Well... As expected my psychiatrist called the police on me

[Catching_the_bus]

I skipped my appointment today because I just don't have the energy for human interaction... I knew there was a high chance that my psychiatrist would call the police so it was no surprise when they came banging on my door at 11 am what he doesn't know is that his decision to do that was the thing that has just pushed me over the edge.... I am tired of this... I am tired of feeling like I am not in control of my own life. I am tired of being forced into treatments that don't work. I was able to convince the police that I was safe but to be completely honest I am not... I don't WANT to get better... I don't WANT his "help" This life is hell and I don't want to be here. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember and I am finally 10000% sure that I am going to CTB I still have some SN left from my last attempt now it's just trying to make sure i have enough time to succeed this time... I'm done with this life... I am done with this useless existence... And I am DONE with forced therapy and medications... My life has absolutely no meaning. I wake up, hate every moment of existing, go to bed, and repeat... I refuse to continue this cycle any longer... This is MY life and I don't owe them shit!!! Now I just need to wait for the right time... FUCK THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM!!!

 

[FuneralCry]

It really is so disgusting how pro suffering people call the police on suicidal people just to torture them more, it's true that this world is hell and it's just so wrong how not wanting to be here isn't seen as being an acceptable option. It's extreme cruelty to try and force people to stay here, I also very much despise existing and it's very much understandable wishing to finally be free from it all.

 

[soontobedone]

I'm sorry you went through that. I'm at a loss for words but I'm here.

 

[BornHated]

It's so sad that that stuff like this happens because naturally people in this position usually don't have much power to defend themselves. Good intentions or not, sometimes the system really does mess you up.
I'm sorry you're going through this BS probably feeling like a caged animal. I wish I knew how to help.

 

[Lost in a Dream]

At least you got the police to go away. I'm afraid of surviving my own attempt when I do it, just because the forced treatment afterwards will only make things worse. I'm sorry you have to go through this now, but hopefully you can find a way to make your own decision about this, without the forced lifers getting in the way.

 

[Catching_the_bus]

My mom tried to end herself and was put in a mental hospital. She got the help she needed, time and effort to find the right meds, but it helped. She's doing a lot better and wants to live. Please don't do it. There's always another solution.

While I understand that there is indeed help for SOME people there is none for me... I have been wanting to Ctb since I was 10 years old...I have been to the mental hospital over 20 times in that time and my last hospitalization was in my states highest security hospital..I have been on numerous medications, I have done DBT, CBT, and MBT multiple times with no help! I have even allowed them to try ECT with no results... While I understand that some people can get help and be happy in this awful world not everyone can be saved... Surely not me... Thank you for your kind words though.... Just know that I didn't come to the CTB decision without trying everything else first... I just truly hate living and that's okay! I have come to terms with it

 

[Lost in a Dream]

My mom tried to end herself and was put in a mental hospital. She got the help she needed, time and effort to find the right meds, but it helped. She's doing a lot better and wants to live. Please don't do it. There's always another solution.

Even if it's true that other solutions exist, that shouldn't give mental health professionals the right to force treatment on people. @Catching_the_bus has every right to be upset by having this done to them, whether they decide to end their life or not.

Hopefully your mom continues to do well though. She's one of the lucky ones IMO.

 

[Shadowlord900]

Sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm relieved to read you got the police to go away.

Do you know who has set up the appointments with the psychiatrist for you? If the appointments are not working for you, it's best to just not arrange another appointment. Since you managed to convince the police you aren't in any danger, your psychiatrist shouldn't be able to force you to go to their appointments.

 

[Catching_the_bus]

Sorry you had to go through all of that. I'm relieved to read you got the police to go away.

Do you know who has set up the appointments with the psychiatrist for you? If the appointments are not working for you, it's best to just not arrange another appointment. Since you managed to convince the police you aren't in any danger, your psychiatrist shouldn't be able to force you to go to their appointments.

