NSFW virginity: how important?

[Disappointered]

I have a question that I think women will be better able to answer but anyone's input is of interest. I knew a religious group in my past who were very conservative about sex and some of the people told me about how they wanted a virgin wife. They gave me different arguments that were all more or less believable even if I placed less weight on it than they did. However, one argument bothered me and I want to know whether it holds any water. I was asked why women have a hymen. I had no idea. Is there an explanation for its existence? Does breaking it bond the woman to the person who broke it? I never broke one and it's really bothering me to know that if I were to be in a relationship with someone whose hymen I didn't break she might have dreams about that person instead of me. I know most people will say, as I did, that it's a ridiculous suggestion but then why does the hymen exist? I'm hoping to discover there is a reason that does not involve trauma bonding.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

I'm not a woman but I don't think the hymen itself is as important as the emotional impact of losing virginity would be if that even leads them to bond with whoever that ends up being? The hymen itself can be broken by random mundane things like horseback riding or gymnastics so the lack of one doesn't necessarily mean someone isn't a virgin. Even with the hymen there, losing it's also not supposed to be traumatic from what I've heard. If they're doing it right, it's not supposed to be that painful beyond the initial breaking. Plus, why should it matter if a woman is a virgin? If anything, personally I would think it more ideal that they weren't since I'd hate to ruin someone's first time and I would like some help through mine if that ever were to happen.

 

[mapletree]

There is a reason that's not the stuff you posted above but honestly given what you've written just find some conservative virgin lady with an intact hymen to marry because it sounds like you would have extreme anxiety having a relationship with a woman who has been "with" another man or dildo or whatever so this is a pointless conversation.

like I think if this is your thought process on the matter please do not get into a relationship with a woman you are convinced might be secretly dreaming about whatever man/dildo/bicycle/contact sport that stretched her hymen at some point behind your back, that sounds like a something that would not be fair to put her through for her sake. It sounds like you would not be culturally compatible with a female without an intact hymen even if it's not really that meaningful in a larger sense

 

[PNKPNDA]

The hymen can legit be broken from a tampon or gymnastics as someone has said - I don't get all this bs around women being pure if their a virgin the hymen is complete rubbish and so is the whole notion of virginity
I'm not sure why the hymen exists but it deffo isn't some big deal when it "breaks" I think it's legit just a thin bit of skin personally I've never noticed it and never had anyone mention it so wouldn't say it's even a thing to think about

 

[hoping to lose hope]

Virginity is special for men and woman.

 

[Weather]

Eww. No. That's just repackaged "if you f*ck a woman you should own her" bullshit.

It's scientifically bananas to think that.

 

[Disappointered]

There is a reason that's not the stuff you posted above but honestly given what you've written just find some conservative virgin lady with an intact hymen to marry because it sounds like you would have extreme anxiety having a relationship with a woman who has been "with" another man or dildo or whatever so this is a pointless conversation.

like I think if this is your thought process on the matter please do not get into a relationship with a woman you are convinced might be secretly dreaming about whatever man/dildo/bicycle/contact sport that stretched her hymen at some point behind your back, that sounds like a something that would not be fair to put her through for her sake. It sounds like you would not be culturally compatible with a female without an intact hymen even if it's not really that meaningful in a larger sense

Eww. No. That's just repackaged "if you f*ck a woman you should own her" bullshit.

It's scientifically bananas to think that.

Ew gross. Women coming on here to act like they can implicitly defame me. Don't. Try re-reading what I wrote. I asked why the hymen exists so if you don't provide an answer to that question you're just coming here to insult me, which doesn't help your cause.

 

[mapletree]

Ew gross. Women coming on here to act like they can implicitly defame me. Don't. Try re-reading what I wrote. I asked why the hymen exists so if you don't provide an answer to that question you're just coming here to insult me, which doesn't help your cause.

I read what you wrote and if you don't like the answer then don't ask questions to which you don't want answers to if they don't pamper your feelings

 

[demuic]

Ew gross. Women coming on here to act like they can implicitly defame me. Don't. Try re-reading what I wrote. I asked why the hymen exists so if you don't provide an answer to that question you're just coming here to insult me, which doesn't help your cause.

Oh Jesus...

 

[Weather]

Ew gross. Women coming on here to act like they can implicitly defame me. Don't. Try re-reading what I wrote. I asked why the hymen exists so if you don't provide an answer to that question you're just coming here to insult me, which doesn't help your cause.

