BlueberrySylv
a very meower
- Dec 31, 2024
- 56
its kinda silly to come back here after so long and just type this.
it's been a while in general, I don't get anti depressants from a psychiatrist anymore because they just rob you and we don't have that kind of money.
I'm taking 5 htp daily but they're not much of help.
and I'm feeling like I'm going back to the same depression I had again.
less and less motivated to do stuff draw work read get out of bed.
it's saddening. I felt like a human on those actual medication but now I'm just back being a whatever the hell creature I am.
and I noticed. my mom and brother are such a narcissist.
it's actually pretty crazy how of a narcissist they are.
I never noticed they were actually this bad but the older they get and I also do. the more I just notice this.
brother REFUSES to get a job because he believes that he's too good of a person to get one and to be ruled after.
and mom thinks she's always right and that we are horrible.
I constantly hear my mom yelling and screaming at me/brother about how I should get job and give her money. and how she regret giving birth to us.
its so hurtful to hear such words. mainly due to me being 18 and I'm just confused after life and I really truly need guidance.
and the other that the fact she's asking a person who's about to go to college, to give her money is. just bonkers.
and I really never had a true dad, when i was young my dad used to be drug addict so I never really had a person to look up to.
and I think it's part of the reason why I'm so, socially awkward and a weird as a person, and barely can even talk properly and also have social anxiety and etc.
living with them I feel like my depression just gets worse every single day, just recently I had a mental breakdown balling my eyes out. and I think that's the icing on top that I am truly just back at being my depressing self.
for context we don't really have a dad either.
and I been taking my 5htp for over a month now. just doesn't seem to be doing anything, 100mg a day.
thank you for reading all this long if you did you're truly awesome <3
it's been a while in general, I don't get anti depressants from a psychiatrist anymore because they just rob you and we don't have that kind of money.
I'm taking 5 htp daily but they're not much of help.
and I'm feeling like I'm going back to the same depression I had again.
less and less motivated to do stuff draw work read get out of bed.
it's saddening. I felt like a human on those actual medication but now I'm just back being a whatever the hell creature I am.
and I noticed. my mom and brother are such a narcissist.
it's actually pretty crazy how of a narcissist they are.
I never noticed they were actually this bad but the older they get and I also do. the more I just notice this.
brother REFUSES to get a job because he believes that he's too good of a person to get one and to be ruled after.
and mom thinks she's always right and that we are horrible.
I constantly hear my mom yelling and screaming at me/brother about how I should get job and give her money. and how she regret giving birth to us.
its so hurtful to hear such words. mainly due to me being 18 and I'm just confused after life and I really truly need guidance.
and the other that the fact she's asking a person who's about to go to college, to give her money is. just bonkers.
and I really never had a true dad, when i was young my dad used to be drug addict so I never really had a person to look up to.
and I think it's part of the reason why I'm so, socially awkward and a weird as a person, and barely can even talk properly and also have social anxiety and etc.
living with them I feel like my depression just gets worse every single day, just recently I had a mental breakdown balling my eyes out. and I think that's the icing on top that I am truly just back at being my depressing self.
for context we don't really have a dad either.
and I been taking my 5htp for over a month now. just doesn't seem to be doing anything, 100mg a day.
thank you for reading all this long if you did you're truly awesome <3
