Very sorry you are in this position. Ods are very unpredictable and most of the times not fatal. You really have to do some research to figure out doses, otherwise you will end up with organ damage and nothing else. Sn, while not a drug but rather a compound used as a food preservative, is a popular method. Nembutal (N), is a great one but unfortunately almost impossible to get. If I were to go the drug route, I would try to get my hands on some (high purity) fent. But again ods can be unpredictable and unreliable. There are definitely better methods out there. Whatever you decided to do I wish you the best of luck.