
TydalWave
Brutally Self-Aware
- Sep 20, 2022
- 436
Hi everyone.
If you've read my posts, you may know I've been going through a rough time since a friend of mine passed away on this site.
It hit me harder than I expected. I was chatting with them up until the moment they left, listening to the same music as them. In the moment, I just wanted to comfort them. They had already made their choice, said their goodbyes and started the process. And when I got my goodbye, I asked if they may want to chat until the end.
They did.
The next week was up and down for me. I felt happy they were out of their misery. I felt good about what I did, and that I could experience that with them, because I find it so fucked up that when you die of old age, your whole family is there for you but when you CTB it is always alone. I didn't want them to go out alone.
So I am on a complete down one day. And I have this weird feeling to reach out to a friend of mine from high school who I haven't talked to in years. Idk what it is, I attributed it to the weird mental state I was in and it probably reminded me of my childhood adolescence where the ups and downs were more normalized.
Fast forward two days and I get a call out of the blue from this friend. I answer obviously. I tell him I was just thinking about him yesterday, how weird. He was thinking about me too. He had recently spent some time in a mental hospital for suicidal ideations and was clean and sober now and had this feeling like he wanted to reconnect with me.
We hung out for a bit and went for a drive. He wanted to play me this album that he had been vibing with lately. And he play's the same album that my friend played for me as they CTB.
This is not an iconic album by any means. The band has 130k subscribers and the album is from 2015. The odds of him wanting to play it are so slim to me that I just know this is divine intervention. Like I was a full believer in chaos theory and an atheist most of my life. But what are your thoughts here? How weird is that?
If you've read my posts, you may know I've been going through a rough time since a friend of mine passed away on this site.
It hit me harder than I expected. I was chatting with them up until the moment they left, listening to the same music as them. In the moment, I just wanted to comfort them. They had already made their choice, said their goodbyes and started the process. And when I got my goodbye, I asked if they may want to chat until the end.
They did.
The next week was up and down for me. I felt happy they were out of their misery. I felt good about what I did, and that I could experience that with them, because I find it so fucked up that when you die of old age, your whole family is there for you but when you CTB it is always alone. I didn't want them to go out alone.
So I am on a complete down one day. And I have this weird feeling to reach out to a friend of mine from high school who I haven't talked to in years. Idk what it is, I attributed it to the weird mental state I was in and it probably reminded me of my childhood adolescence where the ups and downs were more normalized.
Fast forward two days and I get a call out of the blue from this friend. I answer obviously. I tell him I was just thinking about him yesterday, how weird. He was thinking about me too. He had recently spent some time in a mental hospital for suicidal ideations and was clean and sober now and had this feeling like he wanted to reconnect with me.
We hung out for a bit and went for a drive. He wanted to play me this album that he had been vibing with lately. And he play's the same album that my friend played for me as they CTB.
This is not an iconic album by any means. The band has 130k subscribers and the album is from 2015. The odds of him wanting to play it are so slim to me that I just know this is divine intervention. Like I was a full believer in chaos theory and an atheist most of my life. But what are your thoughts here? How weird is that?