Venting idk.

[jakaka]

I don't even have the will or energy to give my family a last good memory of or with me. It's impossible for me to be anything but negative. It's fucked up but true. I've been reading and lurking. And I really don't think anyone here can relate everyone seems to be at least functioning in the sense that they have work...or still take care of themselves. I stopped taking care of myself...personal hygiene included. I've given up. Really need a quick fix and quick end. But even that includes effort and I don't even have effort to take care of myself.

 

[Kbeau]

I hear you. Are you on any medications? That might help with the total lack of motivation.

 

[MrAsclepius]

I don't even have the will or energy to give my family a last good memory of or with me. It's impossible for me to be anything but negative. It's fucked up but true. I've been reading and lurking. And I really don't think anyone here can relate everyone seems to be at least functioning in the sense that they have work...or still take care of themselves. I stopped taking care of myself...personal hygiene included. I've given up. Really need a quick fix and quick end. But even that includes effort and I don't even have effort to take care of myself.

Depression pushes us to the edge, but leaves us there unable to jump. Im sorry you are stuck, I have no cure but to tell you for a lot of us posting on here is the height of our day..both mentally and physically.

 

[Spiral]

You are not alone. I am not functioning either, and I think plenty more people here are the same. I would like to give you some advice or say something to help but if I knew I could also help myself. I can send hugs though

 

[jakaka]

I hear you. Are you on any medications? That might help with the total lack of motivation.

No I'm not was suppose to start some but I got scared it's another thing to remember. And it's something you have to commit to can't stop taking them randomly.

 

[booray]

I don't even have the will or energy to give my family a last good memory of or with me. It's impossible for me to be anything but negative. It's fucked up but true. I've been reading and lurking. And I really don't think anyone here can relate everyone seems to be at least functioning in the sense that they have work...or still take care of themselves. I stopped taking care of myself...personal hygiene included. I've given up. Really need a quick fix and quick end. But even that includes effort and I don't even have effort to take care of myself.

I hear you. I'm barely functioning as well. Been out of work for nearly two years now - since way before the pandemic. Most days, I don't even bother getting out of bed except to use the toilet. Barely eating and shower only once a week. I've experienced depression before in my life, but never this bad. I've given up too, so you're not alone.

 

[LastFlowers]

You are not alone. I am not functioning either, and I think plenty more people here are the same. I would like to give you some advice or say something to help but if I knew I could also help myself. I can send hugs though

Yea, my personal hygiene has gone to shit and I'm wasting away from spending most of my time in the fucking fetal position, isolated from everyone and everything.
Whenever I wake from finally getting a few hours of sleep, the overwhelming dread hits me immediately and I feel the complete lack of energy or will to live, makes it very difficult to do anything other than shake and sob. I know there's many people on here who share a similar lack of motivation to even take care of themselves, whether they are sure they are going to ctb, or not. (And even preparing for that takes so much energy that simply is not there. So mentally and physically fatigued.) Misery is fucking exhausting.