Discussion update

[resteasy3232]

its been a bit since my last posts, if you dont know me which most wont know me my girlfriend passed away and she was on this site for a while. schizophrenic episode and more lead to her death. it still pains me to this day, tomorrow will be 5 months since her passing, im not really sure what to think. i mean i feel like ive recovered a while but for the past 5 months she is on my mind multiple times throughout the day, she didnt deserve what happened to the things that happened to her as a kid and even now, she impulsively took SN and now ive been thinking about doing the same, i cant bring myself to buy it. i know i have people that will miss me if i do end up taking SN and ending myself, i have a cat, family, people that care about me, i have an alright life. but ive never felt okay in it. i just want to sleep forever and get it over with. i wish there was a button thatd just take me away and not have anyone worry about me, i feel like a lot of people think like that.


im hoping it gets better overtime but im not sure if it will, i've never had a death like this. not someone i cared about like this. thank you

 

[TheLastGreySky]

I wish you didn't feel like us. My brother was murdered in 2020 and it ruined me, I think I've just had the worst last couple of years. But I will say that you seem to have a gentle heart, so if you're able to stay strong do so. But if you need to cry, then cry it out. Only you can decide what is right In The end. And honestly, there's two ways to look at the situation.

There's pushing forward and living life regardless if it gets better or stays the same...
Or there's the option of making the people you love hurt the way you do over your girlfriend.
Honestly no one should ever have to make this decision. But if you need someone to talk to my DMs are open.

 

[kimcoffee_]

Best of luck in your choice

 

[FuneralCry]

I understand just wanting to sleep forever, to be permanently free from all the suffering is all I hope for. But anyway I wish you the best.

 

[onthefence]

Oh resteasy. I hear your grief. I can't imagine losing someone so special that way. I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish there was an off button for my life as well. Lately I would even accept a pause button for a few days to have a break from myself. Please don't order the SN unless you are really ready. If I had ordered mine when I figured it out I would have already impulsively taken it. Know that we are here to listen.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I am so unbelievably sorry that you had to lose your girlfriend in that way. I couldn't imagine the pain. Somehow losing someone to suicide feels a million times worse than just passing away. The anguish you must be feeling would be crippling.

I would try and live your life for the both of you. I'm sure she would want you to do that. You have so much to live for, and so much that you've yet to experience. Live for her.

She will always be a part of you. Time will heal the wound but it will never fully close. Carry her in your heart and in your memories forever. And take your time to grieve. There is no timeline and also no rush. We all process differently. 5 months and the wound is still very fresh. Make sure to take care of yourself the best you can and don't let people pressure you into situations or thinking's that are uncomfortable for you. Thinking about you, I'm so sorry.