had him transferred to another school where there were more classes for the academically challenged.

Then, at some point towards the end of high school, I heard he walked out onto the highway and died... most likely suicide. I forget exactly why, but I also suspected there was some abuse at home.

It is a good thing to remember: many bullies were themselves troubled, if not victims.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

I just remembered something interesting.

There was one kid in elementary school who was held back a year. He was the only bully I recall who was violent at that point (grade 5 or 6). His parents eventually had him transferred to another school where there were more classes for the academically challenged.

Then, at some point towards the end of high school, I heard he walked out onto the highway and died... most likely suicide. I forget exactly why, but I also suspected there was some abuse at home.

It is a good thing to remember: many bullies were themselves troubled, if not victims.

There are many articles in popular and professional publications highlighting the cross-effects of bullying and the experience of being bullied. To the victims of bullies, however, their tormenters' victimhood comes as very little comfort. Oh well.

 

[Quinlor]

In my childhood, every night I prayed for that next morning never come, because I had afraid of school and my colleagues that always bolling me.

 

[WhiteRabbit]

Yes. I moved around a lot when I was younger, so I was constantly the new kid in school. I was kind of a plain jane frizzy hair misfit. It sucked, but in some ways, I think it made me a more empathetic person.

 

[Roberto]

In mid school I had a pair of fightings but I lost them all. People use to reject me because I didn't have showers and smelled bad. In bachelor people used to laugh at me, also rejected me. In part my breath was bad too. My father sometimes used hit me when I was naughty, but it was a bit extreme. He was smart because he knew how to hit hard without leaving marks. And didn't care much about me, it seems (because my lack of hygiene) and the clothes. As an adult I've got bullied without any reason by a group of people. Just for being there (they took drugs cocaine or something like that I think). My father told me not long ago, that my brother was his favorite son. I wouldn't say to my children (if I had) that I had a favorite one.

 

[Wolfjob_dayjob]

Of course. Seeing how useless adults are to stand by and watch you assaulted and how stupid the dance is and knowing 'its all like this...forever the whole institution' suuuuucks.
edit: i understood then and now. I will never pass that trauma on. I feel bad for everyone who's here. But I'm not adding more bodies to the pile and standing back while I throw it to the wolves metaphorically.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

In my childhood, every night I prayed for that next morning never come, because I had afraid of school and my colleagues that always bolling me.

I know that terror. Very sorry. Are you out of school now? Has the bullying stopped? Or has it just changed in some way (like bullying at work)?

Yes. I moved around a lot when I was younger, so I was constantly the new kid in school. I was kind of a plain jane frizzy hair misfit. It sucked, but in some ways, I think it made me a more empathetic person.

I agree x 1,000,000. Having been dumped on so much in school/life I think is the major thing that made me broadly empathetic, too. Wish I'd known you in school. It's really discouraging, though, that now we're here. Maybe something good will happen to us yet. Peace.

In mid school I had a pair of fightings but I lost them all. People use to reject me because I didn't have showers and smelled bad. In bachelor people used to laugh at me, also rejected me. In part my breath was bad too. My father sometimes used hit me when I was naughty, but it was a bit extreme. He was smart because he knew how to hit hard without leaving marks. And didn't care much about me, it seems (because my lack of hygiene) and the clothes. As an adult I've got bullied without any reason by a group of people. Just for being there (they took drugs cocaine or something like that I think). My father told me not long ago, that my brother was his favorite son. I wouldn't say to my children (if I had) that I had a favorite one.

This makes me very sad and very angry. Bullying shouldn't be allowed--in schools or anywhere else. But it's unforgivable when the bullies are parents. Man, I'm really, really sorry.

Of course. Seeing how useless adults are to stand by and watch you assaulted and how stupid the dance is and knowing 'its all like this...forever the whole institution' suuuuucks.
edit: i understood then and now. I will never pass that trauma on. I feel bad for everyone who's here. But I'm not adding more bodies to the pile and standing back while I throw it to the wolves metaphorically.

Love it!!

 

[Kyrok]

There are many articles in popular and professional publications highlighting the cross-effects of bullying and the experience of being bullied. To the victims of bullies, however, their tormenters' victimhood comes as very little comfort. Oh well.

