well your ex was right you should die because your anti-social and ugly and no one wants that around

[want2dienow]

,

 

[Un-]

There's nothing that really depresses me anymore, but this thread fucked me up. I mean you call yourself a slug.. And you say people don't want you anywhere.. And I mean this thread confirms it. I mean, everywhere I see your comments or whatever, no one interacts with it. It's like they ignore you.

Maybe you're guilty of some heinous atrocity that everyone knows about except me, but I can't help but feel so, so horrible seeing how little people seem to care about you, @want2dienow.

Anything I'll really say won't come off as genuine because you don't know me, but I will say that no one deserves to suffer like you are. I'm so sorry that you are. You're not a slug.

 

[Euthanza]

Probably people just don't know how to respond to (.)

 

[ge0rge]

valid

 

[nopride86]

It's unfortunate that the ugly must suffer at the hands of social scrutiny. That not being good looking is like handing people a free-for-all pass for abuse. And that ugliness on the outside so often turns inside as well due to constantly receiving poor treatment. None of it is deserved, you didn't deserve it and it isn't fair. Idk what else to say. But your ex is a piece of crap for even telling you that.

 

[blackwidow]

it's a good job she's your ex... vile words to say to anyone

 

[theboy]

Foolish words deaf ears :)

 

[WhatPowerIs]

You edited your message but your ex sounds like a piece of shit. Ignore them. I know what it feels like to feel ugly and rotten but listening to words like that does not help us.

 

[want2dienow]

There's nothing that really depresses me anymore, but this thread fucked me up. I mean you call yourself a slug.. And you say people don't want you anywhere.. And I mean this thread confirms it. I mean, everywhere I see your comments or whatever, no one interacts with it. It's like they ignore you.

Maybe you're guilty of some heinous atrocity that everyone knows about except me, but I can't help but feel so, so horrible seeing how little people seem to care about you, @want2dienow.

Anything I'll really say won't come off as genuine because you don't know me, but I will say that no one deserves to suffer like you are. I'm so sorry that you are. You're not a slug.

i'm not. :(how right you are i didnt think a third would agree ;i was given this surname slug by my ex
all i can do is fk until sn arrives

valid

the one i live with told me these the last night
he not my partner either

it's a good job she's your ex... vile words to say to anyone

its a guy

You edited your message but your ex sounds like a piece of shit. Ignore them. I know what it feels like to feel ugly and rotten but listening to words like that does not help us.

no it was just the topic
im used to it now

 

[Hollowillow]

,

I Don't get the joke. (Edited oh shit it's serious? People say that to break up & prevent lingering attachment. Being a mean can make it easier to move on. If they truly belueved you were ugly they wouldn't have touched you.) I kicked out my ex for being utterly not affectionate & touching me in anger... To hurt me & dominate me like a thing for saying no. Zero tolerance for that shit. (Maybe she left because she felt linely while you played videogames like an introvert instead of going clubbing along with her extroverted self. Met people like that & lived it before. Been harassed by ex, so crushing someone who won't let go can be a desperate move. But sure is mean)

 

[Forever Sleep]

I expect this is going to sound accusatory but I don't intend to mean it like that- have all your relationships been abusive/toxic? Either verbally/physically or psychologically? From earlier posts, it sounds like you feel like you deserve to be treated like this. I can tell you no one deserves to be abused. Everyone on here can tell you the same. I guess I wonder if you realise it too- maybe that's why you are sharing your story?

The terrible part is though- ONLY you can stop it. I don't know the steps to do this but I do know there is a lot of help out there for domestic abuse (because sadly- it seeks to be so common). I imagine working on self confidence and worth is a big part- if you see yourself as worthless, the worst people in society will see and exploit this. I hope you are able to get yourself out of these situations and begin to see that you have the same rights as everyone else.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

Your ex sounds like an abusive pos. Anyone who would sit there and talk down to their partner in such a vile way by calling you ugly and wishing death upon you is sick in the head. He's the problem here, not you. You don't deserve to be treated this way, and it's revolting how your previous partners have taken advantage of your vulnerability and pain to exploit you.

 

[blackwidow]

its a guy

same applies... horrible horrible thing to say to anyone..

 

[want2dienow]

I Don't get the joke.

its not

I expect this is going to sound accusatory but I don't intend to mean it like that- have all your relationships been abusive/toxic? Either verbally/physically or psychologically? From earlier posts, it sounds like you feel like you deserve to be treated like this. I can tell you no one deserves to be abused. Everyone on here can tell you the same. I guess I wonder if you realise it too- maybe that's why you are sharing your story?

