update

[brickedup]

i previously made a thread about a suicide attempt method which was decapitation by train. well, here's an update:

a couple days ago i attempted. but i jumped off the tracks like half a mile before the train passed by. it was blaring its horn. i'm not sure why i jumped off. i just thought "maybe this is too early... maybe i should wait a bit more and things will get a little better".

here i am now and i've made some horrible decisions this week. i already regret jumping off the tracks. i wish i could go back and stay on it so i could just die. maybe i'll attempt again today. i'm so done. i cant anymore. i have no future. i have nothing left to live for, no motivation, no nothing. i just want to restart my life.

if i cant handle making stupid decisions, how am i gonna survive adulthood? i can't. i'm so useless bro. i just hope i work up the guts to drive there and not fear what's on the other side. please wish a clean and successful attempt for me. ill be back if i make it. also this is not for attention. i am actually going to these train tracks. i just want somewhere to yap away.