Virgins... why don't you have sex with each other?

[Zegers]

I have seen many girls say they feel they're unattractive and can't get a man either. but there are plenty of women who struggle a lot with finding a partner or having sex as well.

Not in the same way. I knew a girl who had been isolated for years and didn't go out much, well, within a few weeks of starting to go out she already had several suitors.

 

[brokensea]

Not in the same way. I knew a girl who had been isolated for years and didn't go out much, well, within a few weeks of starting to go out she already had several suitors.

In every school, in every college, in every workplace everywhere in life there are girls who are alone, can't find a partner. I knew a girl who was overweight went on so many dates. No one liked her. There's a lot more going on than the echo chamber of our sexist society that thinks women have it easy and can easily find a partner.

 

[Zegers]

I knew a girl who was overweight went on so many dates

It's all about choices. There is a study where it is said that more than 85% of men are rejected on dating apps. I think it's pretty obvious that a woman doesn't have the same problems.

 

[KQuotientW]

I'm not a virgin per sé. A year ago I found myself really reeeeeaaaalllyyy attracted to a woman for the first time in my life. Every time she calls me, purely for work purposes, I have to keep myself together and professional. She's a selfish, tactless arsehole, but the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I don't go for the stereotypical blonde with big boobs, as it turns out, that the media tries to portray as the gold standard. Not body shaming any busty blondes out there, just not my type.

I like brunette with brown eyes, still feminine, but not pinky-pie Intelligent and likes to keep fit, just gets on with the job and doesn't sook over a broken nail. Watches documentaries, likes good movies, and intelligent conversation. I'm not keen on large boobs. I like smaller ones. However, this woman I found myself attracted to tends to be quite self absorbed and a lot of stupid falls out every time she opens her mouth. My past relationships were with arseholes. I have to ask myself why I'm attracted to arseholes.

99.99% of the time I'm attracted to the opposite sex. Suddenly, in my late 40s, one lady enters my life because of work and I can't stop checking her out. That came out of now

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I'm not a virgin per sé. A year ago I found myself really reeeeeaaaalllyyy attracted to a woman for the first time in my life. Every time she calls me, purely for work purposes, I have to keep myself together and professional. She's a selfish, tactless arsehole, but the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life. I don't go for the stereotypical blonde with big boobs, as it turns out, that the media tries to portray as the gold standard. Not body shaming any busty blondes out there, just not my type.

I like brunette with brown eyes, still feminine, but not pinky-pie Intelligent and likes to keep fit, just gets on with the job and doesn't sook over a broken nail. Watches documentaries, likes good movies, and intelligent conversation. I'm not keen on large boobs. I like smaller ones. However, this woman I found myself attracted to tends to be quite self absorbed and a lot of stupid falls out every time she opens her mouth. My past relationships were with arseholes. I have to ask myself why I'm attracted to arseholes.

99.99% of the time I'm attracted to the opposite sex. Suddenly, in my late 40s, one lady enters my life because of work and I can't stop checking her out. That came out of now

Does the media really portray that as the gold standard still? Plenty of beautiful brunettes in pop culture unless I am looking in the wrong places...

 

[callme]

Does the media really portray that as the gold standard still? Plenty of beautiful brunettes in pop culture unless I am looking in the wrong places...

KATE BUSH

 

[WhatPowerIs]

KATE BUSH

Love her!

 

[CowsAreCool]

I probably won't until I'm married, or with someone I would be willing to marry.

It seems irresponsible to have sex with someone you wouldn't be willing to raise a kid with, even if you don't plan on it. Accidents happen. But sex is no accident. If you are raising the possibility of bringing a kid into this world, you should at least be in a position where that kid's life isn't going to suck.

I don't get how society is so dead-set on separating sex and procreation. One will directly lead to the other. I get that lots of people have sex, and its viewed as no big deal, but own the consequences of your actions. Nobody needs sex.

I'm not some crazy social conservative. I just feel bad for all the kids who weren't wanted, and are thus mistreated.