Unfortunately I am the one who set up the appointments because it was the only way to escape being sent to the hospital again! I have tried to cancel my appointments but because I am in such a bad space mentally he says the alternative would be involuntarily hospitalization... It's not fair... I truly just want peace

 

[nonialabaster]

I skipped my appointment today because I just don't have the energy for human interaction... I knew there was a high chance that my psychiatrist would call the police so it was no surprise when they came banging on my door at 11 am what he doesn't know is that his decision to do that was the thing that has just pushed me over the edge.... I am tired of this... I am tired of feeling like I am not in control of my own life. I am tired of being forced into treatments that don't work. I was able to convince the police that I was safe but to be completely honest I am not... I don't WANT to get better... I don't WANT his "help" This life is hell and I don't want to be here. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember and I am finally 10000% sure that I am going to CTB I still have some SN left from my last attempt now it's just trying to make sure i have enough time to succeed this time... I'm done with this life... I am done with this useless existence... And I am DONE with forced therapy and medications... My life has absolutely no meaning. I wake up, hate every moment of existing, go to bed, and repeat... I refuse to continue this cycle any longer... This is MY life and I don't owe them shit!!! Now I just need to wait for the right time... FUCK THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM!!!

I am so sorry this happened to you.
A few years ago, I was getting "help" from MHMR, because I didn't have health insurance at that time. At first, it was okay. But then, I was told that I'd have to go to a clinic that was not on any bus route (I didn't have a car at the time). I was distraught on the phone with the psychologist, who promptly called the cops. They banged on my door and told me I had a choice between 72 hours in the county hospital's psych ward or jail! I live in Texas, and they all look at mental illness as some kind of weakness. So I got to spend the next three days locked up with some seriously ill people, all of us in a common room, where fights between schizophrenics broke out constantly.
So, yeah. Never again will I trust the mental health system.

 

[hungry_ghost]

It really is so disgusting how pro suffering people call the police on suicidal people just to torture them more,

Especially in the US where cops are largely psychopaths who can murder with impunity.

So many mental health wellness checks go wrong because the individual has an anxiety attack and then the pigs get trigger happy.

 

[Catching_the_bus]

But this world is




Earth can be cruel, but it is also very beautiful and worth living for. The human mind is incredibly complicated and fragile. There are so many things that you and millions of others do (including myself) that only worsen depression. Understanding the mind and what influences it can help you relieve your sadness, cope with it, and even solve it. It's worth it, it always is. Look into psychology. This website is what is called an echo chamber. Your suicidal thoughts become more and more extreme the more you're active here, but you just don't know it.

While I appreciate your efforts in trying to "save" me I don't think you are quite understanding where I am coming from... Unlike you I do not see the "beauty" in this world and I do not see how anything in this life can be "worth it". I have gone through absolute torture the past 14 years trying to see the value in this life and I can't... I have exhausted every avenue of treatment including letting them literally shock my brain over and over again in hopes to "reset" it. If you think there is beauty in this world and it is worth it then I am glad that you are in a better place then I am... But 14 years of blood, sweat, and tears trying and fighting to see the "beauty" in this hellish world is quite enough... How much suffering should I have to go through before I can exercise my right to die? My illness may not be physical but it is indeed "terminal" there is no end to my suffering other the eternal sleep

 

[SilentSadness]

What a repulsive psychiatrist, he must think you're his slave to call the police on you for missing an appointment. People who abuse others that way have no place being paid to "help" other poor individuals, but that is sadly the inevitable fate of those who interact with the system. I wish suicidal people weren't treated so badly and instead had their wishes granted in this rotten world, unfortunately there is not even an attempt to understand. I hope you find peace from this aching torment you experience.

 

[acaiblueberry]

Mentally ill people, especially in crisis, have a very high likelihood of being killed by the police. Sometimes it feels like the world only wants to prevent CTB so it can kill us instead.

 

[foreversad16]

While I appreciate your efforts in trying to "save" me I don't think you are quite understanding where I am coming from... Unlike you I do not see the "beauty" in this world and I do not see how anything in this life can be "worth it". I have gone through absolute torture the past 14 years trying to see the value in this life and I can't... I have exhausted every avenue of treatment including letting them literally shock my brain over and over again in hopes to "reset" it. If you think there is beauty in this world and it is worth it then I am glad that you are in a better place then I am... But 14 years of blood, sweat, and tears trying and fighting to see the "beauty" in this hellish world is quite enough... How much suffering should I have to go through before I can exercise my right to die? My illness may not be physical but it is indeed "terminal" there is no end to my suffering other the eternal sleep

I hear you and am so sad that you've gone through so much. You're obviously trying so very hard to get better, massive respect for that. I completely understand where you're coming from. Big hug to you. Try not to react to what happened today, that looks like trying to take back some control of your life to me. You didn't want to keep the appointment, you did speak with the police and you are still at home Where you wanted to be.

