Venting Vent

[falling_snow]

AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
WHY AM I NOT ENOUGHHHH????
HAVENT I DONE ALL THAT I COULD??
WHY DOES NOBODY LOOK AT ME AND TELL ME THAT IM WORTH IT??????

I just feel like I'm in the brink of breaking down. I cant, I really can't.

I haven't ctb for ALL OF YOUR SELFISH DESIRES, but you can't leave me alone even if I'm struggling.

I HAVE STOPPED SH, I HAVE GONE TO THERAPY, IVE GOTTEN A PART TIME JOB, I EVEN WAKE UP EVERY MORNING JUST TO GO TO COLLEGE IN A DEGREE IM NOT EVEN INTERESTED. JUST LEAVE ME ALONEEEEE

I really thought that if I gave you the chance to look at me, understand me, when I opened myself to you, WHY CANT YOU DO WHAT YOU SAID?? YOU SAID YOULL GIVE ME SPACE AND TIME TO FIGURE MYSELF OUT, BUT OH, NOW HAVING SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION IS BEING SELFISH AND LAZY, WOW

FUCK THIS SHIT, IM TIRED THAT ANY TIME I BURN OUT, YOU JUST DONT UNDERSTAND AND BRUSH IT OFF AS LAZINESS, WHEN YOU CANT EVEN GET ME THE PILLS THAT YOU YOURSELF WANTED ME TO TAKE. CANT I GET THE RECOGNITION FOR THE EFFORT I MAKE EVERYDAY TO JUST KEEP THIS WHOLE PLACE TOGETHER???? AND YOU DARE TO SAY THAT YOU HAVE TO BEAR THE MOST IN THIS "FAMILY" WHEN YOU TOLD ME TO JUST CTB IN MIDDLE OF AN ANXIETY ATTACK???? I THOUGHT U SAID U WERE PAST THAT SHIT OF BEING AN ABUSING PARENT, BUT LOOKS LIKE THAT WAS JUST TO PLEASE THE FUCKING THERAPIST THAT WAS IN FRONT OF YOU.

I'm sorry, I just can't do this shit, but I still can't ctb, not yet.

 

[kwittywhiskerzz!..]

I understand you, I hope you can wait till old age to be alive an well. There will be a better tomorrow, or a better future.