Causal sex leads to depression and low self esteem. The sexual revolution was a mistake.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I probably won't until I'm married, or with someone I would be willing to marry.

It seems irresponsible to have sex with someone you wouldn't be willing to raise a kid with, even if you don't plan on it. Accidents happen. But sex is no accident. If you are raising the possibility of bringing a kid into this world, you should at least be in a position where that kid's life isn't going to suck.

I don't get how society is so dead-set on separating sex and procreation. One will directly lead to the other. I get that lots of people have sex, and its viewed as no big deal, but own the consequences of your actions. Nobody needs sex.

I'm not some crazy social conservative. I just feel bad for all the kids who weren't wanted, and are thus mistreated.

Causal sex leads to depression and low self esteem. The sexual revolution was a mistake.

I like to think about it in terms of a car (LOL) - if I buy one, it should be reliable and last forever just like a relationship!

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Wait, but then it only makes sense to wait if it's an age thing?

I didn't mean to imply it's strictly an age thing. But, it's certainly intrinsically liked to age and living. It's acquired along the journey of life at different intervals and levels, through living and experiences. Even hard and fast living in younger years will never result in the same accumulated wisdom garnered through years and decades of living and experience. I suppose "waiting" would make sense if the purpose of life is to garner as much wisdom as possible. I guess that's as good a reason as any.

 

[brokensea]

It's all about choices. There is a study where it is said that more than 85% of men are rejected on dating apps. I think it's pretty obvious that a woman doesn't have the same problems.

What does this study about men have to do with single women?

Do you know a lot of women personally? Do you hang out with women who can't find partners as friends? Do you study anything about studies on single women, rejected women and read any forums or groups where single women talk about any of that?

Or are you saying men don't have preferences and are horn dogs so any woman just naturally shouldn't be single.

Not sure which sexist angle you're going for.

Outside of pop culture society and biased studies, in the real world lots of people of both genders have the same issues.

You have to dig a little deeper than the ad nauseam sayings and beliefs of our society to see the truth. Or find one outside of personal limited experiences. But that usually doesn't suit the echo chamber of what one likes to believe.

 

[Julgran]

What does this study about men have to do with single women?

Do you know a lot of women personally? Do you hang out with women who can't find partners as friends? Do you study anything about studies on single women, rejected women and read any forums or groups where single women talk about any of that?

Or are you saying men don't have preferences and are horn dogs so any woman just naturally shouldn't be single.

Not sure which sexist angle you're going for.

Outside of pop culture society and biased studies, in the real world lots of people of both genders have the same issues.

You have to dig a little deeper than the ad nauseam sayings and beliefs of our society to see the truth. Or find one outside of personal limited experiences. But that usually doesn't suit the echo chamber of what one likes to believe.

You are correct in so far as that there are women who have difficulties in the dating market, as well, but @Zegers point seems to be that men tend to have a more difficult time than women.

Among the common aspects that men find unattractive in women, or have been shown to not result in functional relationships, are the following:

• The woman is overweight
• The woman is too old
• The woman is a single mother
• The woman has had multiple previous sexual partners, without trying to be serially monogamous
• The woman has a higher education than the man
• The woman has a higher salary than the man

Of course, I'm not implying that women shouldn't have any choice in how their life progresses, but those are simply how many men perceive women's attractiveness.

When it comes to what women usually find attractive in men, the following aspects tend to be true:

• The man has a higher education than the woman
• The man has a higher salary than the woman
• The man is tall

Beyond the points above, personality also plays a role, of course, but this post is mainly about men's and women's life choices and general preferences. The end result of all this is that women seem to try to form families too late in life, while a few high-earning men sleep around with the women, which makes those women believe that they have a chance at those high-earning men, which is not the case, which results in single motherhood for those women, which results in children growing up in fartherless homes and may become criminals (for men) or promiscuous (for women). This summary is a bit simplistic, but the point is that young men and women need to be told how they can take preventative measures at a young age in order to improve their dating prospects later in life. It would be interesting to compare this data to the dating prospects within the gay community, but I haven't seen any such studies yet.

