Wanting someone to kill me

[monetpompo]

I wish someone would help me or teach me how to do a method, or that I could have someone come over to talk about how I want to die. I've thought about hooking up again just to have someone to talk about my suicidal ideation and see if anyone else wants to kill themselves, but I guess that's one way to get murdered instead. I just don't want to be here. I don't see my future getting any brighter. I know that me talking on here is just whining and I'm meant to figure out things on my own. I feel so jealous of my friend that's in university right now. I slept through my entire day because I didn't want to be awake. It all feels like a chore and like I'm someone who's meant to die, because my life has no impact on anyone. I wish that I was a better person. I don't feel like anyone should be friends with me at all because I'm so negative and resentful. It's hard for me to be in a good enough mood to want to talk to people now. I just want to stay in my room and ignore my friend's texts, since he's the only one reaching out to me anymore. If the non-methods like overdosing on Tylenol or drinking bleach worked, I probably would've done it by now, but I know it'd be no good.

I know that I'm weak enough for someone to kill me, so I wish someone would just do it. I'm not strong at all. I've thought about it before, how a man could grab my neck and start strangling me because he wanted something to take his rage out on. My body's weak from oversleeping and never leaving the house, and I find my fun from sitting on my laptop or daydreaming about situations that won't happen. My mom's always been paranoid that someone might break into our house and kill us, but she's always deluded herself. This is the safest neighborhood I've ever lived in. A part of me wishes that there were actually dangerous people outside, but there never are, even if I go looking. I feel like my life is too privileged to ever complain about anything. Sometimes I think that I deserve to have something bad happen to me, just to say things in my life actually go wrong.

 

[StupidCat]

Reading this has awoken the serial killer in me

 

[Rynalia]

Reading this has awoken the serial killer in me

The only reason I'm not behind bars for this, is because I prefer the freedom that comes with, you know, not being behind bars. Praise be to impulse control...

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Every time I come on this forum and read posts, and I'm amazed at how clearly people see and express the reality of life. Including of course your post here. I also wish someone would kill me. That would be convenient. For me the problem is, people aren't very good at it as far as I know. I could purposely walk to a bad neighborhood and start fights but am 99% sure I would just end up in a hospital with everyone saying "what the heck were you thinking". This next thought is very wrong to say, but if an invading army came to my boring American town, I would happily sign up to fight because I know I'd get killed. No offense to anyone who actually lives in an area like that.

 

[bankai]

Every time I come on this forum and read posts, and I'm amazed at how clearly people see and express the reality of life. Including of course your post here. I also wish someone would kill me. That would be convenient. For me the problem is, people aren't very good at it as far as I know. I could purposely walk to a bad neighborhood and start fights but am 99% sure I would just end up in a hospital with everyone saying "what the heck were you thinking". This next thought is very wrong to say, but if an invading army came to my boring American town, I would happily sign up to fight because I know I'd get killed. No offense to anyone who actually lives in an area like that.

Imagine you joined the army and went berserker mode because you thought it was the best way to kill yourself. But you end up killing all the enemies and get awarded multiple medals. There should be a story like this somewhere.Suddenly life wouldn't be that bad.



And yes, people are more honest here than any other site.

 

[NonEssential]

It's nice to fantasize about getting killed by someone, but I doubt a random stranger willing to kill you is going to make it painless. They'd maybe even want it to be as painful as possible lol.

 

[v0id]

I wish someone would help me or teach me how to do a method, or that I could have someone come over to talk about how I want to die. I've thought about hooking up again just to have someone to talk about my suicidal ideation and see if anyone else wants to kill themselves, but I guess that's one way to get murdered instead. I just don't want to be here. I don't see my future getting any brighter. I know that me talking on here is just whining and I'm meant to figure out things on my own. I feel so jealous of my friend that's in university right now. I slept through my entire day because I didn't want to be awake. It all feels like a chore and like I'm someone who's meant to die, because my life has no impact on anyone. I wish that I was a better person. I don't feel like anyone should be friends with me at all because I'm so negative and resentful. It's hard for me to be in a good enough mood to want to talk to people now. I just want to stay in my room and ignore my friend's texts, since he's the only one reaching out to me anymore. If the non-methods like overdosing on Tylenol or drinking bleach worked, I probably would've done it by now, but I know it'd be no good.