I was actually referring to the (religious?) group that told you that, not you. And as far as "my cause"... I don't have one?

Anyway, based on my quick google search, it seems there isn't really a scientific consensus about why it exists, but perhaps connected to protection from bacteria. Also, it never fully covers the vaginal opening, even from birth.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Why do men have foreskins? It's not like they seem to need them if they it get cut off... so... what's your point again?

I probably broke mine the first time I rode a bicycle. Yeah, that young. Jeebus.

You're woefully sheltered and fragile.

 

[mapletree]

I was actually referring to the (religious?) group that told you that, not you. And as far as "my cause"... I don't have one?

Anyway, based on my quick google search, it seems there isn't really a scientific consensus about why it exists, but perhaps connected to protection from bacteria. Also, it never fully covers the vaginal opening, even from birth.

Generally it's assumed to keep bacteria out of the vagina before it can develop a decent protective barrier, however not everyone is born with one and they can go away on their own without any penetration needed so I would say that they're more culturally important (to OP for example) than like important important

i mean they're important to OP, so OP should find a female with a hymen. I don't think there's a "cause" here, like I don't think the women without hymens need to be crusading for OP and his friends approval, OP and friends can just...find girls with hymens I guess? Win win?

 

[Disappointered]

Why do men have foreskins? It's not like they seem to need them if they it get cut off... so... what's your point again?

I probably broke mine the first time I rode a bicycle. Yeah, that young. Jeebus.

You're woefully sheltered and fragile.

Do you think I have a point that wasn't clear from my post? Or do you think I don't have a point? I'm not sure I understand. It was suggested to me - I'm just reiterating what was in my original post since it seems to need repetition - that the hymen exists to create a bond. I wanted to know if there was ANOTHER REASON for its existence. Mentioning that some men are circumcised is obviously not analogous so it sounds like you didn't understand my post.

I read what you wrote and if you don't like the answer then don't ask questions to which you don't want answers to if they don't pamper your feelings

Except that you didn't answer the post you just made a series of presumptions about me. Unfortunately it seems you're just bad person. Duly noted.

 

[mapletree]

Do you think I have a point that wasn't clear from my post? Or do you think I don't have a point? I'm not sure I understand. It was suggested to me - I'm just reiterating what was in my original post since it seems to need repetition - that the hymen exists to create a bond. I wanted to know if there was ANOTHER REASON for its existence. Mentioning that some men are circumcised is obviously not analogous so it sounds like you didn't understand my post.

Except that you didn't answer the post you just made a series of presumptions about me. Unfortunately it seems you're just bad person. Duly noted.

Just below that I gave you a well thought out response that quite frankly you don't deserve because you asked for women's opinions and now you're doing a weird victim whine about it. People gave you reasons, you just didn't get the exact responses you were hoping for

Women told you they aren't trauma bonding with whatever broke their hymen if it was even really there in the first place and now you're demanding what exactly. It seems like hymens are important to you for whatever reason and you want some women to validate that but...if they're important to you just find someone with a hymen rather than asking women and ignoring the responses?

If a rapist breaks some kids hymen do you believe that she is bonded with him and is thus permanently damaged goods and unable to form relationships because she will only be bonded and in love with the guy who broke her hymen? Does that seem like a realistic and logical thing to you?

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I still think you're woefully ignorant and fragile.

If you got some hymen fantasy, I'm not going to kink shame you for it but daymn, you aren't making it easy at this point.

 

[Disappointered]

Just below that I gave you a well thought out response that quite frankly you don't deserve because you asked for women's opinions and now you're doing a weird victim whine about it. People gave you reasons, you just didn't get the exact responses you were hoping for

Uh...your post history is sitting in front of anyone reading through the thread.

I still think you're woefully ignorant and fragile.

If you got some hymen fantasy, I'm not going to kink shame you for it but daymn, you aren't making it easy....

It's curious that the first thing that comes to your mind is that I have "some hymen fantasy"...I'm sure you're very confident about that. But if you think about it, you've got no valid reason to be.

 

[Weather]

Here's the deal: this isn't an academic type of question for a lot of women. And that's probably why you're receiving responses that feel personal. This *is* a personal issue that has been used to women's detriment.

