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At least to me, sex with a stranger is the most boring thing you can do. There is almost nothing to it at all... I'd rather just cuddle with someone I love than have sex just to have sex. I will probably never get any kind of real affection anyways though. I'm not a virgin but only because I chose to pay for sex twice. I didn't enjoy it and I wouldn't really recommend it.
im a virgin due to sheer unluckiness of it never being the right time or person. my ideal partner is preferably also a virgin or at least very sexually inexperienced, aswell as being in a relationship with me for at least a couple of weeks.
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Message In A Bottle, S like suicide, Zegers and 2 others
I need a ctb-dating app first. Well, when i see a girl i like turn me on, but i think just get laid with someone random, not being friends at least, wouldn't be my cup of tea.
What can possibly go wrong with that, LOL. I think it is a great idea, Tinder for CTBs, would join.
I once had a girl with which we practices breathplay. I asked here several times what if I strangle her too much and kill her. She said that she did not mind.
I just need to let everyone here know that Julgran, relevant to his post above, has repeatedly told other users (in the 'sanctuary' section) that people *shouldn't* withdraw consent if they want to stop having sex "once it's started," has encouraged people to "just let their partners" have sex with them that they don't want, and treated it as normal or healthy to get off on the bodies of unwilling participants. I know not everyone has a high enough post count to see the Sanctuary section so I find myself with a duty to warn here.
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𣴠nadia π£΄, not-2-b-the-answer, brokensea and 1 other person
I'm a virgin but I mean it's my own fault. I've had plenty of opportunities (and still do), but I am terrified. As a young teen a man who was much older than me (in his late twenties) black mailed me with pictures of myself that I sent because I thought he loved me. Half of my relationships my partners have cheated on me. I don't want to be an object. I want someone to truly love me and value me but I have major trust issues and lack self confidence. I'll be 21 next month so it's not like I'm crazy old, but definitely old enough where it feels humilitating when my friends talk about their relationships and sex life.
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not-2-b-the-answer, Suicidebydeath, Marktheghost and 1 other person
Let me tell all you kiddies something. I'm a lot older than y'all, and one of the regrets I have in life is NOT taking EVERY opportunity that came along my way to have sex when I was younger. It's a matter of, "if I knew then, what I know now". This is what wisdom is. You must live long enough to acquire it.
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not-2-b-the-answer, LittleJem, Shikamaru and 3 others
At least to me, sex with a stranger is the most boring thing you can do. There is almost nothing to it at all... I'd rather just cuddle with someone I love than have sex just to have sex. I will probably never get any kind of real affection anyways though. I'm not a virgin but only because I chose to pay for sex twice. I didn't enjoy it and I wouldn't really recommend it.
Totally agree with you. Maybe it depends also on the age. I am 43 and just the mechanical part of sex does not interest me anymore. I paid for it a couple of times and did not enjoy it as well.
I'm a virgin but I mean it's my own fault. I've had plenty of opportunities (and still do), but I am terrified. As a young teen a man who was much older than me (in his late twenties) black mailed me with pictures of myself that I sent because I thought he loved me. Half of my relationships my partners have cheated on me. I don't want to be an object. I want someone to truly love me and value me but I have major trust issues and lack self confidence. I'll be 21 next month so it's not like I'm crazy old, but definitely old enough where it feels humilitating when my friends talk about their relationships and sex life.
You are not crazy old? You are just a young adult, you have decades in front of you. Want a suggestion? I feel this generation as unreasonable expectations about the outcomes of your life. You want to have everything right away. Yes you can bump into the relationship of your life at 21 but it is rather rare.
The issue now is that with Internet and social you (young adults) have a lot of peer pressure and you think that by a certain age you should have sex and a successful relationship. The reality is that it was not like this in the past and it is probably not like this now. It takes several attempts and failure to find a stable and meaningful relationship.
Do not jump on any relationship without at least caring a bit (if that is what you want), but not also have the expectation that it will be the right one.
My goal wasn't really to help men but to explain why I don't want sex. Actually understanding that can help men.
Don't be in such a hurry to get in her pants. Try to genuinely duscover who she is as a person, compatible interests, bond over them.
Try to care for her messed up emotions even if you can't see the logic in the chaos, comfort her with a hug without trying to get in her pants, just genuine affection. As a person not as a sex object.
If someone had done it for me, I'd probably be fucking my husband right now.
To the person who gave me an angry reaction because men tried to threat me like a toilet... I wasn't born to be a man's toy. I want a partner. An equal.
Thank you. But my standard are very low. Just not low enough to be discarted as a kleenex after he empty his balls. Or to be assaulted, dragged by the hairs, groped by strangers... I need a hug but some talk first... Assault isn't romantic.
Good for you @Hollowillow. I wish to god I had had your mindset back when I was a target for predators.
