Was there a time in your life where you wanted to have children - which were the reasons behind that

[noname223]

I think the biggest mistake my family made was procreating. My grandparents and my parents. For various reasons. For example my insane bipolar grandmother who spent her life in mental health clinics. Why? Why? Why?

I think the question is still interesting. I once wanted to have children. I was a suicidal teenager that wasn't aware of anything. I was abused on a regular basis by my mom. I suffered, I had a lot of self-hatred. My family wanted me to become successful job wise. And my mom went as fas as beating me up for it on a daily basis. I can remember once my sister cried when she was at the home of a school friend. And this mother was shocked about the behavior of my mom.

I was quite immature as teenager. I did a lot of shit to compensate the pain I had. It wasn't my biggest desire to have children. I was more like that's part of life. And especially my thought was: I am not smart enough for a big career. And my children have to fulfil my carrer goals for me. I have one vivid memory of my grandma. She drove me from school back to home. And she told me one day you will be a higher-up/ a big boss in a good company. Well my life didn't turn out like that. My life is a living nightmare instead. I think all they cared about when I was younger was my career. And I wanted to do the same sick shit to my own children. My thoughts were extremely selfish to that time. Having kids was more of a nice to have thing.

After my first psychosis a few years later I questioned a lot of beliefs I had. And well now I sympathize with antinatalism. Not as much as 5 years ago. But never in my life would I want to have children. And I hope so much my sister won't have kids even if she dreams about it. She is a moron like my mom. And also had a psychosis. Maybe there is a good reason why people like me won't find a partner. Maybe it is better if people like me don't get children. I hope my family goes extinct. I will most likely go to the funeral. But holy shit I don't want to see my family again in my whole life. I will write about it on here. But this funeral will be overwhelming to me.

 

[Set Real Goul]

Fixing the mistakes in my parents' parenting — if my parents, especially my father, hadn't caused completely messed-up scandals and neglected me, I probably wouldn't have borderline personality disorder and I would be a more well-adjusted and functional person.

Also, I think that after two years of hell, when a child becomes capable of learning skills and doing something interesting, it adds a strong sense of excitement and drive to life. It's not the best analogy, but it's like getting a dog and teaching it commands — it can make your life happier when everything else is in order.

Most people think in a rather magical way and expect children to be some kind of game changer. For example, my father and mother believed that my father would somehow magically stop drinking because he became a parent. People are strange.

 

[3rdworldsadness]

Never. As a child I didn't had a 'childhood' it was all neglect and struggles and still I am going through. I never understood from an early age why my parents bring me in this vile existent?!!? I always terrified of everything because of anxiety and it includes kids too. I now like the antinatalism ideology and i call myself one. Nobody should suffer, struggle, have to live in shame, forcefully. I feel very sorry for little child who forcefully are here.

 

[suncide10]

I'd like to have children when I get older but only if I had a great partner and could give them the best life possible. I hate that during my teenage years I was basically full time babysitter for my little brother, and I hate my childhood. But still I'd like to have kids when I'm around 40 and I hopefully have a great life.

 

[miso_soup]

when i was younger i thought that was just what you're supposed to do. grow up. marry. have kids and a job and life is beautiful. i also wanted to be a better parent than my own parents. maybe in a way to prove to them or myself that it wasn't that hard to not abuse a kid or smth. but rn i don't think i'll ever have kids. i'm queer in a country where same-sex marriage isn't legalised and my mental health history further makes me believe that it's a bad idea to bring a child into this world or even foster/adopt.

 

[trying ungracefully]

I want to have children on and off. I'd love to raise a child and see what they turn out to be with my guidance and love. I also just want to give a child everything I experienced and wanted to experience.

The thing that stops me is the fact that I am bipolar and can pass it down to my child. I could adopt but it doesn't feel the same so I don't think I would want to try it out for real. I'm also worried my mental health will get the best of me and I will mess up the kid instead of raising them the way I want to raise them. A lot of people talk shit about their bipolar moms and I don't want to be one of them.

