Venting Venting should be helpful, so I’m gonna try it (?)

[deedeme]

I never vent in real life, not even online because I'm afraid to annoy people, or to be judged.

This leads me to have terrible mood swings and maniac episodes, when (since I can't fucking express my feelings with words cause God forbid I sound too weak) I just pick a fucking fork and stab myself as hard as I can, or cut if desperate.

I'm an attention seeking dumb fuck. I know. I'm so mad at myself for that, I really hate it. I wish I could keep my feelings hidden and just behave. I hate myself. And I feel fucking crazy, I wonder if normal people feel the same? I have no clue because I never went to get diagnosed. I'm wondering if I'm fucked as it is.

The terrible thing is that sometimes I get so frustrated for the smallest things. Like for example right now I just randomly decided to starve and skip dinner. Maybe because my previous feelings were building up and I couldn't take it anymore? Anyways, I'm not crying, I wish I could stab my arm rn but I won't do it. I'll breath in and breath out and see if this post will help me in any way.

I'm a fucking idiot. Sorry.

 

[casual_existence]

I know this guy who says that antipsychotics helped him. Anyway I hope you can get better or have a peaceful death.

 

[Fktw0rld]

I do the same thing. Unfortunately the wars we battle are known as the "invisible killer" for a reason. People claim to care but there's never an outreach because they can't see we're suffering. Unlike a physical accident, broken bone, noticable injury, etc where someone may come forward and ask what's wrong, we don't get that. So what I do is small things for people to notice I'm suffering and hopefully want to talk or help. Not eat, isolate, become short tempered, not respond to texts or respond with something dark. Unfortunately that's when I find the people (who I care for and expect the same in return) can now see I'm physically suffering in some way, shape or form, still don't care. And all I did in the end was hurt myself by trying to send a signal for help.