Ups and downs

[Ineedthis]

Anyone else feel like their entire perspective on life shifts randomly for like a few seconds and all the pain goes away before you remember all the resins you feel the way you do and you slide back into the same perpetual sadness you always have. I'll randomly feel like I can really be someone and I deserve love and affection and I am loveable and their are positive qualities about me and I feel like I can live my full life out, without pain killers, or drugs or cutting. Then I remember I'm a socially-awkward spoiled brat with no talents, passions, hobbies, or positive qualities, and there's no logical reason why anyone should care about what happens to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm just like everyone else but then I replay all the meteorites of Tamil in to people and almost everyone I've ever talked to has patronized me thinking I didn't notice. I'm constantly treated like I'm fragile or mentally disabled or something and worse is that I feel like I deserve it. When I remember this I feel awful for a few seconds then remind myself that I have the painkillers to fall back on and we're all gonna die in the end and nothing really matters and all anything really is is a big chain reaction of Kenton's and quarts that goes back to before I was born that led to every decision that was ever made and everything being the way it is and no one really has a chive in anything because all we really are is our genetics and experiences. Then, I go back to feeling completely numb.

 

[Shatteredhearts824]

I have the same experience of realities practically shifting. One moment I feel like I'm alive and the best in the world and nothing can stop me, and the next I'm just about to end it all and a worthless piece of shit

 

[Ineedthis]

Anyone else feel like their entire perspective on life shifts randomly for like a few seconds and all the pain goes away before you remember all the resins you feel the way you do and you slide back into the same perpetual sadness you always have. I'll randomly feel like I can really be someone and I deserve love and affection and I am loveable and their are positive qualities about me and I feel like I can live my full life out, without pain killers, or drugs or cutting. Then I remember I'm a socially-awkward spoiled brat with no talents, passions, hobbies, or positive qualities, and there's no logical reason why anyone should care about what happens to me. Sometimes I feel like I'm just like everyone else but then I replay all the meteorites of Tamil in to people and almost everyone I've ever talked to has patronized me thinking I didn't notice. I'm constantly treated like I'm fragile or mentally disabled or something and worse is that I feel like I deserve it. When I remember this I feel awful for a few seconds then remind myself that I have the painkillers to fall back on and we're all gonna die in the end and nothing really matters and all anything really is is a big chain reaction of Kenton's and quarts that goes back to before I was born that led to every decision that was ever made and everything being the way it is and no one really has a chive in anything because all we really are is our genetics and experiences. Then, I go back to feeling completely numb.

I really wish I'd spellchecked this before posting