Unwarranted hostility (online or real life) — anyone else?

[Seiko]

I normally put on a stoicisic guise anywhere else. I'm letting it down here.

If you asked a simple question or shared a non-provocative statement, someone's always out to get you to call you stupid or explain why you're wrong. It could be that I'm in the wrong environments, but it's always a negative experience when I share anything. You can't go anywhere without ad hominem attacks despite no argument even taking place. As I wake up to a new day, there's an increasing void of kindness and it is being replaced with witty comments, prove-you-wrongers (the "acktually' people), and the people who take the constructive out of constructive criticism — for no reason at all. As I'm saying this, I mean attacks that stem from things truly devoid of anything that is even remotely controversial.

Some real examples: I used to share photos of the presents I wrapped for some family members. Out of the blue, I had someone criticizing the wall color of the room I was in. Another time, I took a picture of something I got from the store, and just because I had my hand in the frame, the same person called me out on having "bad cuticles". In another photo of my room, some overzealous plant warrior told me off for having a succulent under a lamp instead of in the sun. I also used to share videos of my dog, and people would pick out parts from the background of the video (e,g: a dog gate to the porch) and pull the wildest assumptions about neglect and abuse.

To be crystal-clear: not talking about this site (although some of you may feel it here).

Why do some people pride themselves on being rude? Seriously: what do you gain out of saying hurtful things for no reason? It's got to a point where it's a breath of fresh air when someone shows a teensy slither of respect. It shouldn't be that way. All this negativity can't be good for the future. Even if it's words on the screen — yeah, it fucking hurts.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Why do some people pride themselves on being rude? Seriously: what do you gain out of saying hurtful things for no reason?

Stimulation, fun, a proactive defense against others that will do the same (you're in battle instead of getting bullied), to feel better than the other person in some way, to express unmet needs, etc.

 

[Rational man]

I normally put on a stoicisic guise anywhere else. I'm letting it down here.

If you asked a simple question or shared a non-provocative statement, someone's always out to get you to call you stupid or explain why you're wrong. It could be that I'm in the wrong environments, but it's always a negative experience when I share anything. You can't go anywhere without ad hominem attacks despite no argument even taking place. As I wake up to a new day, there's an increasing void of kindness and it is being replaced with witty comments, prove-you-wrongers (the "acktually' people), and the people who take the constructive out of constructive criticism — for no reason at all. As I'm saying this, I mean attacks that stem from things truly devoid of anything that is even remotely controversial.

Some real examples: I used to share photos of the presents I wrapped for some family members. Out of the blue, I had someone criticizing the wall color of the room I was in. Another time, I took a picture of something I got from the store, and just because I had my hand in the frame, the same person called me out on having "bad cuticles". In another photo of my room, some overzealous plant warrior told me off for having a succulent under a lamp instead of in the sun. I also used to share videos of my dog, and people would pick out parts from the background of the video (e,g: a dog gate to the porch) and pull the wildest assumptions about neglect and abuse.

To be crystal-clear: not talking about this site (although some of you may feel it here).

Why do some people pride themselves on being rude? Seriously: what do you gain out of saying hurtful things for no reason? It's got to a point where it's a breath of fresh air when someone shows a teensy slither of respect. It shouldn't be that way. All this negativity can't be good for the future. Even if it's words on the screen — yeah, it fucking hurts.

The clue is not to feed these fuck faces. surely it occurs to you that they are offloading their pain onto YOU. You make a choice to absorb their crap !.

 

[Lone_Gray_Wolf]

The experiences you mention are almost a joke, those can not be real, they should NOT be real. Like, who gives a f about someone's wall on a picture? Come on, they need some sense slapped or smth.

Wish you good luck.

 

[UnEssential]

I normally put on a stoicisic guise anywhere else. I'm letting it down here.

If you asked a simple question or shared a non-provocative statement, someone's always out to get you to call you stupid or explain why you're wrong. It could be that I'm in the wrong environments, but it's always a negative experience when I share anything. You can't go anywhere without ad hominem attacks despite no argument even taking place. As I wake up to a new day, there's an increasing void of kindness and it is being replaced with witty comments, prove-you-wrongers (the "acktually' people), and the people who take the constructive out of constructive criticism — for no reason at all. As I'm saying this, I mean attacks that stem from things truly devoid of anything that is even remotely controversial.

Some real examples: I used to share photos of the presents I wrapped for some family members. Out of the blue, I had someone criticizing the wall color of the room I was in. Another time, I took a picture of something I got from the store, and just because I had my hand in the frame, the same person called me out on having "bad cuticles". In another photo of my room, some overzealous plant warrior told me off for having a succulent under a lamp instead of in the sun. I also used to share videos of my dog, and people would pick out parts from the background of the video (e,g: a dog gate to the porch) and pull the wildest assumptions about neglect and abuse.

To be crystal-clear: not talking about this site (although some of you may feel it here).

Why do some people pride themselves on being rude? Seriously: what do you gain out of saying hurtful things for no reason? It's got to a point where it's a breath of fresh air when someone shows a teensy slither of respect. It shouldn't be that way. All this negativity can't be good for the future. Even if it's words on the screen — yeah, it fucking hurts.

The world is very angry right now as a result of the pandemic. It's not you, it's them.

 

[FuneralCry]

It is not worth interacting with people like that. People can be cruel for no good reason. I do not understand most people, for the most part I cannot stand others. I just see it as better to always keep my distance as then they cannot upset me.

 

[NormaJeane]

There are always people who complain, people who are lying and many people are mean because they enjoy hurting others. The simplest thing to do is to ignore or delete. Overpopulation is the problem, therefore quarrels arise.

 

[LonelyBrazilian]

This is one of the reasons I've become even more reclusive (irl and online) and more discouraged to talk to people.

 

[WatermelonMel]

Yes, it seems like the vast majority always have some form of hostility and feel the need to pointlessly criticize or make fun of things. I try to avoid people IRL for this reason alone, people are generally nasty and like to stir up drama/cause negativity for no other reason than to boost their own ego.

That's one reason this site is so cool, we don't typically see that kind of behavior here.

The world is very angry right now as a result of the pandemic. It's not you, it's them.

but it's always been like this. People are just hardwired to be assholes from time to time.

 

[Pluto]

This has been happening for as long as there has been the internet. It used to be explained as a result of people feeling safer behind their keyboards rather than having to interact face to face with someone.

In modern times, social media websites are cesspools of venom quite by design, as it makes them more profitable. (Source) Perhaps aggression has become normalised in online interactions, though it does not have to be this way. As others have mentioned, this site is for the most part a remarkable exception.

As an analogy, compare the typical behaviour of motorists in quiet rural towns versus the big cities. Certain environments make monsters of men.

 

[blueclover_.]

Respond with laughter and/or jokes. That makes it clear that you're not affected by their pathetic little words.