If there is a God, I believe that it was asleep at the wheel when it created humans, since men's and women's expectations of each other are too diverse. However, if anyone is to blame for this chaos, it's the parents who didn't prepare their children for adult life, and not the adult men and women of today.

 

[brokensea]

You are correct in so far as that there are women who have difficulties in the dating market, as well, but @Zegers point seems to be that men tend to have a more difficult time than women.

Among the common aspects that men find unattractive in women, or have been shown to not result in functional relationships, are the following:

• The woman is overweight
• The woman is too old
• The woman is a single mother
• The woman has had multiple previous sexual partners, without trying to be serially monogamous
• The woman has a higher education than the man
• The woman has a higher salary than the man

Of course, I'm not implying that women shouldn't have any choice in how their life progresses, but those are simply how many men perceive women's attractiveness.

When it comes to what women usually find attractive in men, the following aspects tend to be true:

• The man has a higher education than the woman
• The man has a higher salary than the woman
• The man is tall

Beyond the points above, personality also plays a role, of course, but this post is mainly about men's and women's life choices and general preferences. The end result of all this is that women seem to try to form families too late in life, while a few high-earning men sleep around with the women, which makes those women believe that they have a chance at those high-earning men, which is not the case, which results in single motherhood for those women, which results in children growing up in fartherless homes and may become criminals (for men) or promiscuous (for women). This summary is a bit simplistic, but the point is that young men and women need to be told how they can take preventative measures at a young age in order to improve their dating prospects later in life. It would be interesting to compare this data to the dating prospects within the gay community, but I haven't seen any such studies yet.

If there is a God, I believe that it was asleep at the wheel when it created humans, since men's and women's expectations of each other are too diverse. However, if anyone is to blame for this chaos, it's the parents who didn't prepare their children for adult life, and not the adult men and women of today.

I don't know if I don't hang out with people like this but I've never met except maybe a couple of women in my life that fit this stereotype. None of my women friends are like this. I'm not sure if you're talking about lifestyles of the rich and famous and what they think but regular people marry construction workers, coffee baristas, guys in the army, average office workers, random people. Most people I know work a normal job and even people I know who make a lot of money, they are intellectual and they just don't think this way about people. They have some job in tech or science and just have other ways of looking at things. I have met some shallow people and lived in neighborhoods where people were seemingly very into appearances and also lived in hippie towns where you could get up out of bed and go out in pajamas and no one bats an eye and people can walk around wearing pirate outfits if they want to. I guess I just would never even hang out with someone superficial so I just don't see that very much.

I think statistics are inherently biased. Many from a small sampling size. They shape our culture through these narratives. What the news portrays, YouTubers, just pushing a stupid agenda so we click on dumb ads and articles and everyone says/thinks this so it's true!

This same logic justifies a lot of racism in our society and did for years saying people of this culture are like this and everyone just believed it. We just believe things cause it's the word on the street, what everyone says. Here's a study to back it up. It's just brainwashing of our inherent opinions and viewing of the world. It simplifies things and puts everyone in boxes.

Even stereotypes men just want to sleep around or are idiots or insensitive. Like you see on many shows. I don't think that's true and some of the most sensitive, kind people I know are men.

I've definitely met some shallow, vapid people but this was always in a small minority throughout everyone I've met in my life. They often have a lot of internal issues and want to gain something outside themselves for prestige and worth.

Everyone is so different in who they are and why they do things that I think putting anyone in a box or stereotype takes away the humanity of that person. They can be easily written off as they're one of those.

I refuse to see the world through the lens of media and pop culture brainwashing and you can find a lot more out about people when you see everyone without bias.

