wanting to ctb (also) because of pressure from other people... do you feel this too?

[lnlybnny]

do you feel pressure to ctb because of other people?

i do, especially for being neet. the people that support me can't do this forever and they talk behind my back about my situation. also i don't want to keep living off them, it's so humiliating. i wish i could disappear before seeing the person that talked abt me behind my back for being neet (i know they're right but it still hurts). i feel so much pressure when i think about these people, like i should just off myself right now, but unfortunately i'm such a coward. ofc i have many reasons to ctb, one of them is my inability to fit in and to have goals, a career etc. i don't wanna do anything but i don't wanna keep living like this. i wish someone else could do the ''dirty job'' and ctb for me in my place

 

[LunarLight]

Well, in a way, yes. I'm a NEET, I'm a trans person, I'm autistic. I feel pressure because I know this world doesn't want people like me to live.
But I was already depressed and suicidal before I was a NEET, before I realized I was trans and autistic. So it adds pressure, but it's not the main reason why I want to CTB. I could live a happy life on benefits, doing what I love the most (i.e., music), seeing my friends (they're far away from me), and stuff. But my brain is sick and tortures me.

 

[lnlybnny]

Well, in a way, yes. I'm a NEET, I'm a trans person, I'm autistic. I feel pressure because I know this world doesn't want people like me to live.
But I was already depressed and suicidal before I was a NEET, before I realized I was trans and autistic. So it adds pressure, but it's not the main reason why I want to CTB. I could live a happy life on benefits, doing what I love the most (i.e., music), seeing my friends (they're far away from me), and stuff. But my brain is sick and tortures me.

i'm sorry you're in this boat too there's some things that would make me happy too, but at this point they seem too utopic for me. sometimes i think ctb is my only chance of having some peace of mind