Venting Unsure what Method

[holdont1llmay]

I have a long history of suicide attempts, my first one was when I was 5 (I kept trying to strangle myself, silly me) - I've had nasty overdoses on pills one stopping my breathing for a bit , I still have issues thinking at times which I relate to that, I have a gun but its safe guarded at my stepdads place.

Tried to hang myself got pussy and got my tv, stool, and belt taken away. (Forgot to clean up the mess, I'm 18 still live at home)

I'm looking into SN, does it hurt bad? Will it leave a mess? I'm considering just stealing my gun from my stepdad, splatter my brains all over my childhood bedroom but I could imagine my siblings finding me and playing in my blood cause they're young - so would SN be the way to go? How pricey is it? Is there a chance of me failing. I don't know I want my attempt to be perfect.

 

[FakeSmileGuy]

You could try jumping, or even something like shallow water blackout, here is the thread for it https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/shallow-water-blackout.4315/

You really don't need anything for either of these methods, I think they're worth looking into.

 

[holdont1llmay]

the gun sounds more efficient in your case, you dont need to do it in your childhood room

also more instantaneous

Haha. I still live in my childhood room, it's different now but its my first bedroom I had shared with my brother closet in age. Can't really get it over with anywhere else, I'm supposed to move in with my s/o soon, he already is a clusterfuck of traumatized & my room at my stepdads, well I could but he is the only person whose ever shown me genuine compassion and values my life.

 

[FuneralCry]

It sounds like you've suffered a lot, I personally really wish it's more straightforward to be permanently free from this existence. But anyway best wishes, I hope that you eventually find what you search for.