Take me, for example. I "lost my virginity" when I was raped. And I was raised in a conservative church that peddled similar nonsense. So, what did I do? I dated my rapist. Re-traumatized myself on the regular because I would obviously never be able to have a good relationship with anyone else; I was ruined and bonded for life. I actually tried to kill myself and ended up getting hospitalized after another woman pressed charges against him for assaulting her and he called me from jail.

 

[CoalmineCanary]

I'm sure you're very confident about that.

Nope, that's why I said "if".
But I am confident you're fragile.

 

[mapletree]

Uh...your post history is sitting in front of anyone reading through the thread.

It's curious that the first thing that comes to your mind is that I have "some hymen fantasy"...I'm sure you're very confident about that. But if you think about it, you've got no valid reason to be.

Yes, my post history is readable. You got an answer and you didn't like it because it wasn't in line with your personal feelings. Tough luck,

Your post history is also visible as well and unsurprisingly it's mostly complaining about females

 

[Ghost2211]

Wow.....

 

[Disappointered]

Nope, that's why I said "if".
But I am confident you're fragile.

Glad to know you're not confident at all about the only part of why I might have started this thread that you chose to comment about.

Yes, my post history is readable. You got an answer and you didn't like it because it wasn't in line with your personal feelings. Tough luck,

Uh, no...I got insults about what you think I'm thinking. You only started answering - someone else - after I responded to your first non-answering response. You're just whining about it now. Tough luck.

 

[StringPuppet]

I never broke one and it's really bothering me to know that if I were to be in a relationship with someone whose hymen I didn't break she might have dreams about that person instead of me.

I don't think this ever happens lol

 

[Disappointered]

Nope, that's why I said "if".
But I am confident you're fragile.

Wrong answer. You might have been able to say you're confident that I'm sheltered, not fragile. See, if someone doesn't know why the hymen exists and it's suggested that it's for trauma bonding that could bind a woman to her first then it's actually quite rational to be worried about how accurate that is and what impact that would have on non-virgins they're going to be in relationships with.

 

[mapletree]

Glad to know you're not confident at all about the only part of why I might have started this thread that you chose to comment about.

Uh, no...I got insults about what you think I'm thinking. You only started answering - someone else - after I responded to your first non-answering response. You're just whining about it now. Tough luck.

Nobody is taking the hymens away from you or forcing you to have sex with someone without a hymen. You got plenty of well thought out answers in the thread, attacked almost everyone, and in the end if you prefer females with hymens then don't have sex with females without hymens. At the end of the day it's your choice. Women told you they aren't trauma bonding and dreaming about whatever possibly broke their hymen and you're just spinning in circles doing ???

 

[CoalmineCanary]

Do you just go around to random boards and ask women obvious questions about their genitalia? Google is your friend.
Man, you put my social awkwardness and inappropriateness to shame. Wow, what a feeling.

 

[Ghost2211]

OP, at some point in posting this you had to have had the thought that asking this question to non-virgin females might make them feel like damaged goods? Also if I lose my hymen to myself during masturbation does that mean I will fantasize about myself during sex and dreams instead of my partner?

i'm sorry this is just absurd. There is sheltered and then there is asking a very socially awkward question that could've been asked to google.

 

[StringPuppet]

Wrong answer. You might have been able to say you're confident that I'm sheltered, not fragile. See, if someone doesn't know why the hymen exists and it's suggested that it's for trauma bonding that could bind a woman to her first then it's actually quite rational to be worried about how accurate that is and what impact that would have on non-virgins they're going to be in relationships with.

I'm sorry dude but this sounds like an irrational fear.

 

[mapletree]

You know what here I will make this simple for you: if you're this concerned that hymens will bind a woman to whatever penetrates it then don't have sex with women without hymens.

You can actually still have a hymen if you've had sex before (I'll avoid that TMI) but if you're this worried about it and based on your post history like, just find someone with a hymen who says they're a virgin

 

[mouseteeth]

Yikes

 

[Disappointered]

Do you just go around to random boards and ask women obvious questions about their genitalia? Google is your friend.
Man, you put my social awkwardness and inappropriateness to shame. Wow, what a feeling.

But if I knew it was obvious why would I ask. As for your social awkwardness I don't know what you're talking about. You made judgements about me. I told you what I thought of them and why. ??

at some point in posting this you had to have had the thought that asking this question to non-virgin females might make them feel like damaged goods

Is that what all this is about? But if it isn't true then why worry so much??