• ⚠️ UK Access Block Notice: Beginning July 1, 2025, this site will no longer be accessible from the United Kingdom. This is a voluntary decision made by the site's administrators. We were not forced or ordered to implement this block. If you're located in the UK, we recommend using a VPN to maintain access.

StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
This weekend I read about two suicides. One in the state where I live - a 50 year old woman who according to her obituary had everything going for her and the man in charge of Marta in Atlanta, GA. He stood in front of a train. I'm envious but torn. They are no longer in any pain, no one can ever hurt them again - no worries. But there's this stupid little voice in my head that keeps telling me to keep going - keep going. I've had this battle for so long. I'm so tired of the battle between life and death. I've heard that people who decided to ctb are at peace with their decision, there are no doubts in their mind. They live out their time the way they want. So why do I keep questioning my survival?
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: It'sNotLookingGood, WhiteRabbit, Crazy4u and 1 other person
Faraknur

Faraknur

Member
Dec 15, 2021
73
Well it could be one of two things and sometimes they correlate. Either your Survival Instinct is not degraded enough by the suffering that you cant bring yourself to do it.
Or you have deep down something you want to do. You could ruminate on that a while. But if you dont find anything then you either have to just do it even if your body screams he wants to live or wait a while until your body really does not have the strength to scream anymore. I hope whatever you decide will bring you peace. Love you :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: It'sNotLookingGood and Crazy4u
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
43,924
I understand that it is hard to carry on when you are tired of everything. When I hear about people who ctb, I am always envious as they had the courage to end their suffering and they are now at peace. Whatever happens, I wish you the best. I can imagine it must be tiring being trapped between life and death.
 
Crazy4u

Crazy4u

Enlightened
Sep 29, 2021
1,318
"had everything going for her" is a funny statement. I don't know what to say
 
StarryStarry

StarryStarry

Cat Lady
Oct 25, 2021
749
"had everything going for her" is a funny statement. I don't know what to say
I agree. Why does someone kill themself if they have everything going for them? I would assume that they were clueless as to this woman's pain. They didn't have a funeral.
 
Snake of Eden

Snake of Eden

“Ye shall be as gods..🍎 🐍”
Jun 22, 2021
2,473
"had everything going for her" is a funny statement. I don't know what to say
It sounds more like objection and whining than something that should go into an obituary
 
H

Hurt

Paragon
Nov 13, 2020
905
I will probably ctb on a weekend. Feel more suicidal because everyone has a life weekend but I dont. It sucks.
 

Similar threads

digitalblackhole
Replies
21
Views
1K
Suicide Discussion
WhatCouldHaveBeen32
W
D
Replies
0
Views
162
Suicide Discussion
Depressed&Stressed
D
missedmybus
Venting My life
Replies
4
Views
398
Offtopic
missedmybus
missedmybus