Update for anyone following

[easypeasy]

Hello friends,

My attempt a month ago didn't go to plan. I took 30 Valium crushed in a suspension and I was knocked out in 5 min, just before I planned to down the SN.

Due to birthdays and Mother's Day in May, I pushed my date out another month. I also have to make sure I have enough Valium, which I currently have prescribed due to severe pain. Therefore, I use it daily and will need to make sure I have enough when the time comes.

I'm bringing this up because originally I planned the 19th of May to attempt again, but I don't know if I'll have enough Valium and I don't want to drink SN without it, while I'm in bad pain. Pain makes it harder to focus. Some people messaged me and were very keen to be a part of my exit on the 16th but I don't know if that will happen. I also don't want the added expectation, pressure or questions should I simply change the date, or God willing, experience a medical miracle. Lord knows I want to live, I just can't manage this level of pain and the mobility due to permanent injury.

I just need to feel this out in my own time. It's not an emotional decision. It's one of common sense. Xo

With love

xx

 

[bankai]

Common sense decisions are hard to argue with. My reason to exit is also common sense. If I can't find any joy any more then life is just not worth living. Hard to argue.

 

[HerculePoirot]

Please do not give up on possible medical solutions. Medical science is making innovations every day.

 

[Britney Spears]

Hello friends,

My attempt a month ago didn't go to plan. I took 30 Valium crushed in a suspension and I was knocked out in 5 min, just before I planned to down the SN.

Due to birthdays and Mother's Day in May, I pushed my date out another month. I also have to make sure I have enough Valium, which I currently have prescribed due to severe pain. Therefore, I use it daily and will need to make sure I have enough when the time comes.

I'm bringing this up because originally I planned the 19th of May to attempt again, but I don't know if I'll have enough Valium and I don't want to drink SN without it, while I'm in bad pain. Pain makes it harder to focus. Some people messaged me and were very keen to be a part of my exit on the 16th but I don't know if that will happen. I also don't want the added expectation, pressure or questions should I simply change the date, or God willing, experience a medical miracle. Lord knows I want to live, I just can't manage this level of pain and the mobility due to permanent injury.

I just need to feel this out in my own time. It's not an emotional decision. It's one of common sense. Xo

With love

xx

You're a sweetheart. No one knows you better than you do, and no one knows us better than we do if there's any chance of recovery. If you still have a glimmer of light, however small, try to focus on yourself and on him. Give it all you can and try every medical remedy for your condition. Perhaps that spark will become a light in you. CTB is the last after trying everything. A big hug, love.

 

[NegevChina]

Hello friends,

My attempt a month ago didn't go to plan. I took 30 Valium crushed in a suspension and I was knocked out in 5 min, just before I planned to down the SN.

Due to birthdays and Mother's Day in May, I pushed my date out another month. I also have to make sure I have enough Valium, which I currently have prescribed due to severe pain. Therefore, I use it daily and will need to make sure I have enough when the time comes.

I'm bringing this up because originally I planned the 19th of May to attempt again, but I don't know if I'll have enough Valium and I don't want to drink SN without it, while I'm in bad pain. Pain makes it harder to focus. Some people messaged me and were very keen to be a part of my exit on the 16th but I don't know if that will happen. I also don't want the added expectation, pressure or questions should I simply change the date, or God willing, experience a medical miracle. Lord knows I want to live, I just can't manage this level of pain and the mobility due to permanent injury.

I just need to feel this out in my own time. It's not an emotional decision. It's one of common sense. Xo

With love

xx

Hoping for a medical miracle for you!
What ever happens I wish you the best.
My decision is also of common sense, need to go soon before things get much worse.

 

[easypeasy]

Common sense decisions are hard to argue with. My reason to exit is also common sense. If I can't find any joy any more then life is just not worth living. Hard to argue.

Oh, I can feel you pain coming through the screen with every word. You sound exhausted. Big big hugs to you my friend

Hoping for a medical miracle for you!
What ever happens I wish you the best.
My decision is also of common sense, need to go soon before things get much worse.

I'm always happy to see your name in my comments section. Thank you :)

 

[bankai]

Oh, I can feel you pain coming through the screen with every word. You sound exhausted. Big big hugs to you my friend

I'm always happy to see your name in my comments section. Thank you :)

ooh that's so nice to hear ,thank you

 

[easypeasy]

Please do not give up on possible medical solutions. Medical science is making innovations every day.

I haven't given up. I've just exhausted every possibility. This began 7 years ago. Sadly, you'll just have to trust me that what happened is irreparable. In fact, the surgery I had to repair minor damage left me permanently disabled. So….. no…medical intervention can and does make it worse in some cases. I'd have been better off if I didn't try and fix things. Also….They won't paralyse me permanently, so while there are possibly medical means to do that.. so I can live pain free existence…..ethically it wouldn't happen.

You're a sweetheart. No one knows you better than you do, and no one knows us better than we do if there's any chance of recovery. If you still have a glimmer of light, however small, try to focus on yourself and on him. Give it all you can and try every medical remedy for your condition. Perhaps that spark will become a light in you. CTB is the last after trying everything. A big hug, love.

I definitely have tried every medical avenue possible. Of course I would never consider ending my life unless it was an emergency. I don't have depression. I'm extremely passionate about life and motivated. I have so many ideas and things I want to do, but I can't use my body to move or my brain to think. Until you go through what I have, it's hard to fathom.

I haven't lost the will to live…it's nothing to do with that. i have a very positive mindset. It has nothing to do with a lack of spark.

 

[J&L383]

I'm sorry your life has come to this. . Big .

 

[Worndown]

Sometimes options are no longer acceptable. I am sorry you have reached this point, but glad you have a plan.
May you find peace.