Ways I've messed up ctb

[IWantToSleep]

1. Getting drunk and hospitalised outside with SN in my backpack.

2. Getting SN and then throwing it away because I got anxious.

3. Telling my family I ordered SN.

Do I really want to die? What the fuck am I doing?

 

[FuneralCry]

It is hard to take our own lives, due to the SI and the fact that other people try to stop us doing it at all costs. Those factors do hold me back.

 

[Worndown]

Not wanting to live and not wanting to die are competing emotions. It might be good to take a long look at your life and try to find the good elements that can make it worth living. You already know the reasons to die. This might find the definition you seek.

 

[mossyfox]

Cries for help. feelings you wanna die but some last tries that maybe if some people care enough you will keep trying. survival instinct telling you to give life more chances. either they listen to your cries for help and your are satisfied and feel like sticking it out more or eventually it wears you down how little they care.

 

[NasiGoreng]

Got drunk and suddenly felt happy, that messed up for me. Never drinking again if im ctb..

 

[beefbaby]

Got drunk and suddenly felt happy, that messed up for me. Never drinking again if im ctb..

Alcohol clouds judgment and you really want a clear head if you're gonna ctb. That said I can't imagine NOT having that final drink and last smoke before I say goodbye.

 

[BrokenArrow]

Are you still going to rehab? I think I remember you saying it in another thread

 

[beefbaby]

Me? Not at the moment, no.

 

[BrokenArrow]

Me? Not at the moment, no.

Sorry, I meant OP! I should've clarified. I seem to remember them mentioning a 3 month rehab programme

 

[Worndown]

Got drunk and suddenly felt happy, that messed up for me. Never drinking again if im ctb..

If alcohol can make you happy, you should investigate your other options. It might be that CTB does not have to be in your future.

 

[NasiGoreng]

Alcohol clouds judgment and you really want a clear head if you're gonna ctb. That said I can't imagine NOT having that final drink and last smoke before I say goodbye.

If alcohol can make you happy, you should investigate your other options. It might be that CTB does not have to be in your future.

Short term happiness long term pain...

 

[IWantToSleep]

Sorry, I meant OP! I should've clarified. I seem to remember them mentioning a 3 month rehab programme

I wondered narcissiticly if anyone remembered me/my posts, I'm glad someone does, I don't know why, but anyway. There's been a slight hiccup in the rehab plan but I'm not a full blown alcoholic anyway so it's not a huge deal but I'll update everyone when my situation changes, I'll follow you btw.

 

[BrokenArrow]

I wondered narcissiticly if anyone remembered me/my posts, I'm glad someone does, I don't know why, but anyway. There's been a slight hiccup in the rehab plan but I'm not a full blown alcoholic anyway so it's not a huge deal but I'll update everyone when my situation changes, I'll follow you btw.

Yeah I remember you saying you were worried what you said to your sister when you were drunk - I think I remember coz I'm familiar with the terror of waking up from being blackout drunk - it's a horrible feeling isn't it?

I control myself now when I'm around other people, but goddamn did I embarrass myself a bunch of times over the years.

Was everything good with your sis?

 

[IWantToSleep]

Yeah I remember you saying you were worried what you said to your sister when you were drunk - I think I remember coz I'm familiar with the terror of waking up from being blackout drunk - it's a horrible feeling isn't it?

I control myself now when I'm around other people, but goddamn did I embarrass myself a bunch of times over the years.

Was everything good with your sis?

Yeah, we're back talking, still drinking though, what can I say. I'm recovering from a night of drinking now, what the fuck will be in store in the future for me.

 

[BrokenArrow]

Yeah, we're back talking, still drinking though, what can I say. I'm recovering from a night of drinking now, what the fuck will be in store in the future for me.

Good to hear you're still on speaking terms with her. Alcohol makes it way too easy to wreck friendships/relationships

Feel free to DM me if you ever just want to vent