Venting Watching it unfold

[struggles_inc]

Some time ago I wrote a post about my friend getting into a questionable relationship. After listening to your advice, I distanced myself from the situation and did not try to "help" that in any way. Sooo… here's the sequel!

Sorry for being so sarcastic, it's the only way I can cope. Grab your popcorn, because my friend cut communication practically altogether. Not just with me, with others too. We exchange a couple words per day if I'm lucky.

Isn't that just fucking great? Another friend crushes on someone so hard they forget I (and others for that matter) exist.
And I play the waiting game again, already knowing that they come right back when it all crashes.

I don't know if I have the right to be mad, but damn this is infuriating. Dumping me for a girlfriend again. AGAIN. Should I accept them back? Because I frankly don't want to.

I'm fed up with this roller coaster of a friendship. I'm done feeling lonely and hoping for their support while they DECIDE whether to pay some attention or not.

I'm done being lonely. Fuck it.
Hopefully they marry.
I am not a good friend and fuck it too. I don't want to ever suffer because of that moronic stuff.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

I think we often make allowances for the stupidity of people we call friends, compared to the allowances we give to other people who arent.
Having said that, it doesnt mean our own patience is infinite, and sometimes it really is sad to see someone repeat the same cycle over and over.
I hope you choose what's best for you.

 

[pole]

this would make me feel stuck and in limbo.

on the one hand, i appreciate the friendship and support, and because i am alone and don't really have anyone else, i feel the need to hold on to it because perhaps they do give a shit and feel the same as i do about them... right?

well, screw that.

yes, it's a rollercoaster ride. you shouldn't have to beg for someone to see you as equal. and the only time when they feel your worth the attention and being spoken to? oh that's right, when they need you.

as soon as they've sucked you dry, you've fixed them up for the next person, and you'll have to wait again for when they need you because again, that is the only time they will see you being of value.

i think you know what the right thing is to do. more importantly, yes loneliness fucking sucks, but you need to try your best to grow comfortable with being alone with yourself.

you struggle with loneliness, a lack a sense of self and have low self-worth, so you fill that void by seeking out the company of others and it feels great. the problem is, people are horrible.

when we're at this low point, we are hungry to GIVE GIVE GIVE to others. with this comes people who will sniff you out from a mile away and TAKE TAKE TAKE without any hesitation, sucking you dry and throwing you to the side when they're ready and good enough for meeting someone right for them.... until they need you again.

for me, i got tired of being treated like a doormat. how it felt being an anchor for others, feeling used, like I'm fixing someone up for the next person, while I'm left alone and thrown to the curb until I'm useful to them.

i had enough and hated feeling stuck and the disgust, worthlessness, that had consumed me over and over again once they left, waiting until they returned. yeah, no.

i say all of this to tell you that you too will reach that breaking point. is it now? perhaps. you know that what you feel is real. the question is, do you want to continue putting up with it?

no one should be made to feel this way. for me, i am done. as a result, i chose to stay alone and grew comfortable with my loneliness even if it hurts, and kept distance from people, all to protect my peace of mind and sanity.

for you, what will it be? i don't know. that is for you to decide. in my opinion, this person does not deserve your support and care. you should not have to beg to be seen and to be treated with equal respect. there are loads of people out there in this world that will treat you the way you should be treated.

in the end, you know what must be done, and only you can draw the line and decide that enough is enough. otherwise, continue to stay stuck on this rollercoaster ride that will always end up with you feeling alone, worthless, and being walked all over by a person who could care less about you.

nonetheless, i hope you meet new people down the line and find a support system that genuinly appreciates you.