You're right that this won't comfort many victims of more severe bullying.

My wife's mother verbally abused her for most of her childhood and so she's really sensitive to being mistreated. When she is upset about something of the sort happening at work, I encourage her to think about what is wrong with the other person to treat her so. Usually doesn't help, though.

 

[Roberto]

After my father hit me, he use to say he was sorry

 

[Begemont]

Yes, and of course no one did anything. Even had a few teachers actually participate in it so fucking yay. It was one of the things that did a lot that made me end up where I am today. What really does piss me off is that no one is willing to do anything about bullying. And that there is pretty much only sympathy for the bullies ("Oh, they might have a hard life too"). This was one of the things that made me realize that this world is rotten and beyond any help.

 

[seekingoblivion]

Actually I was bullied more at home than at school. Adult reactions involved telling me to man up or deriding me for being so sensitive. With school, after a long time of the above mentioned reactions my mom would tell a teacher and then the teacher would tell the kid(s) giving me hell to stop it. And they mostly would. At home they'd be no stopping.

 

[ithappens]

I was bullied both at school and at home, as were the few friends I had. I went to adults and nothing came of it, the school guidance counselor in middle school even told an entire group of us bullied students coming forward with evidence about other students that nothing would happen because "these students are continual problems and just don't seem like they are going to change". That's right, just leave them in the school system to terrorize others then, great. One friend of mine had the audacity to fight back at one point when she was attacked by one of these girls and they were both suspended. Just LOL at being unable to defend yourself without receiving punishment. Society needs to train its future scapegoats I guess. Can't not have any, then where would the rest of the shitty humans find their entertainment?

As far as the abuse at home, I tried to tell other adults about that too. They either were indifferent or became awkward and stopped being around me entirely, and at the time that hurt but I now understand as an adult that it's because they couldn't do anything. They didn't have any legal power to and involving themselves would have created trouble for themselves because the government is always, I repeat ALWAYS, on the side of the mother. Even when she is permanently messing her child up and creating a guaranteed monster. So yeah, I tried to use my voice, as all the cartoons and books and movies encouraged, and I found that even adult humans are absolutely useless.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

You're right that this won't comfort many victims of more severe bullying.

My wife's mother verbally abused her for most of her childhood and so she's really sensitive to being mistreated. When she is upset about something of the sort happening at work, I encourage her to think about what is wrong with the other person to treat her so. Usually doesn't help, though.

Yes, and of course no one did anything. Even had a few teachers actually participate in it so fucking yay. It was one of the things that did a lot that made me end up where I am today. What really does piss me off is that no one is willing to do anything about bullying. And that there is pretty much only sympathy for the bullies ("Oh, they might have a hard life too"). This was one of the things that made me realize that this world is rotten and beyond any help.

I couldn't agree with you more. Even when I was a kid, I heard teachers and principals and parents sticking up for the bullies. And once while at a faculty dinner party as an adult myself, I heard these two professors talking about when their son was in day care, how the day care manager would have to call them (parents) in every week because their son would beat one particular boy so badly he'd hide in terror under boxes in the room. The parents were angry with the day care center for "wasting our time" because, get this: "boys will be boys." And these are university professors. The victims are the problem because they/we inconvenience others. And the bullies are often already liked--the popular kids.

Actually I was bullied more at home than at school. Adult reactions involved telling me to man up or deriding me for being so sensitive. With school, after a long time of the above mentioned reactions my mom would tell a teacher and then the teacher would tell the kid(s) giving me hell to stop it. And they mostly would. At home they'd be no stopping.

We need an additional emoticon for ANGRY. "Man up"? Are you fking kidding me? So being "a man" is allowing a gang or bigger people to kick the sht out of you and then NOT "complain"? WTF?!

 

[JSRF]

I got bullied for a month or so, but then he went too far once (slapping me) and I threatened to report it so he gets expelled. Also blackmailed 20€ out of him lol

 

[Kyrok]

I recall one day around grade 7 where we were on a field trip to a rock quarry. One kid stood on top of the quarry and threw rocks at the weaker kids, including myself. When it was time to leave, he was on the bus first, with a smirk on his face. As I passed him, I punched him fucking hard in the face.