I was talking to someone waiting in line for coffee at the hospital and it was 10 minutes of talking before I realized they had burns all over their face. I see people in the way I feel and I don't tend to size people up on attractiveness when I meet them, physical attributes matter very little to me since it is an outer shell of who a person is. If someone doesn't take care of themselves physically maybe they are sad or don't have time or whatever else but that's just a small part of who they are. We put too much value in beauty and superficial things in our culture so we can be sold useless things to make ourselves happier and more appealing to others. Stereotypes about what the opposite sex likes just pushes that narrative. If group think does treat some people that way as less than because of wealth, appearance or age well they're wrong and stupid and who wants to spend time with people like that anyway? So what is the point of impressing someone like that or thinking they have a right to judge or value you?

 

[Julgran]

I don't know if I don't hang out with people like this but I've never met except maybe a couple of women in my life that fit this stereotype. None of my women friends are like this. I'm not sure if you're talking about lifestyles of the rich and famous and what they think but regular people marry construction workers, coffee baristas, guys in the army, average office workers, random people. Most people I know work a normal job and even people I know who make a lot of money, they are intellectual and they just don't think this way about people. They have some job in tech or science and just have other ways of looking at things. I have met some shallow people and lived in neighborhoods where people were seemingly very into appearances and also lived in hippie towns where you could get up out of bed and go out in pajamas and no one bats an eye and people can walk around wearing pirate outfits if they want to. I guess I just would never even hang out with someone superficial so I just don't see that very much.

I think statistics are inherently biased. Many from a small sampling size. They shape our culture through these narratives. What the news portrays, YouTubers, just pushing a stupid agenda so we click on dumb ads and articles and everyone says/thinks this so it's true!

This same logic justifies a lot of racism in our society and did for years saying people of this culture are like this and everyone just believed it. We just believe things cause it's the word on the street, what everyone says. Here's a study to back it up. It's just brainwashing of our inherent opinions and viewing of the world. It simplifies things and puts everyone in boxes.

Even stereotypes men just want to sleep around or are idiots or insensitive. Like you see on many shows. I don't think that's true and some of the most sensitive, kind people I know are men.

I've definitely met some shallow, vapid people but this was always in a small minority throughout everyone I've met in my life. They often have a lot of internal issues and want to gain something outside themselves for prestige and worth.

There are always exceptions to the rule. As mentioned earlier, the data has been gathered from studies. All kinds of people exist, but those who don't conform to the norm are simply not over-represented in studies, and don't make much of a splash in the statistics.

Everyone is so different in who they are and why they do things that I think putting anyone in a box or stereotype takes away the humanity of that person. They can be easily written off as they're one of those.

I refuse to see the world through the lens of media and pop culture brainwashing and you can find a lot more out about people when you see everyone without bias.

I was talking to someone waiting in line for coffee at the hospital and it was 10 minutes of talking before I realized they had burns all over their face. I see people in the way I feel and I don't tend to size people up on attractiveness when I meet them, physical attributes matter very little to me since it is an outer shell of who a person is. If someone doesn't take care of themselves physically maybe they are sad or don't have time or whatever else but that's just a small part of who they are. We put too much value in beauty and superficial things in our culture so we can be sold useless things to make ourselves happier and more appealing to others. Stereotypes about what the opposite sex likes just pushes that narrative. If group think does treat some people that way as less than because of wealth, appearance or age well they're wrong and stupid and who wants to spend time with people like that anyway? So what is the point of impressing someone like that or thinking they have a right to judge or value you?

Humans are still predictable animals who behave much like other creatures - that's where our so-called gender roles come from. Whether one wishes to follow them or not is up to oneself, of course.

However, I respect your views, but in the end, I see very little truth in the phrase "There's someone out there for everyone".

 

[callme]

Love her!

Beautiful since the 70s. You could think she's made a deal with god

 

[brokensea]

There are always exceptions to the rule. As mentioned earlier, the data has been gathered from studies. All kinds of people exist, but those who don't conform to the norm are simply not over-represented in studies, and don't make much of a splash in the statistics.