The terrible part is though- ONLY you can stop it. I don't know the steps to do this but I do know there is a lot of help out there for domestic abuse (because sadly- it seeks to be so common). I imagine working on self confidence and worth is a big part- if you see yourself as worthless, the worst people in society will see and exploit this. I hope you are able to get yourself out of these situations and begin to see that you have the same rights as everyone else.

yes i can it's only called SN
and no, alexander is my ex. zach is not a partner. i was homeless before staying here
if i hadn't found ryan i would've been dead in october last year. but thats a whole different story

Your ex sounds like an abusive pos. Anyone who would sit there and talk down to their partner in such a vile way by calling you ugly and wishing death upon you is sick in the head. He's the problem here, not you. You don't deserve to be treated this way, and it's revolting how your previous partners have taken advantage of your vulnerability and pain to exploit you.

he was; he also said i should 'call the hotlines for mentals' when i simply feeling sad. because 'how i dare i burden him'.
it came again after some media of FK; i hoped it didnt get worse. not that i have to worry anymore since SN is on the way.
i lost too much to him. and the things he's said and done did leave everlasting scars. everyone's different and the things he do can leave permanent scars, others may not, but me it did

same applies... horrible horrible thing to say to anyone..

as a a scar it never leaves

If they truly belueved you were ugly they wouldn't have touched you.)

he truly believed it. he found my money and marriage green card attractive

 

[Cathy Ames]

he truly believed it. he found my money and marriage green card attractive

There are some people who, no matter WHAT they are saying (good/bad/indifferent) you can't count on it being the truth. Most of the time, they say whatever it is that is the most likely to get them what they want--sometimes this is the actual truth or even a very hurtful thing that isn't true. When angry (due to lack of cooperation in getting them what they want) they probably say whatever is the most hurtful. Addicts can be like this, and probably some others. So... anyhow... I am skeptical that this is really what Alexander truly believed. Most likely it is the thing that he wishes for YOU to believe, and it is not true.

And other people punch down when they're having their own problems. Most often it is the people who are already down and out who get this the most. I cannot say for sure this is what is going on with Zach(?), but maybe?

I am very sorry about all this truly crappy and difficult stuff that is happening to you. You are long overdue to catch some kind of break.

 

[Hollowillow]

its not



yes i can it's only called SN
and no, alexander is my ex. zach is not a partner. i was homeless before staying here
if i hadn't found ryan i would've been dead in october last year. but thats a whole different story


he was; he also said i should 'call the hotlines for mentals' when i simply feeling sad. because 'how i dare i burden him'.
it came again after some media of FK; i hoped it didnt get worse. not that i have to worry anymore since SN is on the way.
i lost too much to him. and the things he's said and done did leave everlasting scars. everyone's different and the things he do can leave permanent scars, others may not, but me it did


as a a scar it never leaves

he truly believed it. he found my money and marriage green card attractive

I wish you could live alone & free... or find a nice roomate into self care & meditate away bad exes... Or some stuff that I can't do myself. I don't know how to find inner peace... Kick some mean balls before you go?

 

[suicidesheep31.1]

only reading the title takes my breath off. I suppose that someone said that and this person is really rude and insensitive. It really makes me angry. Hug

 

[want2dienow]

There are some people who, no matter WHAT they are saying (good/bad/indifferent) you can't count on it being the truth. Most of the time, they say whatever it is that is the most likely to get them what they want--sometimes this is the actual truth or even a very hurtful thing that isn't true. When angry (due to lack of cooperation in getting them what they want) they probably say whatever is the most hurtful. Addicts can be like this, and probably some others. So... anyhow... I am skeptical that this is really what Alexander truly believed. Most likely it is the thing that he wishes for YOU to believe, and it is not true.

And other people punch down when they're having their own problems. Most often it is the people who are already down and out who get this the most. I cannot say for sure this is what is going on with Zach(?), but maybe?

I am very sorry about all this truly crappy and difficult stuff that is happening to you. You are long overdue to catch some kind of break.