I couldn't even have a kid now even if I really wanted to anyways. I have no job and the relationship with my boyfriend is tumultuous right now so we are waiting until we get in a better spot financially and in our relationship.

 

[WeepingWorm]

I think about that sometimes. Could imagine myself as a father. Hopefully a decent one, too. Except I have no means of supporting a family, really. Because, obviously, I'm a failure. Can barely support myself, but hanging on somehow. Not in the cards for me.
Interesting, because even the worst oldest failures and assholes I've known have had a child along the way, even if they are separated. Somehow I ended up worse than even them. But then what, historically over half the males don't reproduce? So a good club as any to be in.

 

[pond]

Never.

 

[Forever Sleep]

Briefly, when I had a crush on someone I knew wanted children, I considered it hypothetically. It's a good thing I think that it was only ever unrequited love. I feel sure any child of mine would suffer and, I couldn't bare to see that.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I never had the wish to have children.

 

[Thanatos.br]

when i was a kid, my dad was not a present father, and my best friend had a amazing dad and i was very jealous of him, so i promissed to myself that i would have a kid and be a amazing dad to him, but as a i started to grow older and life broke me and i started to hate life i gave up on the idea, today the ideia to put somebody in this world who could be as unhappy as i am is terrifyng

 

[starboy2k]

i wished for children when I saw how much taxes I was hit with as a single person lmaooo.
that shit will make you wish you had some extra dependents to claim

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

I did at various points. I went back and forth on the issue at several stages of life. The problem primarily was that I had a bad gut feeling about my relationships, and that gut feeling turned out to serve me well. On some level I always thought it would only make sense to have children if the relationship behind it was stable. I wasn't big on rolling the dice as to whether the mother and I would stay together, so if it felt risky, which it almost always did, I backed off the idea.

At this juncture, I think too much time has passed and my current situationship is dicey. I've found various indications of her cheating on me, just as my second wife did (since the beginning of our marriage at the time). So the stability I needed was never there with anyone, and still isn't to this day.

 

[TAW122]

Perhaps during my adolescence and way before I was aware of the antinatalism philosophy. However, after adulthood and learning about the cost of bringing new sentience (against their will) into this world, I have decided against having (biological) children. I also don't have an SO in my life, but that doesn't matter to me as in adulthood I have deliberately chosen to remain and stay single.

 

[MaeW]

I would never have children either...

 

[N@te]

I think the biggest mistake my family made was procreating. My grandparents and my parents. For various reasons. For example my insane bipolar grandmother who spent her life in mental health clinics. Why? Why? Why?

I think the question is still interesting. I once wanted to have children. I was a suicidal teenager that wasn't aware of anything. I was abused on a regular basis by my mom. I suffered, I had a lot of self-hatred. My family wanted me to become successful job wise. And my mom went as fas as beating me up for it on a daily basis. I can remember once my sister cried when she was at the home of a school friend. And this mother was shocked about the behavior of my mom.

I was quite immature as teenager. I did a lot of shit to compensate the pain I had. It wasn't my biggest desire to have children. I was more like that's part of life. And especially my thought was: I am not smart enough for a big career. And my children have to fulfil my carrer goals for me. I have one vivid memory of my grandma. She drove me from school back to home. And she told me one day you will be a higher-up/ a big boss in a good company. Well my life didn't turn out like that. My life is a living nightmare instead. I think all they cared about when I was younger was my career. And I wanted to do the same sick shit to my own children. My thoughts were extremely selfish to that time. Having kids was more of a nice to have thing.

After my first psychosis a few years later I questioned a lot of beliefs I had. And well now I sympathize with antinatalism. Not as much as 5 years ago. But never in my life would I want to have children. And I hope so much my sister won't have kids even if she dreams about it. She is a moron like my mom. And also had a psychosis. Maybe there is a good reason why people like me won't find a partner. Maybe it is better if people like me don't get children. I hope my family goes extinct. I will most likely go to the funeral. But holy shit I don't want to see my family again in my whole life. I will write about it on here. But this funeral will be overwhelming to me.

As far as I can remember, never. I'm not an antinatalist but I have little interest in it personally