I know that I'm weak enough for someone to kill me, so I wish someone would just do it. I'm not strong at all. I've thought about it before, how a man could grab my neck and start strangling me because he wanted something to take his rage out on. My body's weak from oversleeping and never leaving the house, and I find my fun from sitting on my laptop or daydreaming about situations that won't happen. My mom's always been paranoid that someone might break into our house and kill us, but she's always deluded herself. This is the safest neighborhood I've ever lived in. A part of me wishes that there were actually dangerous people outside, but there never are, even if I go looking. I feel like my life is too privileged to ever complain about anything. Sometimes I think that I deserve to have something bad happen to me, just to say things in my life actually go wrong.

i get you. i have always fantasized about someone just shooting me in the head or stabbing me in the neck. or an accident i could not survive. i wish someone would just do it. so then i wouldn't have a chance and my survival instincts wouldn't even matter. i feel horrible sometimes when i hear about people dying tragically in these ways; before empathy, i feel like it should be me instead. it's so bad. i just can't wait to die.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Paying someone to kill u is not inherently a crime

Government monsters made hiring a person to kill u a crime

Even 100,000 years ago someone could have killed me with a stone spear etc this wasnt illegal

Now with guns its painless and guaranteed . A human assister could take multiple contact shots at my head, the first shot knocking me unconsious. Instead i have to defeat si and shoot myself and i only get one shot

 

[RoseGirl]

I need to be beat and strangled to death

 

[deathisapanacea]

Paying someone to kill u is not inherently a crime

Government monsters made hiring a person to kill u a crime

Even 100,000 years ago someone could have killed me with a stone spear etc this wasnt illegal

Now with guns its painless and guaranteed . A human assister could take multiple contact shots at my head, the first shot knocking me unconsious. Instead i have to defeat si and shoot myself and i only get one shot

The biggest issue with shooting ourself is we get only one shot, unless we use an SMG. While mostly one shot is good enough, we don't want to be that 1% er.

 

[bob55]

I wish someone would help me or teach me how to do a method, or that I could have someone come over to talk about how I want to die. I've thought about hooking up again just to have someone to talk about my suicidal ideation and see if anyone else wants to kill themselves, but I guess that's one way to get murdered instead. I just don't want to be here. I don't see my future getting any brighter. I know that me talking on here is just whining and I'm meant to figure out things on my own. I feel so jealous of my friend that's in university right now. I slept through my entire day because I didn't want to be awake. It all feels like a chore and like I'm someone who's meant to die, because my life has no impact on anyone. I wish that I was a better person. I don't feel like anyone should be friends with me at all because I'm so negative and resentful. It's hard for me to be in a good enough mood to want to talk to people now. I just want to stay in my room and ignore my friend's texts, since he's the only one reaching out to me anymore. If the non-methods like overdosing on Tylenol or drinking bleach worked, I probably would've done it by now, but I know it'd be no good.

I know that I'm weak enough for someone to kill me, so I wish someone would just do it. I'm not strong at all. I've thought about it before, how a man could grab my neck and start strangling me because he wanted something to take his rage out on. My body's weak from oversleeping and never leaving the house, and I find my fun from sitting on my laptop or daydreaming about situations that won't happen. My mom's always been paranoid that someone might break into our house and kill us, but she's always deluded herself. This is the safest neighborhood I've ever lived in. A part of me wishes that there were actually dangerous people outside, but there never are, even if I go looking. I feel like my life is too privileged to ever complain about anything. Sometimes I think that I deserve to have something bad happen to me, just to say things in my life actually go wrong.

I've been feeling this way most of my life, and now its at a point where the mental fatigue is just too much and i just want to die. I avoid friends and family, ignore my phone for days, quite often, just talking to people frustrates me, i just want to be in my room and sleep as much as possible, but now even sleep eludes me. These days I'm just gaming or sitting with my laptop. Living a life where you just want to be asleep is not living. The thought of putting an end to this absolute misery is the only thing i look forward to, however, dying is seeming to be very difficult.

I would never kill someone, but i need someone in a similar situation to talk to and come up with a way to help each other. I have the resources and a few acceptable methods