Humans are still predictable animals who behave much like other creatures - that's where our so-called gender roles come from. Whether one wishes to follow them or not is up to oneself, of course.

However, I respect your views, but in the end, I see very little truth in the phrase "There's someone out there for everyone".

I certainly don't feel there's someone out there for everyone and some people are alone and many people never find a partner or the right partner and die alone. Much like my case.

I think the factors behind that are more inherent human selfishness and an inability to compromise and have relationships or even be loving and how many people view the world and others instead of getting to know anyone and most people can't even open up so you do get to know them. I appreciate you sharing your perspective as well.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

I certainly don't feel there's someone out there for everyone and some people are alone and many people never find a partner or the right partner and die alone. Much like my case.

Makes me sad but the world isn't peachy unfortunately, as much as I wish it was. That's why there's a forum like this one.

 

[brokensea]

Makes me sad but the world isn't peachy unfortunately, as much as I wish it was. That's why there's a forum like this one.

Yes humans are tribal creatures. It's unnatural how alone and isolated we are in this society and it's no wonder we are all depressed and alone. We have no sense of community in this culture. We are very individualistic and self serving as an ideal way to be. It's not normal.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Yes humans are tribal creatures. It's unnatural how alone and isolated we are in this society and it's no wonder we are all depressed and alone. We have no sense of community in this culture. We are very individualistic and self serving as an ideal way to be. It's not normal.

Could it be a cultural thing? Everybody is depressed the world over but western culture seems to emphasize individualism a lot more than some other cultures which probably doesn't help, I would imagine.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

To fuck or not to fuck. THAT is the question.

 

[brokensea]

Could it be a cultural thing? Everybody is depressed the world over but western culture seems to emphasize individualism a lot more than some other cultures which probably doesn't help, I would imagine.

Yes I read a book on anthropology and we naturally, biologically are meant to live in tribes and strong communities. Now many live alone, don't know our neighbors. We don't have the natural exploration and curiosity and most dwellings and scenery is just box houses. The culture is the opposite to what is natural for human life to thrive. That's why aloneness and isolation it's like being kicked out of a tribe and can cause extreme feelings of self hatred and depression when you have no social connections. We certainly don't often have healthy ones when we even do because society teaches us life is supposed to be mostly about ourselves and the latest sparkly distractions. Independence of everyone is the highest ideal. Not needing anyone even though we need others to live and survive and it's normal to help and give and receive but is now taught as some kind of unhealthy codependency. We can't connect with anyone anymore. Humankind has lost much of its humanity.

 

[WhatPowerIs]

Yes I read a book on anthropology and we naturally, biologically are meant to live in tribes and strong communities. Now many live alone, don't know our neighbors. We don't have the natural exploration and curiosity and most dwellings and scenery is just box houses. The culture is the opposite to what is natural for human life to thrive. That's why aloneness and isolation it's like being kicked out of a tribe and can cause extreme feelings of self hatred and depression when you have no social connections. We certainly don't often have healthy ones when we even do because society teaches us life is supposed to be mostly about ourselves and the latest sparkly distractions. Independence of everyone is the highest ideal. Not needing anyone even though we need others to live and survive and it's normal to help and give and receive but is now taught as some kind of unhealthy codependency. We can't connect with anyone anymore. Humankind has lost much of its humanity.

Brilliant post. Also I find that whenever we are told to talk to somebody, we aren't asked to talk to our friends or our family or people who are very close to us but instead we are told to seek therapists instead. Therapy can probably help, I'm sure it's helped a lot of people, but it is furthering the divide we have as human beings when we aren't connecting with the people close to us. But maybe I am just talking out of my ass here?

 

[brokensea]

Brilliant post. Also I find that whenever we are told to talk to somebody, we aren't asked to talk to our friends or our family or people who are very close to us but instead we are told to seek therapists instead. Therapy can probably help, I'm sure it's helped a lot of people, but it is furthering the divide we have as human beings when we aren't connecting with the people close to us. But maybe I am just talking out of my ass here?

