animetal
a confession, a cadaver
- May 8, 2023
- 91
I'm having such a hard time coping with what my life is right now . I can't accept this is how things are and this is how things went. I feel so out of touch with reality I barely go outside I haven't worked in two weeks and I have to go back next week but I'm terribly worried,I've tried therapy and it didn't work, I feel nothing will work for me no matter how hard I try. Every day that goes on is just me feeling regretful for the past. I feel horrible because none of this probably would have happened if I spoke up about the abuse I was going through but I was scared and it went on for five years and my mom blames me but she wasn't someone I could go and talk to either. I did understand what was happening to me at the time but now that I'm older it really I feel it's unfair that he can just live his life and act like nothing happened and then when I finally told my mom he acted like I was lying and I made it up because i was mad . My reality feels so distorted because of the trauma I endured for years . I feel like I can never just be me. I wanted to live and do so many things and I just feel really sad because any hope I had is completely shattered. I wish I could go back in time but I can't and since my future isn't looking so good i feel it's better for me to end it now before it gets worst . Even though I'm 20 I know it's considered still young but I feel there's no chance of me having a normal life ever again . It feels like my life was ruined before it even started because I have no way to cope with anything.
