Venting vented, wont do that again

[ctb★prince]

i finally built up courage to talk about my issues to others, i usually keep things vague and or tell them not to worry about it, this time i wrote a longer than usual msg about how im mad that i wasnt moved by "no longer human", to which one of my friends replied that too many of us are having issues lately, half jokingly, but it hit me on a personal level because ive been bottling up all these feelings, all my thoughts about the media i consume recently, and when i finally said something, which wasnt graphic, wasnt even that detailed, i got hit with that text, i never tell people that their problems are too much, i do honestly tell them when i cant help, but i never tell them to stop complaining about their problems, i try to be there for other people, and this is what i get, i know they didnt mean it like that, but it did hurt, i am fragile, i am sensitive, and frankly idrc what their intention was, it still makes me want to curl up and isolate myself even more, because if "im sad that this work didnt make me feel a sort of way" is "too much" then ill never be able to say anything about my actual issues, i wont be able to confess about my sh, about my suicidal thoughts, nothing, because it will be too much, ill forever have to live in the shadows, with this being the only place where i can speak up, it terrifies me so much, the thought that i will scare people if i talk too much, it hurts, all the little things like this keep happening and stacking up into this huge uncomfortable pile of negative emotion, i feel alone, i need someone to talk to, someone who wont be affected but at the same yime wont be ignorant to my feelings, im so lost, i just want to disappear or finally be normal

 

[Bunnymmm]

This is why forums like this need to exist. Unsympathetic people do not understand the issues and will say that our problems are too much which is not cool at all. Then they wonder why we do not tell them. I'm sorry you have to go through this, it's a horrible feeling. Those people I want to have a talk with.

 

[Unwr!tten]

Hey, if you need someone to vent to, I'm great at listening.

 

[day]

People are selfish and have one goal, they want you alive for them and not you. They wanna say "at least I tried to help" at the end of it all. It's funny how often people say suicide is selfish, which sure but so is wanting to hold someone hostage in a life they never even asked for then on top of it all were forced to suffer in.

I hope you find peace moving forward OP. I'm sorry the world is so cruel.

 

[ctb★prince]

i keep listening and listening and listening to people, i even often stop myself from saying anything and voicing my own opinions on the matter to not make them feel bad, but whenever i do as much as mention my issues suddenly im crossing the line, or its my fault, or someone replies with "well i feel sorry, but now listen what happened to me", not in a neurodivergent "oh i can relate with that based on this story from my life" kind of way, sometimes some will actually try to competee with me on my suffering, im so tired of it, sometimes i get those thoughts about wanting to make them feel bad for interupting me, i want to be openly angry, i want to be loud about my hurting, to tell the full story, but i hold myself back all the time, and i still get shit for it, like come on‼

 

[MrDarkness]

I know how you feel, I'm always there for people but when I need to vent, no they are always busy, they don't have time, I just complain etc

 

[ctb★prince]

Hey, if you need someone to vent to, I'm great at listening.

ty but its ok, i got too used to it being pointless when trying to talk to a person directly, thats what makes sasu a blessing for me, i get to complain to the void, and there sometimes come out people from the void to complain along about the same thing, it feels less lonely like this

i really appreciate it tho!!!

I know how you feel, I'm always there for people but when I need to vent, no they are always busy, they don't have time, I just complain etc

right like!!! recently someone really close to me said that im not doing enough despite always giving my best and making excuses for whenever they cant do the same for me, i dont get it why people dont appreciate us this much

 

[Shaylla1998]

I can relate to having similar experiences with people I encountered regularly. However, I never opened up about my feelings and instead pushed aside what was best for me.

Others could sense that something wasn't quite right or even completely wrong with me. There was one instance where someone I considered more than just an acquaintance told me I could confide in them if I needed to. Unfortunately, it turned out to be a cruel prank or joke. It was the only time I allowed myself to be vulnerable with someone, and their insensitivity shattered any trust I had.

Nowadays, I have chosen to isolate myself from the outside world to a large extent. I rarely meet people and can go months without leaving the house. I find solace in this seclusion because, by nature, humans can be cruel and self-centered. I simply choose to avoid them.

Don't hesitate to share anything here that may bring you comfort. Even though I don't know you personally, I believe this place / forum can be a source of support for both of us.

 

[Aergia]

I feel this. It took me years to open up to someone I'd always been there for only to be ignored most of the time, or to have my emotions/experiences negated, or to have the subject changed to some triviality or another.

They wanna say "at least I tried to help" at the end of it all.

Precisely this. Some people don't really care— they just want to be vindicated, to avoid feeling any potential guilt that could arise when things go south. Some people make you feel more alone.

I agree that SaSu's a blessing for bringing together people who can understand each other. I hope you find peace, OP.

 

[FuneralCry]

Unfortunately we exist in a world filled with insensitive self-centred people who won't even try to understand how other people suffer, I would personally always see it as best to keep quiet as other people can easily make existing worse.

 

[ctb★prince]

im in a really bad place rn and id just want someone to talk to and suddenly everyone is busy or just pretending not to see my msgs i want to split my head open

 

[CTB Dream]

V sry know how ppl cruel no undrstd pain sffr v sry, rly awfl wrld no plc talk any, hope talk ok forum hug

 

[ctb★prince]

V sry know how ppl cruel no undrstd pain sffr v sry, rly awfl wrld no plc talk any, hope talk ok forum hug

hugging you back