Venting Vent

[stupid trans guy]

My friend killed herself literally a fucking week ago, i remember her saying actually im fine its just mood swings. Then she blew her head off. Her irl bsf told me tuesday and its selfish but i was alr struggling with depression because of mh issues like ocd. Its gotten so much worse so quickly. Idefc that i lwk have more ppl online then irl, nobody understands anything. I live in a small town, i just want to leave. I want to die but i feel Bad if i do, bec my sister, a few irl peopl and ig my family. I have passive suicide thoughts typically like i wish i got cancer or like the sun exploded yk, i just feel like im floating in the middle of the ocean, nobody understands everything. The worst part is that she wrote a note for me. She told me to forgive her and not to hurt myself, but honestly i just feel more guilty.