Yes, and if you think the entire concept of therapy even arose because people literally have no one to talk to anymore, it is really sad. We glamorize possessions and physical beauty and there is little we exalt in society such as self sacrifice, communication, harmony, support, healthy relationships. It's all about drama and chaos and shock value in media. People being disposable.

The book I read is The Human Zoo. It has some things that's are a little outdated since it was written in 1969 such as transference but some of the basics are still solid and amazingly eye opening to the problems of society today. It changed a lot of my understanding of the world and human society.

 

[whatevs]

Because we would have to take it up the ass given the asymmetric composition of da virgin demographic.

That's great if you're into that by the way.

 

[freedompass]

What does this study about men have to do with single women?

Do you know a lot of women personally? Do you hang out with women who can't find partners as friends? Do you study anything about studies on single women, rejected women and read any forums or groups where single women talk about any of that?

Or are you saying men don't have preferences and are horn dogs so any woman just naturally shouldn't be single.

Not sure which sexist angle you're going for.

Outside of pop culture society and biased studies, in the real world lots of people of both genders have the same issues.

You have to dig a little deeper than the ad nauseam sayings and beliefs of our society to see the truth. Or find one outside of personal limited experiences. But that usually doesn't suit the echo chamber of what one likes to believe.

Very very well said

 

[Zegers]

What does this study about men have to do with single women?

Its called social dynamics.

biased studies

Research and you will find the studies, according to you, biased, it is curious hundreds of different studies biased.

 

[brokensea]

Its called social dynamics.



Research and you will find the studies, according to you, biased, it is curious hundreds of different studies biased.

Yes and there were studies during hitler days about Jews and studies about other races throughout history. Tons of them. But you think the modern studies are more correct?

You survey people who self answer questions who have an internal bias and see the world through their own lens and troubles and not those of others. Some also believe the same sexist beliefs. May downplay any interactions. And are completely personally biased. So results are skewed. Groups can be limited in certain areas or certain types of platforms that attract certain kinds of people. All based on advertising. So any study that is just a perpetuation of biased sexist beliefs to push an agenda for attention media bait click articles or to make people feel inferior so they can feel more motivated to be a consumer buying useless improvement products or perhaps even be able to complain how unfair they're treated because of their gender to grow hatred for the opposite sex and how much easier they have it isn't something I subscribe to. All the studies do is make people believe their internal biases even more and provide a false confirmation of truth that the way they think is correct. So many new studies also discount earlier ones. I'm sure I can find dozens of studies online that can prove any point I want to make.

They even talk about the limits of these studies in just about every psychology and sociology course on statistics there is.

I prefer to think for myself and not make any judgements about groups of people based on class, sex, gender, income, intelligence, mental health, attractiveness, etc. It's just brainwashing garbage and leads to ignorance and a narrow point of view.

 

[Squalo]

I've never had sex because I'm poor, ugly, sad, depressed and nobody wants me.

 

[Ethereal Knight]

as an incel and a nymphocel (also called thirstie - I have hypersexuality too), my answer to you, OP, is that it's not that simple.

maybe it would indeed be that simple if we were talking about homosexuals, but people of the opposite sex are, because of multiple bio-psycho-social factors, fundamentally different from each other in how their sexuality functions and how it is expressed.

men and women are too different from each other. and maybe - maybe, we could even say fairly incompatible when it comes to sexuality.

If there is a God, I believe that it was asleep at the wheel when it created humans.

or maybe he is evil and wanted us to suffer. or maybe he didn't care. or more likely, he doesn't exist.

I don't get how society is so dead-set on separating sex and procreation. One will directly lead to the other.

this is untrue. there are those things called pills (and condoms).

the girl just have to take her pills and it's 99+% certain that it's safe.

plus, women can only get pregnant 6 days out of the month anyway. just avoid having sex close to those 6 days and you can have sex the entire rest of the month like crazy.