The next day, his friend approached me, telling me the kid knew Karate and would kick my ass. I responded with the 1980s equivalent of "bring it on," but the bully kept his distance.



I've gotten myself in trouble a few times for responding to bullies with excess aggression, but I get fucking angry when people are mistreated.

 

[iglooblimp]

Not severely I'd say, but yes. One teacher knew and defended the bullies, said that they were just pointing out my weight, even tho they were clearly making fun of it.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

One teacher knew and defended the bullies, said that they were just pointing out my weight, even tho they were clearly making fun of it.

I can't even... You know what? Looking back on my school experience, I think a lot of teachers were themselves bullies. No wonder some of them defend the popular-kids-bullies. Let's not even talk about gym teachers.

 

[ithappens]

I can't even... You know what? Looking back on my school experience, I think a lot of teachers were themselves bullies. No wonder some of them defend the popular-kids-bullies. Let's not even talk about gym teachers.

I know I'm not the person you were talking to, but I have to say that personally I find most teachers IRL to be like Principal Vernon from The Breakfast Club. They became teachers because they wanted praise and glory, or maybe because they thought they'd get the summer off, and maybe just a little because they like the feeling of having control over those weaker than them.

There were perhaps 3-4 good teachers I knew going through school. Many more were themselves bullies, like you said. And the good teachers couldn't even stand up against the school system on their own (at least in the USA). It's like a creepy cult.

 

[Roberto]

My brother was also severely bullied by my father, but he seems to assimilated it. Why one goes suicidal (me) and another one can be normal?
I'm not sure being bullied is what caused me to want to ctb.

 

[FTL.Wanderer]

There were perhaps 3-4 good teachers I knew going through school. Many more were themselves bullies, like you said. And the good teachers couldn't even stand up against the school system on their own (at least in the USA). It's like a creepy cult.

So sad but I agree.

 

[Untitled]

Yeah, I was bullied throughout my school years. At first I told grown ups about the bullying, but it just made things worse, so I stopped telling.

After many years of being bullied, I finally decided to use violence against a bully and it has been a very good decision.

 

[Aonewayticketplease]

Oh yes, at home as well as school.

My father was a weakling who couldn't intimidate anyone his own age so he made my life as miserable as he could with verbal, physical and economic abuse. By economic abuse I mean that he would destroy and damage the little that my mom had worked to provide and drained bank accounts that my grandparents had put birthday money into. He would also interfere with my food, overcooking it and adding so much stuff to it that it was really unpalatable.

At school it was getting roughed up and constant verbal threats from the boys and general bitchiness from the girls.

From about 15 years old I found that violence was the best option, I'm really surprised that I never ended up in jail considering the fact that the severity of beatings I was delivering would be considered attempted murder in most places. The bullying by the boys at school stopped pretty quickly after I stabbed one of them in the leg which required a hospital visit. The girls pretty much carried on being assholes as they knew that I wouldn't pulverise one of them.

At home the physical abuse mostly stopped after the first beating (it took a black eye and broken cheek bone to get the point across) but the other forms of abuse continued, I would get home to find that my father had slashed one of my shirts and left it on my bed and had then run away for the rest of the afternoon giving me time to cool off so that I wouldn't beat him into a hospital bed.

The teachers weren't any help at all when I needed them, in fact they seemed to give some sort of tacit approval to the way I was being treated. I can only remember 1 or 2 of them trying to help in resolving the problem.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

Yeah I was. Just the one kid. I listened to parents and teachers and avoided him and it just got worse. Finally I decided to smack him one. Break time came and I stood in front of him waiting for the abuse so I could retaliate. He was as nice as pie. Never raised a hand to me after that. But I did nothing. These days I sit and wonder if the universe said "noon, can't have you standing up to him and beating your demons." Anyway he was tough he'd almost certainly have pummeled me.

 

[sammii]

Yeah I was bullied really bad in high school. I told my mum, my mum told the school, the school did nothing. I ended up barely going to school then leaving as soon as I turned 16.

 

[Squiddy]

I was bullied really bad in middle school. The school of course did absolutely nothing and it led to my first suicidal thought at 14.