I've known Alexander for 2 years, yes he meant it. There's no skeptic of anything. He had his goal, and I was nothing but a slug.
It's why he suggested i go out by revolver; something fast not slow. He came here, told me about his issue with asylum and saw to me, an opportunity.

you haven't seen the vile things alexander has done to me, im getting ptsd just like last year he does the vile, i'm deserving of it, he's in the right, im in the wrong, hence why i deserved it, and thus why i'm here trying to kill myself and leave
i'm glad i found IC for SN; this suicide is long overdue, two years to be exact.
i tried to do so much in that span to leave, move grow, i got to the end , which was fk only to be reminded of how futile it is stay alive.
i have a cancerous mental agony. my head hurts everyday, i'm reminded everyday by his voice what i am, a slug.
my heart pounds randomly yet cant even kill me itself. so i have a window of time for sn per my research here. i dont have much else to say when it arrives, not that i have anything of value

I wish you could live alone & free... or find a nice roomate into self care & meditate away bad exes... Or some stuff that I can't do myself. I don't know how to find inner peace... Kick some mean balls before you go?

maybe sometime earleir the year i could've agree
but i realzie this is better that being out there, becuase that was worse. i'm paid him with my body. a roof over my head.

only reading the title takes my breath off. I suppose that someone said that and this person is really rude and insensitive. It really makes me angry. Hug

its sad i cant feel hugs anymore. sorry

 

[Cathy Ames]

you haven't seen the vile things alexander has done to me, im getting ptsd just like last year he does the vile, i'm deserving of it, he's in the right, im in the wrong, hence why i deserved it, and thus why i'm here trying to kill myself and leave

@want2dienow Obviously I don't (and can't) knew everything. But I have read many of your posts here and your everlasting scar. I assure you, I HAVE seen more than enough to know that his opinion should not count AT. ALL. Period. No, you are not deserving of it. Not even close. With regards to what he has done and said to you, you are NOT in the wrong no matter what he might say. All you have done is fall in love with a person who only wanted to use you and never deserved you in the first place. Very, very many people have done this exact same thing. [I have.]

I totally understand wanting to leave. Believe me. But that decision should be made by you and not something you do FOR HIM. He does not deserve your life, and that's one of the things in the world that I know for sure.

I also understand what it is like to come to believe a version of events (and a version of yourself) that comes from someone else and is a LIE. That's what you are doing, and I hate that. From what I have seen, your life is in no way the life of a SLUG. You're not a slug! You are a creative, artistic person with a vision and the self-discipline to carry it out against a freaking metric crap ton of adversity. I know this because I have seen you--even recently--still working on FK (and FK is amazing!). Alexander's behavior is parasitic, and here YOU are, trying to bring a dream and a vision into the world. That's quite the opposite.

So anyhow. You didn't ask for advice, but my wish for you is that you get some treatment for the ptsd he has given you. I know some states in the US have services available for lower income people (although difficult to track down sometimes). I really wish you would and could do that. Take care.

 

[virgilwalks]

there are probably not enough adequate words to express or appreciate the pain and sadness. your life has worth. You have worth above and beyond those who suggest you don't. You do.

 

[want2dienow]

So anyhow. You didn't ask for advice, but my wish for you is that you get some treatment for the ptsd he has given you. I know some states in the US have services available for lower income people (although difficult to track down sometimes). I really wish you would and could do that. Take care.

ivealready done that over the course of two years.
before i met ryan i was in remission; and still within that another new treatment for the same and more.
Presently right now the result of all things massacred in me.

I also understand what it is like to come to believe a version of events (and a version of yourself) that comes from someone else and is a LIE. That's what you are doing, and I hate that. From what I have seen, your life is in no way the life of a SLUG. You're not a slug! You are a creative, artistic person with a vision and the self-discipline to carry it out against a freaking metric crap ton of adversity. I know this because I have seen you--even recently--still working on FK (and FK is amazing!). Alexander's behavior is parasitic, and here YOU are, trying to bring a dream and a vision into the world. That's quite the opposite.

but in this world, unless there's money to back it up, its considered shit or utter failure.
and this what makes me sad; knowing that i will never be able to
fk is dead its time for me to go
now you see, how i'm actually a slug; a failure at that and past suicide attempts, as if i couldn't get it right then, but im reading the info threads so i dont fail sn for all sakes' peace

there are probably not enough adequate words to express or appreciate the pain and sadness. your life has worth. You have worth above and beyond those who suggest you don't. You do.

on the outside it can be seen like that, behind the scene its not. i stopped letting my delusions fool me
i've seen how it worsens my pain

 

[Cathy Ames]

I'm really sorry that these rotten things have happened to you. Some people never seem to catch a break. To be clear... you will not ever convince me to see you as a slug. To me, you are a creative artist, and I do have objective proof of that. I'll remember, even if you take it all down. I wish for you to find peace and be well, whatever happens.