 

[wellherewego_]

Mentally ill people, especially in crisis, have a very high likelihood of being killed by the police. Sometimes it feels like the world only wants to prevent CTB so it can kill us instead.

What would one have to do to be killed by the police besides hurting others. I know most of us don't want to intentionally hurt others. However, there is such a chance that police will not shoot to kill and there is such a possibility of survival in these scenarios. This is more common place than is shown on tv or media. I believe TV shows a lot of possibilities of CTB by police but the heinous crimes that need to be committed in order to die that way have to be super intense.

I know a lot of us are sick and tired here, but very few of us want to hurt anyone but ourselves. CTB by cops would include committing such terrible crimes.

What would one have to do to be killed by the police besides hurting others. I know most of us don't want to intentionally hurt others. However, there is such a chance that police will not shoot to kill and there is such a possibility of survival in these scenarios. This is more common place than is shown on tv or media. I believe TV shows a lot of possibilities of CTB by police but the heinous crimes that need to be committed in order to die that way have to be super intense.

I know a lot of us are sick and tired here, but very few of us want to hurt anyone but ourselves. CTB by cops would include committing such terrible crimes.

I know for myself even if I was to commit a non-violent crime like vandalism, holding hostages or something silly like that, it would be way more difficult that just CTB by myself and would more than likely result in arrest and imprisonment. Not death.


Long story short CTB by cop = bad idea

 

[Lost in a Dream]

Mentally ill people, especially in crisis, have a very high likelihood of being killed by the police. Sometimes it feels like the world only wants to prevent CTB so it can kill us instead.

They don't want us to die peacefully on our own terms. They want us to live to old age and die horrible deaths in a hospital bed like everyone else. Sounds like the very definition of pro-life doesn't it?

 

[donttellme2live]

Talking to a psychiatrist is worthless, when you have plans to CTB. You can't tell them about your plans because they'll have you locked up in a psyche ward.

 

[sorella santini]

Yes, this is why I am not in psychotherapy. I would have to lie and there's no point to in wasting everyone's time.
I value your perspective from having been through it.

 

[WorthlessCoward]

Sorry to say but I am more amazed that your psychiatrist can call the cops on you for not showing and the cops actually go to your house. Maybe it's because mine doesn't give a fuck (which is true) or because I live in a third world shithole where the cops are just as corrupt as the thieves (which is also true) but here, that would never, ever happen.

 

[SolomonKado]

I skipped my appointment today because I just don't have the energy for human interaction... I knew there was a high chance that my psychiatrist would call the police so it was no surprise when they came banging on my door at 11 am what he doesn't know is that his decision to do that was the thing that has just pushed me over the edge.... I am tired of this... I am tired of feeling like I am not in control of my own life. I am tired of being forced into treatments that don't work. I was able to convince the police that I was safe but to be completely honest I am not... I don't WANT to get better... I don't WANT his "help" This life is hell and I don't want to be here. I have had these thoughts for as long as I can remember and I am finally 10000% sure that I am going to CTB I still have some SN left from my last attempt now it's just trying to make sure i have enough time to succeed this time... I'm done with this life... I am done with this useless existence... And I am DONE with forced therapy and medications... My life has absolutely no meaning. I wake up, hate every moment of existing, go to bed, and repeat... I refuse to continue this cycle any longer... This is MY life and I don't owe them shit!!! Now I just need to wait for the right time... FUCK THE MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM!!!

The way this world is turned into is professional people are scared of getting sued. It's easier and safer for them to call the police then it is for them to check on you themselves. If police go there to check on you then when the psychiatrist is questioned they can say that you even lied to the police so they don't get into trouble themselves.

This world is all about people covering their ass then it is about really helping and caring for someone.

 

[J&L383]

While I understand that there is indeed help for SOME people there is none for me... I have been wanting to Ctb since I was 10 years old...I have been to the mental hospital over 20 times in that time and my last hospitalization was in my states highest security hospital..I have been on numerous medications, I have done DBT, CBT, and MBT multiple times with no help! I have even allowed them to try ECT with no results... While I understand that some people can get help and be happy in this awful world not everyone can be saved... Surely not me... Thank you for your kind words though.... Just know that I didn't come to the CTB decision without trying everything else first... I just truly hate living and that's okay! I have come to terms with it

With all that, you have tried and tried! way more than I would have had the patience for. It does sound like you've made peace with your life circumstances, which I admire.