Help Want to ctb but need some available methods

[ivan novac]

Hey,i wanna leave everything behind as soon as possible but i really don't know how,cuz all the ways i know are either not available,too painful or would probably fail...for some context I've attempted last October by using heart medication pills(ramipril) but it didn't do that much damage,and it kind of unlocked the fear of failing so now I'm too hesitant to go for it I've tried to hang but my SI kicks in so fast , i put a blade on my wrist numerous times but i never had the balls to slit it,i wish we had guns in my country it would've made things much easier....so I'm really in a box here,if u know some accessable cheap or even free methods pls don't gatekeep

 

[DeathSleep]

Drowning maybe

 

[GeriatricGoblin]

The most popular method on this forums seems to be sodium nitrite (aka SN). Here's the Megathread and the Comprehensive Guide. Another way I've been looking into is overdosing on illegal or prescription drugs which you can get from the darkweb. Here's a thread on buying stuff from the darkweb. There's also the Suicide Resource Compilation Thread, which contains links to threads on different suicide methods and other resources, but it doesn't include darkweb stuff I think, so it seems not very comprehensive. But it has links to the 'Peaceful Pill' book pdf which afaik popularized the SN method and also contains other easily accessible methods. You can also search for keywords on sanctioned suicide by typing into Google `<keyword> site:sanctioned-suicide.net`

Also if you ask for more details on clearweb sources for SN, people will usually not answer if you're new because apparently there are often fake accounts from authorities which use the answers to shut down sources. So you have to post more and become a 'trusted member' to get some of the info from people here. I found everything using normal searchmachines though, so I think you should be fine.

Drowning maybe

Drowning sounds terrifying to me, I don't think I'd have the guts to do that

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand that it's really so dreadful feeling trapped here, it's inhumane how suicide is purposely made so difficult, the fact that suicide methods are either risky or inacessible is what has kept me trapped here, it really should be much more straightforward to permanently escape from this existence. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you are searching for.