Venting Toxic Positivity Guy

[popcorn1234]

There's this person in my class, let's call him Varun for the purposes of this story.

In class, I was asked if I wanted to hang out with Varun and the other people who did the group activity with me by an older gentleman in my class.

I said yes, even though I didn't feel great (was feeling depressed and sad), because I felt like I had to be polite.

We all arrived at the pizzeria and I ordered my slice of cheese pizza.

Once I sat down, I was eating across from Varun.

Varun noticed I was sad, but I don't think he got what was going on with me.

Judging by how he reacted when he noticed I was in a bad mental state, he seems like someone who only likes cheerful people. He feels uncomfortable with anyone expressing any deeper emotion.

That's why I don't want to tell him anything about my mental health nor do I want him asking.

I don't trust him.

And, quite honestly, I don't trust anyone else I was hanging out with.

I used to be very vocal about my mental health conditions, now I am more discerning on who I tell because I have been burned before.

 

[r.m.216]

Frustrating part is they don't actually have answers or help, it's just platitudes.

 

[getoutgirl]

My party trick is to get sad and quiet and fill the room with awkwardness and then disappear.

I get it tho. The handful of times I've agreed to go to a party, diner or any social event out of politeness end up that way. I get people like Varun who sees someone alone and down and tries to cheer em up and help them out their solitude, it's good intentions usually by good people who maybe don't know better. Or don't know how to deal with deeper issues. And we sometimes don't want to communicate them either. Isolation is comforting, sometimes it's what we need and not a pizza party, and Trust is hard, and not something we owe to anybody. I don't go to any social gathering anymore, I've learned to spare myself that, and spare it for people like Varun too. I agree with you that we shouldn't have to be 100% open with anyone about our state, or force it, if full isolation isn't healthy either. We can discern and see what is best for us at a given moment and with a given person. That's okay.

All this to say, I hope your cheese pizza tasted good at least <3