@Nazca to be honest you sound like me when I was manic/psychotic and hypersexual/disinhibited. I didn't know ptsd can cause hypersexuality, I have that too so yeah makes sense
To most of the guys who've replied here and said they don't just want sex with some random girl, there has to be some emotional engagement - that makes you a decent human being and if all men were like you the world would be a better place.
I'm completely traumatised sexually from a child onwards and in my case it has had very serious consequences because a new human came into the world as a result.
100% happier now that I am free of either emotional or sexual entanglements.
I don't because nobody in their right mind would take somebody like me. Even paid ones. Everything on that matter just screams "love is a privilege to you so you won't have it". Once I saw a list of 30 reasons men stay single on reddit and I scored 29 so..
stuck in a mental Bermuda triangle that even if you try breaking by the conventional advice, which is the only one, no matter how far you take it, all ends with i'm alright Jack and if you are not, it's your own fault. And I better believe it otherwise I will be driven insane as I am. Doctors do it, parents do it, friends do it, everybody. Tis why I never had friends and never went to a doctor. I will die alone, after having always been alone.
At least Ieel better about being an incel too. When I'm gone I will have done everybody a favor and I feel fine about it.
Let me tell all you kiddies something. I'm a lot older than y'all, and one of the regrets I have in life is NOT taking EVERY opportunity that came along my way to have sex when I was younger. It's a matter of, "if I knew then, what I know now". This is what wisdom is. You must live long enough to acquire it.
I prefer casual to relationships. I'm too crazy/depressed for relationships, but sex on drugs or drink is okay. I'm not well enough for anything else and it's not fair. I like it on weed, but I don't know if I like it or not that much. Like I just started seeing someone and it's gone bad because of my mental health so quickly so it just doesn't work for me to have relationships.
I prefer casual to relationships. I'm too crazy/depressed for relationships, but sex on drugs or drink is okay. I'm not well enough for anything else and it's not fair. I like it on weed, but I don't know if I like it or not that much. Like I just started seeing someone and it's gone bad because of my mental health so quickly so it just doesn't work for me to have relationships.
I was always curious about sex on drugs. I never managed to do it. Maybe I should give it a try if I can. How does it feel on weed? What about other stuff. We tried a few times with lots of alcohol, a few times turn out a bit too violent, but neither of us could feel anything. Day after we woke up with al sort of pains :D
I'm not too sure honestly. Maybe I'm just too shy or something. I definitely do want to have sex but I just don't know where to start. I'm not too sure about meeting strangers and I haven't found a girl I'm really interested in. At least yet
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not-2-b-the-answer
LossOfMe
"Petal by petal, I've witnessed a withered Spring"
A guy with good hygiene, kind with words and open to try my kinks as well.
As for physical requirements, in all honestly, I just feel I get the 'right' to be picky. I'm a fat girl (BMI 34) with no great assets like big boobs and/or a great butt. During these 28 years, no one ever looked my way when aware of my appearance. So, I guess I'd just want them to not have any major deformities?
Probably yes. I don't need them to feel like a soulmate, but I'd want us to get along well and be able to talk about normal stuff, sad stuff, and feel safe and comfortable with each other.
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not-2-b-the-answer, lofticries and Suicidebydeath
Look, sex just isn't as enjoyable for women as it is for men, on average. I don't think the odds of my first time going well are very high, and I think those odds drop to even lower numbers if I pick a rando.
Sex also carries more risk for me as a woman. Maybe I'm paranoid, but I have just never understood the appeal of seeking some random guy to fuck me when he can physically overpower me without much effort. Doesn't seem safe. Idea repulses me. Hard pass.
I might consider having sex with a woman I just met, but there are so few lesbians and even fewer who would be down for that, so what really are the chances?
In a hypersexual culture like the modern western world, I believe virginity is very underrated. It's just the sociocultural pressure that make people feel bad about it; take that away and there is nothing wrong with it, especially if you haven't met someone you truly love. I believe sex is supposed to be a culmination of love, intimacy founded upon mutual love and trust. There is something about sexual purity that this carnal and self-gratificating world doesn't understand and appreciate. Jesus himself even elevated it as an ideal. If you're a virgin, at the very least, don't feel shameful about it.
like people said, most virgins are probably men. for the girls that are virgins, its probably not very safe seeing as a decent few of the virgin men on here are probably weirdos. people are also virgins for a reason, they are either ugly, terrible social skills (me), etc. though maybe its a decent idea, id be up for it, i have nothing to lose, but i wouldnt imagine thered be many girls willing to participate
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Julgran, Celerity, not-2-b-the-answer and 1 other person
I see of lot of posts on here from virgins. Every one has a different reason for being a virgin. Do you want to have sex? Why don't you have sex with each other? I have some previous sexual trauma and am diagnosed with PTSD. I have some hypersexuality, a symptom of PTSD formed from that trauma. Without being too graphic, I'll almost do anything. How high are your requirements? If some one agreed to have sex with you, would you? Or do you need a deep relationship first?
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