Vent tw: Alone/homeless

[angryoceanlover]

Hi, thank you to anyone who reads this :) i have been on this site for quite a while, trying to become better, and give myself a chance at life. I worked very hard up until this point to escape my abusive household and i finally managed to leave but now i am living with my ex partner, and things couldnt get worse, as we do not get along and it is only his name on the lease, so my housing will most likely be compromised soon. Especially because i have a really hard time walking away from confrontation, but i am getting off topic.

I am simultaneously in the best and worst point of my life at the same time, and I have been considering ctb for years now. I think i am finally ready to make this decision for myself, and it almost feels overwhelmingly comfortable to think about ctb. Almost like some kind of security blanket.

However I am really lonely, so if anyone wants to chat in the meantime, or they are in a similar situation, feel free to reply to this if you are interested. Thank you again!

(Updated because of rules, sorry!!!)

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

hi and welcome. is he threatening to kick you out or something? sounded as if you guys were already broken up before you moved in?

 

[angryoceanlover]

hi and welcome. is he threatening to kick you out or something? sounded as if you guys were already broken up before you moved in?

Hi! Thank you. And no he is not, Ive just been kinda hopping from place to place since i was a kid, so im just super scared of getting kicked out. I also have terrible anger issues, and a hard time controlling my emotions, so i try my best to avoid him so that i wont get triggered.

He has threatened to do it before, but it was because i mentioned feeling like i want to CTB, not for being angry. I think i will be okay for the rest of the week if i just stay in my room. Thank you for asking, hope you are having a decent day as well

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

cool. seems like a very decent friend that you have. if you get... emotional, don't just stay in your room. even a short walk outside may even help.

 

[angryoceanlover]

cool. seems like a very decent friend that you have. if you get... emotional, don't just stay in your room. even a short walk outside may even help.

You are right, i want to go outside. I just feel so exposed, and weird if that makes sense. I guess its just my anxiety. Also feel exposed in my room though so i guess it does not matter. I am laying under a desk right now, lol

 

[MyChoiceAlone]

i see... (not really lol). also, if you need to vent, you came to the right place - whatever you need to get off your mind. most will understand here or even be in a similar situation.

 

[Sra. Grey]

Hola, gracias a cualquiera que lea esto :) He estado en este sitio durante bastante tiempo, tratando de mejorar y darme una oportunidad en la vida. Trabajé muy duro hasta este punto para escapar de mi hogar abusivo y finalmente logré irme, pero ahora vivo con mi ex pareja y las cosas no podrían empeorar, ya que no nos llevamos bien y solo está su nombre en el contrato de arrendamiento. , por lo que lo más probable es que mi vivienda se vea comprometida pronto. Especialmente porque me cuesta mucho alejarme de la confrontación, pero me estoy saliendo del tema.

Estoy simultáneamente en el mejor y en el peor momento de mi vida y llevo años pensando en ctb. Creo que finalmente estoy listo para tomar esta decisión por mí mismo y casi me siento abrumadoramente cómodo pensando en ctb. Casi como una especie de manta de seguridad.

Sin embargo, me siento muy solo, así que si alguien quiere charlar mientras tanto, o está en una situación similar, no dude en responder a esto si está interesado. ¡Gracias de nuevo!

(Actualizado debido a reglas, ¡¡¡lo siento!!!)

Hello, I'm new here, we probably don't speak the same language (I use a translator, sorry) but if you want to talk, count on me.

 

[angryoceanlover]

Hello, I'm new here, we probably don't speak the same language (I use a translator, sorry) but if you want to talk, count on me.

Sure! How are you feeling right now?

 

[Sra. Grey]

Sure! How are you feeling right now?

Not very well at the moment, not used to coming in here at this time but I need to clear my mind. And how do you feel today?

 

[angryoceanlover]

Same here. I hope that you were able to clear your mind, or at least distract yourself for a little while on here. I had a mental break down yesterday, so I am calm now. Just trying to figure out a plan, and maybe talk and help some people if its possible